'My son will never be the same again after sexual abuse by a friend'

The mother of a boy who was sexually abused by another child has said his life will "never be the same again".

She was speaking as BBC News NI can reveal that 231 young people have been referred to health trusts in Northern Ireland after exhibiting harmful sexualised behaviours in just under two years.

These behaviours are classified as anything which is developmentally inappropriate sexual behaviour displayed by children which is harmful or abusive.

It includes abuse of other children, sometimes called peer-on-peer abuse.

The NSPCC has reported increased numbers of children contacting them about this kind of abuse in recent years.

Marcella Leonard, an independent social worker, said that sex education in Northern Ireland is "not good enough" and politicians need to separate it from religion.

The Department of Education (DE) said "significant investment" has been provided to support the development of resources in relationships and sex education (RSE) available to schools.

The mother said the ordeal had a "devastating impact" on their family and her son is experiencing "extreme trauma and stress".

"He feels like his life is changed forever and he'll never be the same again," said the mother, who along with her son is entitled to anonymity.

"We've all received counselling and both my husband and I have had to get mediation for anxiety and tablets to help us sleep."

She added that more education is needed around peer-on-peer abuse.

"It's something that as a parent I never thought to discuss with my children," she said.

"Whenever I talked to them it always revolved around adults being inappropriate, I never thought to warn them against their own friends."

She added that as a family they are still dealing with the revelations.

"I can't explain how shocked we were, it's so hard to accept as a parent. You feel responsible that you weren't aware of the danger and that you didn't keep your child safe. It's just so unbelievable that this has happened to your child without your knowledge."

Figures provided to BBC News NI from the five health trusts reveal that in 2024 and 2025 there were 231 young people referred after exhibiting harmful sexualised behaviours.

Because of the way statistics are collated by the Police Service of Northern Ireland, it is not known how many sexual abuse cases involve both an underage suspect and victim.

Experts say there are several reasons we might be seeing increasing numbers of children reporting peer-on-peer child sex abuse, including increased awareness, and the use of social media.

Last month, police investigated the creation of AI generated explicit images at a school in Armagh.

Leonard said there's a full range of behaviour from children being exposed to something sexually inappropriate or being coerced, but social media has changed things.

"More recently increasingly it's peer behaviour using technology, that would be taking imagery and using AI apps to amend it, or coercing a peer to share imagery and sharing it through apps."

Leonard said understanding where the behaviour is coming from is important.

"For example has the child engaged in the pathway because something has happened to them, and they've experienced sexual abuse?

"Maybe because of neurodiversity or a learning disability the child has done the behaviour but not realised or understood it's wrong.

"The other pathway might be the young person who does actively engage in harmful sexual behaviour knowing it is wrong unfortunately wanting to cause pain to another child."

Leonard said young people today are more confident about coming forward.

She also said it must be remembered it is children involved in these cases.

"All of us make mistakes as children, and we have to allow children to make mistakes, to learn and to change their behaviour."

She added that good education can be key.

"For some children it's about giving them really good sex education. For some children it will take a lot longer and they may do it again.

"If the politicians genuinely had children at heart in relation to trying to help them navigate through life in terms of their sexual behaviours we would give them good sex education."

However, Leonard believes religion has too much influence on how RSE is taught in schools.

Each school in Northern Ireland is required by the DE to teach RSE.

What is actually taught is a matter for each school to decide based on their ethos, but there has been criticism around some aspects of this recently.

A DE spokesperson said all young people, "regardless of gender or faith", have access to, and participate in, RSE programmes.

"All grant‑aided schools are required to have an RSE policy developed in consultation with parents and pupils," they added.

"Boards of governors must ensure that a comprehensive RSE programme is in place that reflects this policy and meets the needs of their pupils.

"This includes addressing harmful behaviours and supporting children and young people to recognise, respond to and report peer‑on‑peer abuse."

Details of support are available on the BBC Action Line.