'Adoption matters at Christmas more than ever'

When John* saw his adopted son James for the first time he knew instantly the five-year-old would be a part of his family forever.

The West Midlands dad, and his wife Gail* decided to adopt in 2007 after being unable to conceive a child naturally.

When they met James, he had spent two Christmases in foster care, after coming from an abusive home.

John said: "He didn't have that long term sense of belonging. That is so important. But when he came to us, he had that - a family for life."

In the UK, 2,940 children are waiting to be adopted with a family - with 1,430 of those waiting more than 18 months since entering care.

Adoption agency Adoption Focus said there is a shortfall of around 1,525 adoptive families.

The agency said each statistic represents a child spending yet another Christmas without the one thing they need most - belonging.

Gail was adopted at three weeks old, with no knowledge of her background and the couple said they wanted to provide a loving home to a child in need.

John said: "We adopted with a voluntary agency because they are independent not for profit organisations.

"Their focus is purely on finding the best outcome for children and they have supported us all the way."

He said the process was comprehensive, including a four-day preparation training course, followed by a six month home study period with weekly visits from a social worker.

"Every aspect of our lives was explored. The process was very thorough, but not intrusive", added John.

Anna Sharkey, CEO of Adoption Focus, said fewer people are coming forward to explore the adoption process due to a persistent belief that adoption is a long, difficult, and invasive process.

She said: "There's an adoption crisis happening quietly in the background of our society and it's not being talked about enough.

"These are children who have already experienced loss, trauma, and instability, and they deserve the chance of a permanent, loving home."

After being approved by an adoption panel, the couple spent three months looking at profiles for potential children before coming across James.

A few months later, they met him for the first time.

John said: "There was something that drew us to his profile from that one photograph, it just felt natural.

"Then seeing him was surreal. The night before I remember sitting having dinner at the hotel and thinking five miles away from here is the boy I'm going to parent for life.

"We only had an hour with him, it was so intense, but it was wonderful. I don't think I've experienced any stronger emotions in my life. It was a gut feeling."

After a week of getting to know him, James came back to the couple's home and became theirs.

Speaking about the journey, he added: "It's been difficult but immensely rewarding. He's a lovely, kind empathetic young man, he's got a great moral compass."

Ms Sharkey said the feeling of belonging matters more at Christmas for children awaiting families as it centres so much on family, security and togetherness.

She said: "For children who are waiting for adoption, this period can quietly highlight what they do not yet have.

"While many families are gathering and celebrating, these children are often facing uncertainty about their future.

"A sense of belonging is what allows a child to feel safe, valued and connected and it gives them the foundation they need as they grow.

"When a child knows they have a family who is there for them, not just at Christmas but throughout their life, it transforms how they see themselves and the world around them.

"Adoption can offer that lifelong sense of belonging, and Christmas reminds us just how important that truly is".

*Names have been changed.

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