Hairy Biker widow says 'live the life they can't'

Megan Paterson,in Gatesheadand
Evie Lake,North East and Cumbria
News imageMegan Paterson/BBC Lili Myers smiling into the camera with her mouth closed. She is wearing bright pink lipstick and large-framed brown glasses. She has brown hair which falls to her shoulders and is wearing a leather jacket with a silver zip up the middle. She is standing in a library in front of shelves labelled 'Food & drink'.Megan Paterson/BBC
Lili Myers said she wanted to show there was life after losing a loved one

The widow of Hairy Biker Dave Myers and the author of detective drama Vera have urged people to speak about grief after the deaths of their husbands.

As part of Gateshead's Festival of Compassion, Lili Myers said she wanted to show people "there is life after losing someone".

Dave was one half of the TV duo along with Si King and died in February 2024 from cancer, while writer Ann Cleeves lost her husband Tim in 2017 to a heart condition.

The festival held events aimed at giving people the space to talk about death and grief.

Myers met Dave, who was from Barrow-in-Furness in Cumbria, while he was filming in Romania for the first Hairy Bikers series. They were together for almost 20 years before he died.

She released a book last year about their relationship as a way of dealing with her loss.

'Earth is crushing you'

Myers said: "We are not very comfortable talking about loss and as soon as I experienced my loss, I started to be a little bit more vocal about it and tried to educate people that there is life after losing somebody.

"As hard as it is, and it is hard, and at some point you feel like the earth is crushing, you're crushing, life goes on and you have a choice to hide or to live your life and make the best of it and also to honour the person that you lost by living the life they can't live."

During the festival, Cleeves, who lives in Whitley Bay, shared how reading had given her an escape when life suddenly became unfamiliar after her husband's death.

"It took me quite a long time just to work out how to live without him," the crime writer said.

"Everyone's grief is different. I think we have this perception that people can bounce back quite quickly and actually the sense that grief comes in waves."

News imageMegan Paterson/BBC Ann Cleeves smiling into the camera. She has short, white hair and is wearing a blue shirt with a black cardigan on top. She is sitting in front of two banners. One which has a mug and an open book on it and another with words which are slightly cut off.Megan Paterson/BBC
Ann Cleeves said it took her a long time to figure out life without Tim

Cleeves said her daughter was a midwife and had compared grief to labour pains.

"You know they come in waves and you think you're doing alright and then you're hit by another one and you're swamped," she said.

The events were organised by Compassionate Gateshead in partnership with community charity Edberts House and the palliative care team at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital.

Julian Prior, project manager at Compassionate Gateshead, said: "We really want to make sure that nobody faces death or dying or grief alone.

"It's all about connection to other people who've been through it and can help, who can just point you in the right direction to be able to support you through what is the most challenging part of anybody's life."

News imageFamily Handout Lili and Dave Myers have their arms around each other and are smiling at the camera. Lili has mid-length blonde hair and is wearing a white top. Dave has mid-length brown hair and a grey beard. He is wearing a blue suit.Family Handout
Lili and Dave Myers had been together for almost 20 years

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