'Coffee catch-ups grew into men's mental health movement'

"We're not solving anyone's problems, but they don't have to face them alone," says Jack Woodhams, co-founder of mental health charity Menfulness.

"That's the power of community: the power of realising it's very normal to feel this way."

Ten years ago, Jack could not have foreseen he would play a key part in a wellbeing movement based in York, tackling the stigma around men's mental health.

He just really wanted a chat.

Trying to find the balance between work, being a new father and the general demands of life, Jack had found his mental health declining, taking him to what he describes as "low places".

While post-natal support services for women seemed more commonplace, at the time there was little focus on men navigating parenthood, he says.

His wife, recognising that he was struggling, encouraged him to connect with other new fathers, including her friends' partners.

That is how a group of sleep-deprived dads first met up for a coffee to share the highs and lows of raising children, putting the wheels in motion for the creation of what would become Menfulness.

"I don't think we thought we'd be where we are now when we first met up," Jack laughs.

"We just wanted a vent, a bit of bacon and a coffee - and to talk about parenthood in an honest way."

A decade on and Menfulness is a registered charity, offering support, activities and counselling to what its organisers say are "hundreds" of men across North Yorkshire.

Led by Jack and the leadership team of Mike Hewitt, Dan Braidley, Matty Lewis and Sam Watling, its services are open to all men, not just fathers.

Recently, it announced a roll-out of services in Scarborough, backed by Humber and North Yorkshire Integrated Care Board and York St John University.

"It's something we're really proud of - it's for guys to support each other and realise they're not alone," Jack explains.

"We're trying to normalise that and say that accessing therapy is pretty cool and it's normal.

"Just like going to the shop or the gym, you access therapy, you get support and you talk about your feelings."

Before Menfulness, there was another organisation called Yorkey Dads, borne from the success of the initial tired-dad coffee morning, which then formed as a peer support group in 2016.

Still running today as a branch of the Menfulness charity's network, the Yorkey Dads group hosts activities including something called "Hair School", a chance for fathers to learn how to style their child's hair.

Reflecting on those early years, Jack says there was "no way" to predict the group would keep growing.

They were "riding the wave" and responding to a demand that was clearly there, he says.

"The most rewarding factor is to actually see the change in guys and hear their stories about how they've benefited," Jack says.

"This is all down to the guys and how they've kept showing up, supporting themselves and supporting their families."

In November, Jack was invited to York St John University where he studied his Bachelors degree, to receive an honorary degree for his work in the mental health sector.

"It means everything - and it isn't just for me. I'm just one of the faces of Menfulness. It's also for my co-founders Matty, Dan, Mike and Sam," he says.

"It shows that it makes a difference, and it means everything to me to go back to my old stomping ground and be awarded in this way."

The occasion was especially poignant because many students at the ceremony had worked with Menfulness as part of their psychology course, Jack adds.

Jack says that in the future he is looking forward to seeing the impact their new venture in Scarborough can have in reaching more men across North Yorkshire.

As one of the organisations currently involved in Mayor for York and North Yorkshire David Skaith's mental health drive, Jack says he hopes to extend the reach of Menfulness even further.

"Who knows in the next 10 years, but the fact we're part of the conversation is wonderful," he says.

But the simplicity of the message Menfulness is trying to convey is still as important as ever, according to Jack.

"It's not rocket science - it's a bit of a superpower, talking, and when you realise that, it makes a huge difference for us guys."

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