I was determined to bring ex-boyfriend to justice over revenge porn threat

Tamara Black felt she had no way out after her former boyfriend threatened to share intimate videos he had found on her phone.

"I just felt violated. I felt sick. My trust was completely broken," she said.

Already feeling vulnerable as she waited for an MRI scan in hospital due to previous seizures, she asked her then boyfriend to get a phone number on an old mobile she had after switching devices.

Instead of passing the number on and leaving it at that, he went through her phone and found intimate videos of her with a previous partner.

She ended the relationship but shortly afterwards, her ex Dejvid Sidders threatened to share the videos with people she worked with.

Tamara said she was at her lowest, and attempted to take her own life due to the "embarrassment" and "violation" she felt.

"He made me feel disgusting, he made me feel like I didn't want to be here any more," the 24-year-old said.

"But because of fighting for justice, to make sure he would pay for his crimes - that made me click out of that."

Tamara, from Derby, would go on to get that justice, which resulted in Sidders answering for his crimes in court. She has waived her right to anonymity to speak to the BBC about her experience.

The day after her hospital visit, Tamara ended her relationship with Sidders.

He told her he was in possession of the intimate videos, and threatened that he would release them if she did not pay him £103 worth of gifts he had bought for her.

She said she refused to do so, and Sidders continued his threats to share the videos with her work colleagues.

Tamara added friends of Sidders then messaged her on social media, referring to the content.

She added she felt "even more violated" he had mentioned the videos to friends.

"They told me Dejvid had the tapes and I needed to pay him," she said.

"I felt sick to my stomach, I couldn't believe what I was reading... at the time, I felt like they had all seen them."

She went to the police and Sidders was later charged.

At Southern Derbyshire Magistrates' Court, he pleaded guilty to threatening to share a photograph or film of a person in an intimate state, and a second charge of sending offensive messages via a public communications network.

At sentencing on 4 February, he received a 12-month community order including 100 hours of unpaid work and 18 days of rehabilitation activity, as well as a three-year restraining order.

The videos were not shared on a public platform, but Tamara left her job in the NHS as a radiographer assistant because she was "too embarrassed" to go back working there.

"I put my notice in at work because of him... he told people who I worked with," she said.

Tamara is now appealing to other potential victims of intimate image abuse - also known as revenge porn - to report it.

"Even if you don't feel like you're being listened to or believed, report it and push for it," she said.

"Make sure you screenshot everything if it's online and just don't give up... I'm so glad I had my day in court because it healed part of me from what he had done to me.

"That alone was what helped me hold on for so long.

"I am hoping that by speaking out about it all, it can give people hope that they can get justice too."

According to the charity End Violence Against Women, latest figures released in November showed revenge porn and cyber-flashing offences were responsible for over half of the 11% increase in reported sexual offences.

Figures show 13,000 offences were recorded as revenge porn and cyber-flashing - both new criminal offences included in the Online Safety Act 2023.

Det Ch Insp Laura Sanders, from Derbyshire Police, specialises in investigating these types of crime.

She said the force took it "incredibly seriously".

"There's a loss of control for the victim, it's their photo. It should be used how they want to use it," she said.

"When it's shared by somebody else, it takes that control away. Once those photos are out there, they can't do anything about it and it's absolutely devastating.

"We will always listen to you, we will not judge and we will take every report seriously. By telling us, you might stop it happening to somebody else."

Rebecca Hitchen, from End Violence Against Women, said many victims did not feel confident in reporting, and added more needed to be done to tackle the issue.

"It's very hard to measure the true scale of what's happening, because we know this is a crime which is seriously and significantly under-reported," she said.

"Women and girls will be experiencing these crimes but don't feel confident or don't feel like they will be treated with respect and dignity and taken seriously if they do report it.

"There is support available, there are amazing organisations who are providing specialist support to survivors but ultimately we know much more needs to be done from preventing it from happening in the first place."

Additional reporting by Matthew Barlow

• If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, support is available via the BBC Action Line

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