The Day After Yesterday
Dear James, and all our other readers,
‘The day after yesterday’ doesn’t really exist as an English phrase. I can only remember hearing it once before, in a film called ‘Sideways’ which came out a few years ago. The protagonist of this film was a would-be writer (called Miles, if I remember rightly). At one point in the film he’s trying to impress a woman by telling her about his unpublished novel. As he describes it, it’s easy to see why it’s unpublished. Finally, she asks him what the title is.
“The Day After Yesterday,” he proudly says.
She looks nonplussed. “What,” she says, “you mean ‘today’?”
That’s American humour, not British. Maria asked about the book which made me laugh so much on the bus the other day, and where she could get a copy. The book was called ‘Lint’, by Steve Aylett. Like ‘Sideways’, it’s the story of an imaginary writer, Jeff Lint. Actually, I doubt very much whether this book has been translated into any other languages. Jokes are notoriously difficult to translate, partly because they often depend on linguistic double-meanings and partly because different cultures often have very different senses of humour – and this book is particularly bizarre and English in its sense of humour. I’ll give you a few examples of lines which made me laugh (I hope this won’t break any copyright laws; I’m sure Paul will let me know if it does).
“I was so scared of that huge spike-ball… I locked myself in the cupboard and tried to suffocate myself with the dog.”
“We’re just haunted beef, really.”
“Lint’s was a career haunted by death, including the suspicious death of his rival Herzog, and the mysterious ‘Lint is dead’ rumours, which persisted even after his death.”
Do those quotations make any sense to you? If not, don’t worry – they don’t really make all that much sense to a native speaker, but I find them all very funny (I admit that I have a particularly dark and strange sense of humour, even for an Englishman). If I haven’t put Maria from London off, she can find the book on the sci-fi shelves of most of the big bookshops in central London.
I’ve always found it very interesting how different nationalities and cultural groups have different senses of humour. I remember I once had a high-level class, and I asked them to think of a joke in their own language and translate it into English. There were students of many different nationalities in the class (including two Korean guys), and they all racked their brains for a long time – until finally one Korean guy raised his hand and said, “I’ve got a Korean joke I can tell you.”
“Okay,” I said, “tell us a Korean joke.”
The student paused for a moment then said, “it’s very cold in here, isn’t it?”
And immediately the other Korean guy burst out laughing, while I looked at the other students and we all shrugged our shoulders; none of us could see anything funny about the words, “it’s very cold in here isn’t it?” – except the two Koreans, who were weeping with laughter.
That’s all from me for today. If anyone can translate a joke from their own language into English, I’d very much like to hear it.
Alex
Lots of lovely vocabulary today!
The protagonist of a story is the main or central character, sometimes called the ‘hero’.
A would-be writer is someone who is trying to be a writer, but hasn’t had much success.
The adjective nonplussed means confused, and suggests that you’re so confused that you’re speechless.
If something is imaginary, then it’s not real, it doesn’t exist – someone imagined it. For example, the unicorn is an imaginary animal. Be careful not to confuse this word with the word ‘imaginative’, which is used to describe someone who has a strong imagination.
‘Notoriously’ means ‘famously’, but in a negative sense.
‘Copyright’ is a noun in this example. It means the legal right to reproduce a picture, a piece of music, or something like that.
To suffocate someone is to prevent them from breathing, so they die.
We most often use the word haunted to describe a house. It means that ghosts live there.
To persist in this context means to continue.
‘Sci-fi’ is a very common abbreviation for science fiction.
If you racked your brains, you think very hard about something.
Finally, to shrug your shoulders is to raise your shoulders and lower them again. In Britain and in many other cultures, this means, ‘I don’t know,’ or, ‘I don’t care.’
Comments
Hello Alex! This part of the film that you mentioned it´s very funny indeed. Actually the film is really good, especially because all the journey that Miles and his friend Jack do along the vineyards in order to taste the best California wines, hmmm... amazing. Err... Hmm, I´ve been looking for the book Lint in the bookstores here in Brazil, and both the translated and the English version are very expensive, so I think I´m satisfied with the few lines that you wrote for us( for sure it´s black humour :-) ). Anyway, instead Lint I´ve bought Waiting for Godot, but it hasn´t delivered yet. So, I´m literal Waiting for Godot. Besides that, I don´t dare to translate any Brazilian joke here, because I´m one of the worst joke tellers that I´ve ever seen in my whole life. Ok, maybe I´m exaggeranting a bit, and actually my sister is worse than me, but never mind. I guess I´ll owe this for you. By the way, Friday is very much beautiful indeed. Good night, Ana Paula.
Hey, Alex. How you doing? You didn't understand why those guys burst out laughing and neither did I, but don't worry, I'll tell you a bad one I read in the newspaper of the Irish community of my country and hope you like it: -Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? -Simon: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook. Well, I don't think it's Argentinian humor... is that kind of humor Irish or British? As for your stay at your friend's home, how are you getting on it? Hugs,
Hai Alex. I have my country's joke for you. "PAIJO" One day, there’s one passenger of domestic flight who came from remote village Lampung, Southern of Sumatra. The passanger is one of richest man who live in his village. His name is Paijo. Paijo has own many hectares of coffee plantation in South of Sumatra, one of biggest coffee production area in Indonesia. Paijo planned to have vacation in Bali and brought a lot of money in cash on his bag. Once naif Paijo entered the cabin, he sat on the fist line which executive class while he bought only economic class. Stewardess : Sir, may I see your boarding pass please? Paijo : <he gave boarding pass to her and held his bag tightly> Stewardess : Sir, you hold the seat No. 17A on the back side, I could accompany you to your seat . Paijo : No. thank you. I want to sit here. Stewardess : But, sorry Sir, This is not you seat. Paijo : Some people said before I left my village, “Do not believe easily what people say to you in the city as they may lie to you, there are not honest like us”. Stewardess : ***&%(CONFUSED()&*) Other passenger claim to crew cabin to handle the man immediately as flight might delay to uncertain schedule. All cabin crew could not managed it and many passenger could not bring their luggage and inside the cabin was crowded. Stewardess became confused how to handle it. Finally one young man approach to Paijo, and whispered to Paijo some word which less than 1 minutes, then suddenly Paijo rushed and moved to seat No. 17A on economic class. Stewardess asked to the young man. Stewardess : Sir, what did you said to that man? Young Man : “I just said, where are you going?” And he said I’m going to Bali. And I said again to that man “Oh, Sir. This seat is not going to Bali, the seat to Bali should be Seat No. 17A in back cabin”. Stewardess : ???
Perhaps James will comment on this, but in Taiwan after someone says a really bad joke people say, "Oh, it's so cold!" or "It's so cold in here!" which is basically saying, "What a lame joke!" but I have never heard it existing as a joke in and of itself. If so, it is a pretty bad joke, in any language! Unfortunately I can't remember any jokes that are 'clean' so I won't be able to share one at the moment!
Nia's story made me think of what I was told had happened on a national flight in Finland. There is a minority in Finland speaking Swedish, the majority speaks Finnish. Many town names have two names, one in Finnish, one in Swedish. The stewardess was new on the line and had started to announce the arrival to Kokkola, the Finnish name of the town where they were touching down, when suddenly she realised that she did not know the Swedish one. - What's it in Swedish, whispered she to her colleague. - Kuckeliku. So she announced in Swedish the arrival to Kuckeliku and found the passengers very smiling when they left. 'Kuckeliku' is the Swedish word for the crowing of a cock: cock-a-doodle-doo. It can also mean hanky-panky. The real Swedish name of the town is Gamla Karleby.
Hi Alex! The protagonists of my joke are two hunters: The first hunter:- Damn bird! I’ve shot three times at it and it’s still flying on!? The second hunter:- It must be deaf..
hi,Alex!"Brevity is the soul of wit." i think these words its can explain what does the "it's so cold here,isn't it?" mean.Many spokers often use it in his speech,you know a successful talk, which one born in a easy atmosphere.he said "it's so cold here,isn't it" because people who in your class all stared at him,this atmospere really is cold|silent| isn't it? hmmmm..atually i'm come from china so that his words can be understanded easily by asian. is the joke be opened? have good one..
Hi all… a true story during a flight from somewhere to somewhere. A passenger: “Please give me Vermouth”. A stewardess: “Rosso or Bianco”. A passenger: “No hurry, bring it when you can”. Cheers for all. By the way, I like it dry. Kirsti: Kuckeliku from Leila
Thank you Alex for the information about the book. Don't worry, you haven't put me off and I will read it anyway once I find it. Sorry I can't think on any joke to share right now!
A very drunk man was standed beside a stake at night. He was suspicious for a policeman so he ( the policeman) decided to return after some time and the man was still there with his eyes moving from one to other side. Policeman: What are you looking and what are you doing here? The man: all the things are moving around my head and I am waiting for my house to enter.
Hi! It seems to me as ugliest English joke that your language has so many rules that teachers of English are possibly exceptional human species, such perfect, that they should be awarded by the highest salary as a rule! We,lerners, then should have tiger senses so being able to think over everything in no time. Otherwise there remain to me weariness and strong feeling of cruel unjust. Is that the dark difference we should understand about people who come from Britain? You see for the jokes I don`t have much strenghts. Kind regards!!
Hello Alex and all others! My joke will be what it happened to me 10 minutes ago, while I was reading the chapter of the Korean students: because I made a confusion between "weep" and "wee" because in French we say that:-x sorry!!! I burst into laughter again, it amuses me so much!
Dear Alex: I enjoy reading the teacher´s blogs. A great way to keep learning English. Some days ago you mentioned as mistakes the phrases "Hitchcock´s films" and "Dostoievsky´s novels". But, isn´t that grammatical construction (using an apostrophe to indicate posession) very common in English? Thank you very much, I hope to meet you in future blogs
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