Mum of late cancer podcast host still listens to old episodes

The mum of the late You, Me and the Big C podcast presenter Rachael Bland says she still listens back to old episodes to feel close to her daughter.

Gayna Hodges says she still talks about her daughter "as often as I possibly can" after Rachael's death in 2018.

Journalist Rachael founded the podcast after she was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer in 2016, and presented the show alongside the late Dame Deborah James and Lauren Mahon.

Gayna says she loves hearing her daughter's voice on the award-winning series, where the presenters shared their experiences of living with cancer.

Cardiff-born Rachael was working as a journalist for BBC Radio 5 Live when she was diagnosed with a very aggressive type of breast cancer in 2016, after finding a lump under her arm.

She blogged about her experience and this eventually led to her founding You, Me and the Big C.

Gayna still remembers when she first heard Rachael mention the idea of the podcast and her excitement when it was commissioned.

Speaking to BBC Radio 5 Live Breakfast, Gayna praised Rachael's drive and desire "to do something quite different with the conversation around cancer".

Talking about her daughter's legacy, Gayna said: "I've spoken to so many people and I've mentioned the podcast and they say, 'oh yes, I've heard that podcast... oh, my mother or somebody's got cancer and they listen to the podcast'.

"So, it's made such a difference to so many people."

After Rachael was diagnosed, she met Dame Deborah and Lauren through social media, and the trio's first episode aired in March 2018, six months before Rachael's death.

Gayna said: "I love listening to Rachel's voice. I bring her up in conversations as often as I possibly can.

"She wanted people to see that even with cancer, you can still live a decent life and have fun."

Rachael died at the age of 40 in September 2018, leaving behind her husband Steve and son Freddie, who was two at the time.

Talking about her grief, Gayna said: "It's been really hard... I live alone.

"I just try and live each day at a time, and talk about her as much as I can."

Due to the distance, Gayna is rarely able to visit her daughter's grave in Knutsford but instead has a memory pebble for "Rachie" at her husband's David's grave at a local churchyard in south Wales.

She said: "I'm sure she would be watching down and saying, 'thanks mum'."

Rachael's husband Steve later joined the podcast as its third host.

But it came to an end shortly after Dame Deborah, who raised millions with her Bowelbabe campaign, died of bowel cancer in 2022, also aged 40.

Steve will be hosting a special episode of the podcast for World Cancer Day on 4 February on BBC Sounds, alongside Lauren.

Speaking to BBC Radio Wales Breakfast, Steve said: "It's a legacy I'm really, really proud of and I know Rachael was, and I know Deborah was as well.

"Even if we help one person feel a little less lonely, a little less terrified, make somebody feel like we're with them in dark times, if we did that just once it was worth the 105 episodes we recorded."

Steve said his life had "completely changed", with son Freddie, now 10, a big brother to twins after he remarried.

He said: "Life is very, very different but hopefully that's just an example of life after cancer."