'Talking about your struggles is the most important thing you can do'

Warning - this story contains discussion of suicide and suicidal feelings

A mental health coach who spent decades hiding his own struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts has come to the Isle of Man to help parents better support their teenagers.

Neil Kelders is holding workshops to equip people with "simple tools" to recognise and respond to the early warning signs of poor mental health.

He said he was motivated to help others because of his own experiences.

"I hid behind a mask," said Neil, who explained that he had quietly struggled with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts for many years.

Growing up, Neil described himself as somebody that nobody worried about.

He said he was seen as a "happy, carefree guy - one of the lads", adding that his uncle had given him the nickname "Smiler".

The BBC Action Line provides information and details about a range of mental health support organisations

In reality, though, Neil said he struggled from the age of 15, when he recalled writing the word "suicide" in a school book.

"I didn't reveal it to anyone when I was struggling," he said. "Nobody knew. I felt there was no way out of this.

"I felt I had tried everything to help myself... and I just basically thought life wasn't for me.

"My only hope, I thought, was going to be in death."

Neil said everything changed, however, in his 30s, when he confided in his sister-in-law for the first time.

He said: "I basically said to her 'I have to die'."

From that moment, Neil said "it was like 30-odd years had lifted from my shoulders".

Later that day he said he saw his brother, who "didn't say a word" but instead "brought me in for a hug".

Neil said it was "the first time in many, many years, I felt maybe things could be OK".

Neil said his own experience showed how difficult it can be to talk about suicidal feelings.

"We hear about 'you should talk, talk, talk'," he said, adding that while it was "very important" to do so, it was also "the most difficult thing you will do".

He encouraged people to ask direct questions if they are concerned about someone's mental health.

That question, he said, "might make that person realise: 'Oh My God, someone noticed me'."

The workshop was organised by Isle Stand Up To Suicide after volunteers noticed increasing concern among parents during suicide prevention training sessions.

Founder Paula Dunlop said: "We've noticed quite a few parents that were asking about the challenges that they've got with their teenagers... emotional issues, mental health issues, self-harming issues."

Dunlop said suicide was "the leading cause of death in the UK" for under 35s.

She said she hoped the sessions would support people with the "tools for managing emotions and overwhelm, stress, the turmoil of those years and maybe helping to put it into perspective before a crisis happens".

Dunlop said the event could act as a "springboard" for further work on youth well-being on the island, potentially including smaller workshops and more online sessions.

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