'I still can't mourn son who vanished 20 years ago'

For 20 years, Nicki Durbin has lived in a constant state of grief, unable to mourn the loss of her son, whose fate has remained a mystery for the last two decades.

Luke Durbin, who was 19 at the time, vanished on 12 May 2006 after a night out with friends in Ipswich, never to return to his home in Hollesley, near Woodbridge, Suffolk.

His disappearance came in the year when Saddam Hussein was executed, Tony Blair was Prime Minister, and Twitter first went online. And that length of time is not lost on Nicki, who points out, with it being 20 years since she last set eyes on him, Luke has now been missing "longer than we had him".

"Every anniversary is difficult, but I think saying 20 years out loud is just so painful; that's a whole life," she said.

"It's longer than we had Luke. We had Luke for 19 years, and now he has been gone for 20."

According to the police, in the hours before his disappearance, Luke finished work at a greengrocer in Aldeburgh before going to a drug deal in Woodbridge on 11 May - the day his mum last saw him.

He then rode his new motorbike to his friend's house, where he was planning to stay the night, before they went to a pub in Woodbridge and then took a taxi to Ipswich.

After drinking, taking cocaine and clubbing, Luke left the Zest nightclub alone, failing to get a taxi home, having left his phones, keys and wallet at his friend's house.

Luke, who taught himself guitar at the age of 13 and loved rock music, was last captured on CCTV at 04:00 BST in Dog's Head Street heading towards the bus station.

Then, the following day, he was reportedly sighted between 11:00 and 14:00 in a dark blue Renault Mégane being driven by a man in Quayside, Woodbridge.

"I strongly believe someone locally knows something about Luke, and I find it shocking someone could hold onto that information and live a normal life," said Nicki.

"I couldn't live with myself or sleep at night, but I'd equally like to say that, as time has moved on, I don't want justice; all I want is to know what happened.

"There's never going to be closure, but to have answers would bring some semblance of peace. Luke is still out there somewhere, and we just need to bring him home."

In the years since "sweet and loving" Luke vanished, his family has both welcomed new additions and said goodbye to relatives, like his grandad, who died in 2013.

His mum says it was difficult that Luke - who would now be 39 - was not there for key moments.

"I could be so happy about something, but then there's always that nagging thing that I'd love to know what Luke [would think]," she said.

"I think most families in the world with [missing children] will tell you we just become masters of masking overwhelming grief."

And for Nicki, that grief is as ever-present as it is never-ending.

"The loss of a child… It's not the normal chain of events, and I cannot mourn," she added.

"I do not believe he's alive because I believe he would have contacted. So, it's like a constant state of grief."

Over the years, Suffolk Police has explored various lines of enquiry, including whether Luke owed a debt to a county lines drugs gang.

The force also appealed for information about a Volvo caught on a nearby CCTV camera 10 minutes after Luke was last seen on camera.

And, in 2012, two people were arrested on suspicion of murder before they were both released without charge.

The case is currently in the hands of the police's Major Investigations Team, which Nicki says has been "meticulous" in its handling of any new evidence that has come forward, as well as older material.

"Although it is not being actively investigated, any new lead that comes in will be investigated," she told the BBC.

"And I have a direct line to speak to them, which gives me so much peace because if I were fighting to speak to someone, it would be another level of stress that I wouldn't need."

Suffolk Police previously said any information received was subject to further investigation where appropriate, and Mr Durbin's family would be kept informed regarding any "significant" inquiries.

The force added that officers continued to appeal for anyone with information that may assist the investigation to get in touch.

Suffolk Police was contacted for further comment.

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