Happiness is...
Dear Soyoung,
Thanks for your blog. Like you, I am looking forward to the weekend. Today is exceptionally stormy, really unpleasant and a bit frightening. The weather forecast is for better weather tomorrow. I hope so.
I’ve been writing all morning, and trying to ignore the wind. I’m glad your blog has arrived. Now I can focus on something else for a while: the things that make us happy. For you, it’s ice-cream, movies, e-mail, wine, clothes and blogging. What makes me happy? Let me think…
1) Lucy. She’s a good daughter. She’s clever, helpful, funny, loving and I think she has good values.
2) Running. When the weather is good – dry, not too hot, not too windy – and I am running (jogging) in the park, I find it easy to forget problems and enjoy the open space. I live near an enormous royal deer park so it is easy to run away from the traffic. I see herds of deer, very close up, every day.
3) Friends. I love sitting around a table with friends, and a bottle or two of good French wine, talking about nothing special late into the night. If there’s good music to listen to and good food to eat, that can make it even better. It is good to know that there are people who like you.
4) Home. I love travelling. I have travelled very widely around the world. I enjoy being a foreigner. I like visiting new places and meeting new people. But it’s always very nice to come home. I have a very small house, but I like it and find it very comfortable. I am always happy to be home.
5) Money. We say that money can’t buy happiness. But if you have no money – or not enough to be comfortable – it isn’t easy to be happy, I think. I buy lots of books and CDs. I like to buy good food. Good wine is not cheap. I go to the cinema and the theatre as often as I can. I like live music, too. Like you, I rather like expensive clothes, even though I can’t really afford them. Most of this isn’t really necessary, but it makes life better in so many ways. None of it is free.
6) Independence. I work freelance. That can be a problem when there is no work. However, when I have work I can usually decide when to do it. In my life there are very few times when I am obliged to do something I don’t want to do. I’m lucky, I know, but it’s also how I’ve tried to arrange my life.
Well, Soyoung, the wind is getting worse. So something which would make me happy right now would be if the weather improved. I hope it’s not too bad where you are.
There are a few language notes, below, as usual, Then, maybe, you can relax, in a new sweater, with a tub of ice-cream and a good movie with a couple of friends, followed by a bottle of good wine. No? Well the weekend’s almost here.
Have fun!
Best wishes,
STEPHEN
PS: I like your use of the word ‘Mancunian’. For people who don’t know, it means someone who comes from Manchester. Well done, Soyoung.
SOME USEFUL WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS
weather forecast
a radio or TV programme, or feature in a newspaper, saying what the weather will be like the following day or for the next few days
ignore
If you ignore someone or something, you take no notice of them.
values
moral principles and beliefs
deer
large wild animal (the male usually has large, branching horns or antlers); check the word in a good bi-lingual dictionary
herds
family groups (of deer)
FOCUS ON TENSES
I have selected some sentences from your blog. Let’s focus on the correct tense forms. Look at your original sentences and then compare them with the re-written (and corrected) versions below. I have typed in bold the parts of each sentence which need to agree:
I have appreciated your kind comments on my blog since we started.
I’m facing a difficult situation at work where my manager wants me to do more work.
I will feel better soon.
I ate ice-cream after work last week.
I call them sometimes and frequently write e-mails to them.
I rarely drink with my mum because she doesn’t like to drink alcohol.
I make a shopping list and a budget before going shopping.
I have never had ‘global’ friends I’ve never seen before.
You have no idea what a nice surprise it is.
If you need more help with tenses, you should check the forms and functions of the different tenses, in a good grammar book. Then, it could be a good idea to buy a good, self-study grammar practice book (with answers) which focuses on tense forms.
Comments
I liked your list of favorite things. It reminded me of the song Julie Andrews sang to the children in "The Sound of Music" to calm them down during a thunderstorm: "my favorite things". It sure is one of my favorite songs. As for me I agree with the words to this song when it mentions very simple things that can bring us so much happiness if we just learn to appreciate them.
Speaking of happiness, Stephen, I agree with you in numbers: 1) Some people make me happy. Just to know there are people like you and Lucy in this World...just to see your nice smile in the top of this page or the Lucy's smile on the photos...I believe this is enough to create a special atmosphere around us readers. 3)Friends are something vital to be happy. 4)Home is our harbor 5)I agree in part with this 6)I agree in part with this because I also need to be secure and safe to be happy. The ideal work for me woud be part time of a flexible job and part time of stable job. Unfortunately, I can't agree with nº: 2) I can do anything. I can play "frescobol", do exercise,dance, play football or volley but once I start running, my left foot starts hurting and my unique option is to enjoy long walking. I agree even more with Soyoung. I love ice-cream and movies. On the other hand, I'm not so addicted to wine. Nothing against who appreciate it, I just don't like the taste of alcohol very much. However I can drink a little bit if I am acompanied by good friends. Imagine...you, Lucy, Soyoung, some readers from here and me having the french wine mentioned by you?! Definitively this would be the best way to ilustrate happiness.
Hello Stephen It seems that the foul weather makes you a little bit depressed as your blog was not like every others day . You sound like a happy go lucky person. This is great. Isn't it? Regarding Lucy I would say that I totally agree with all your comments about her. Pl. add to it that she is very beutiful, although she resembles you a lot but she is pretty. May God bless her every happiness and keep her always healthy and prosperous. If she knows the values then it is more than good. You should be proud of her. Children are such a beautiful gift of God that no matter how you feel down,or depressed they make you happy. You have left no point to your list except that you should also be happy that by teaching english you are giving knowledge and educate people throughout the world. Giving alwasy makes you more happy then taking. Do you agree with me? Stephen what is the policy of BBC about answering the questions of readers? Take care, wishing you a great weekend and pleasant weather. Farida
Hi Stephen, You have noted some of the top points which lead to happiness. Among them you graded Lucy, your daughter in the first. It’s is nice. Even though she lost her mother in her early age, she coped to manage and has become matured girl. She realizes the values and principles in the life. Because you have shown the way where and how should she go? Now you are doing the dual role to make her happier person. As you mentioned the money, we can’t get happiness through money. I fully agree with you. But some people said that they will get happiness only when they are alone, away form home, away from daily problem and away from the worldly affairs. They want to be alone in the hills or in the forest, making prayers and doing meditations all the times. Will those people attain true happiness? Some people find happiness while working for others, particularly for the weaker section of society. I know one Christian brother. He is a origin of Britain. He left his own country and family members 50 years ago. He has been working for poor people in India, especially for the orphan boys and girls and destitute women. He finds happiness with them. Many times he said he is a much happiest person in India than in his own country. Hi s service and dedication make everything more delightful. What ever the work we are doing, if we do it perfectly with commitment we will find happiness in it. Money and fame will follow it automatically. You put your knowledge, skills and talents in the freelance works. That makes every one knows about you. We all feel happy about you
Dear my teacher, It is interested to read your happiness. For me, happiness is: 1.Reading a favorite book, movie, play, such as the great novel "Gone with the Wind" of Magaret Mitechell. I have read it ten times since i were 20 year old(now i am 27 year old.) Each time i read it, i have the different feelings and thinking. What is a great novel! Have you read it, Stephen? According to you, what is a great work? In my opinion, a great work(book or movie) is a work that a large of people can enjoy and understand it, however, each of them will understand/feel/enjoy the work with many angles, depending on their "prism". 2. Travelling: I love to travel to discover the wonderful places in the world, visit the countryside, where is a deep blue fruit garden or rice field, etc...and enjoy the food. Dear Stephen, have you tried Vietnamese food? Very delicious and healthy! 3.Study abroad: I dream to study MBA in Singapore or UK. I am saving money:-) 4. Joining “Positive thinking” course of Living Values Organization: It teaches me how to live a happy life, first I learn how to think in positive way, then I learn meditation(like Yoga). There are 4 weeks/a course, but I love to learn again and again with different teachers. They are very kind and happy volunteer teachers. I think this course is very good for you, Stephen and Soyoung. This non-profitable organization, named Living Values, is sponsored by UNICEF. They hold the free classes and have the offices in many countries (http://www.livingvalues.net/). Best regards, Tram
Thanks for your attention, Stephen! And thanks to Soyoung, when I saw you said that you would feel warm when strangers wrote comments to you and concerned you, I feel happy too. More like Stephen, family, friends, sports will cheer me up a lot, but I am not an independant girl. I like to hang out with friends, and what is more, I was quite used to be like this. Until so far, I am still struggling with myself in order to be more independant. Hope I will do well in the future! In my point of view, to be happy, we should have proper attitudes about the life, and we should try to make people who surround us happy! Then the positive atmosphere will infect us again, and we will feel much more happier. Smile is very powerful! Dear Soyoung, hope you can find happy from tomorrow's work, and hope the heavy wind will get better too, :) For myself, I have an very important exam tomorrow, anxious now! But I plan to imagine I will pass it now. hahaha! :) Have a nice weekend! From Helen
Hi,Stephen I had same weather like you yesterday.One of my neibour's front garden fence fell down becouse of the strong wind.I've got a job this afternoon as the wind messed up our garden. Anyway I am happy to be with my son and my husband.They are the best friend of me and the pricious people to me. When I sing korean songs to my son and he sings along with me and mimicking me it make me be over the moon.I am pleased to e-mail to my korean family and keep in touch with my old friends.I am so happy to look after one of my friend's son.she is a single mum and she has just started to work.Watching someone be indipendent and getting confidence is onther my happiness at the monent.have a fun day! p.s:is your daughter getting better?
Dear Stephen Thanks for your interesting blogs. It is very useful for me to improve my English. I think happiness is a very great part of life but I don't know what makes me happy surely. So I often ask often what makes me happy, what is happiness. Because I feel unhappy, uncomfortable very often without any reasons, even everything is fine, working well. I don’t think I am a pessimistic, introvert person. What I would like to say is we need to find out things that make us happy. It may relate to our values, personal and career plans. I like this phrase about happiness. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony (Mahatma Gandhi). Have a nice weekend.
Dear Stephen, I always enjoy reading your blogs. I can learn various culture and life style as well as grammar and usage to improve my English. You become my online English teacher. But this is my first participation in blogging to write a comment to you as I do not agree with your idea on “Happiness is”. I also used to think what the happiness is. Real happiness is something that is stable and consistent and able to give us the unchangeable effect whenever we think about it. It must also be under our control and easily accessible whenever we need it. What I find out is that the real happiness never relies on the tangible things as it is intangible and only associated with intangible matters. You said your daughter is one of your happiness. Can you recall some memories in which she gave you anxiety and made you worried? Can you give her command not to fall sick that makes you worried? You cannot control her not to grow old and maintain young and healthy. Can you? So I will not say that having a good child is having a true happiness. But I will say that having a good child is a good support to a parent’s life. Running. It is not under your control. Whenever you want to get happiness by running, you need to think about the weather and your health as well. You do not need to think about the weather if you are staying in a country like Singapore, as it has only one season for the whole year, which is a humid climate. Thus, you should say a good health brings you happiness, in stead. I think you will not be surprised to know that someone with no money is sleeping with happiness while a millionaire is searching it. I am witness to the villagers who live harmonically each other in peace and happiness. My daily expense is equal to one family’s monthly expense in this village. But they are happier than me. Happiness based on money depends on individual. Some wants more money to gain more happiness. So they hunted money after money after money until they become too exhausted to enjoy the happiness. The above examples are just in brief. But we can see clear that ‘happiness does not rely on the tangible things’. To say precisely, it develops from intangible things; love, patience, kindness, content, and good morality. When you own these as a foundation of happiness, it will last forever deep inside because no one can steal or destroy it. You don’t need anything to pay to own these to gain your happiness. This is what “Happiness” is. All the best to you and your daughter … with much love, Swe Swe.
Dear Stephen, thanks a lot for writting about hapiness. i am taking advantage to learn the english grammer and words. regarding happiness, i am not ready at all for your defination for same. happiness is felt after grief.
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