A Quiet Love: The six-decade romance that defied divisions

Matt FoxBBC News NI
News imageCurious North Productions An elderly couple, both with grey hair. Holding each other's faces. The man is wearing a grey jumper and has a beard, the woman is wearing a blue polka dot top. They are gazing into each others eyes, with a sky pictured behind them.Curious North Productions
John and Agnes met at a school for deaf children more than 60 years ago

For more than six decades, John and Agnes Carberry have shared a love story that quietly defied the divisions of where they grew up.

Long before integrated education was established in Northern Ireland, a school in Jordanstown provided a rare chance for Catholic and Protestant deaf children to learn side by side.

"Nowadays it's become quite topical, whereas we were doing it before the rest of Northern Ireland was," John remarked. "There were never bad words against each other or any sort of animosity because of religion. It just didn't exist in the deaf community."

John is from a Catholic background and grew up in west Belfast, while Agnes is from a Protestant background, hailing from the Silent Valley.

The couple's cross-community love story is now one of three being shared with international audiences through the award-winning documentary A Quiet Love, Ireland's first feature film in Irish Sign Language (ISL).

'Our independence was stripped away'

In the film, viewers learn how difficult life was for deaf people during The Troubles, the period of conflict in Northern Ireland which lasted almost 30 years and cost the lives of more than 3,500 people.

Alongside describing the disapproval they faced from their families and wider society, the couple also recount what it was like to navigate bombings and active gunfire without the ability to hear.

Explaining their motivation for taking part in the film, John said it was an opportunity to "bring out what it was like over the hard times of The Troubles as deaf people".

"It really did affect deaf people's lives, our social lives, so much about us. Our independence was stripped away," he said.

But despite those challenges, Agnes and John are keen to emphasise that, for them, love ultimately won over hate.

"We have had a lot of documentaries and books about the Troubles and the dark times, [but] where's the good stories?" John said.

"What that brought was just hatred to the country," Agnes added. "We've been able to show love and peace and equality by being together."

News imageCurious North Productions An older couple sits on a wooden bench against a bright red wall, holding hands across a green planter filled with flowers. The man has grey hair and a full beard, and wears a light green sweater and dark trousers, while the other woman wears a green‑striped shirt and black trousers. A red hanging pot with flowers is attached to the wall above them.
Curious North Productions
John said the film was an opportunity to show what the Troubles were like for deaf people

Marking a first for an Irish feature film, A Quiet Love was produced by a deaf and hearing team and incorporates both ISL and British Sign Language.

"It's great to hear people say, 'oh my gosh, I didn't realise there are two languages existing here in Ireland'. And they're not languages that have come from spoken Irish and English, they are their own languages in their own right, so it's been marvellous," John said.

"It's wonderful that both our languages are there on the big screen," Agnes added.

News imageCurious North Productions A crowd gathers at a colourful outdoor Pride event, with people standing beneath a large arch of rainbow balloons. In the foreground, two female adults hold young blonde-haired children while looking toward the lively scene ahead. Many attendees wear bright clothing, and pride flags and decorations and balloons are visible throughout the background.Curious North Productions
Kathy and Michelle navigate life with their two children

A Quiet Love captures the remarkable love stories of three couples and, alongside John and Agnes, viewers are introduced to an LGBTQI+ couple navigating parenthood with deaf and hearing children (Kathy and Michelle) and a deaf boxer and his hearing partner (Seán and Deyanna) facing a life-altering choice.

The documentary was directed by Garry Keane and was co-produced by Anne Heffernan and Seán Herlihy of Curious North Productions.

Garry said he had considered making a feature film with the deaf community for about 12 years, having previously worked on smaller productions with Anne, and described it as "one of the highlights" of his career thus far.

'Beautiful eye contact'

On deciding to document three love stories, Anne said she was "especially moved by the intimacy between deaf couples", and how "beautifully cinematic" sign language is.

"You'll notice this beautiful eye contact that happens between couples when they're there, because they obviously have to look at each other when they're signing," she said.

"That beauty inspired the film's theme, which we explore through three very different couples, each offering their own nuanced glimpse into a community many people know of but rarely see up close."

The concept of documenting love stories was "quite an unusual thing" for Garry, whose previous work in the Middle East has earned him significant acclaim.

"I work in a lot of humanitarian stuff, and stuff that's really probably hard to watch at times and certainly hard to bear at times. So it was a lovely breath of fresh air," he said.

News imageCurious North Productions Two people embrace inside a boxing ring, framed by thick blue and white ropes in the foreground. One person wears a sleeveless black top, and the other wears a light-colored shirt. The setting appears to be an indoor venue with spectators partially visible in the background.
Curious North Productions
Seán and his partner face a life-altering choice as he pursues his dream of being a professional boxer

The film has screened at festivals around the world, from New Zealand to the US, and picked up numerous prizes including the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Award at the Global Production Awards in Cannes, and the Audience Choice Award at the the San Diego International Film Festival.

But for those behind the production, the biggest accolade has been from the deaf community.

"We've had people coming up to us saying, 'I never imagined that I would sit in a cinema like this with other deaf people and watch stories about my life and my experience on screen'," Anne told BBC News NI.

"I was really emotional... you could see people kind of welling up at just the experience of being there and they really did feel that they could see themselves on screen.

"That part is really, really special."

News imageTwo people sit close together on a beige sofa in a warmly lit living room. The man with grey hair and beard wears a dark sweater and a thick brown scarf, while the woman wears a bright blue top with a red patterned scarf. Vertical blinds and greenery outside a window are visible in the background, and floral cushions rest on either side of them.
Some family members never knew of the difficulties John and Agnes faced when they started dating

For Agnes and John, the film was not only a chance to share their story - one even some of their grandchildren had never heard - but also an opportunity to broaden audiences' understanding of what it means to be deaf.

"At the end of the day, we're just people, we're people who have relationships and they can be good, we can be funny, we can be happy," Agnes said.

"We're just people like anybody else... with feelings and emotions and experiences."

And their secret to more than 60 years of marriage?

"Four letters," said John.

"L-O-V-E.

"Love. Love always will win for us."

A Quiet Love is now showing in selected cinemas across the island of Ireland.