14th of September (5th blog entry)
Hi everyone!
I have to apologise again for not keeping up my blog!
I feel especially sorry for you - Simon, who is forced to the role of an "one-man-band".
It's nobodies fault really, I suppose, because I applied for this blog as early as April and hoped to use it as a preparation tool for the course I'm attending now.
It's pretty much half time and looking ahead I must say, I doubt that my course will allow me enough extra time for other obligations like writing this blog.
So, it would be sensible to take me off and give the person next in line a chance!
Well - let's me report how my course is going!?
My first teaching practice was on Thursday and it went better than the micro teaching session (teaching to your fellow trainees).
I was actually less nervous, which isn't really surprising because I was in a situation were my students knew less English than me (their teacher) while in the micro teaching session the teacher (me) knew less English than the "students" (my fellow trainees).
I think I was able to build a rapport to the students, to engage them in the task (a role play) and respond to their needs. My planning was flexible enough to allow me a good time-management.
I still have to improve on my voice (to speak clearer and slower) and I also made some mistake how I used the English language.
That is actually my main concern: Am I a confident enough English speaker to teach English to foreign students?
Back in Germany I thought my English is pretty good! But I compared myself with other Germans, of course!
Now the bar is much higher - I compare myself to native speaker and think my English is actually pretty lousy!
Then I ask myself - why did they accept me to this course in the first place?
Wouldn't it be fairer to say - sorry your English is not good enough to teach it to foreign students.
I would have been disappointed at first, of course! But now I've to find it out the hard way, which is even tougher!
Simon - that's exactly the point where your metaphor error=learning opportunity doesn't work!
One can argue that four weeks aren't long enough to become an English teacher. But they are certainly NOT long enough to become a perfect English speaker.
To boil it down to one sentence: I can't concentrate on good teaching and good English at the same time yet!
So, I'll continue to use incorrect English in the classroom. I feel sorry for my students but, however, I hope I can help them somehow to improve their English.
My second concern is my level of energy. I don't think that's a specific problem of mine. By Thursday morning everyone in my class had black rings around their eyes and talking to my fellow-trainees confirmed that observation.
On Friday I was so tired even a long cold shower was unable to make me feel awake. Yesterday (on Saturday) I just walked around like a brain dead zombie and I was suppose to come up with creative ideas for my next teaching practice which is tomorrow (on Monday).
I just wrote an email to my course director telling him, how I feel about the physical limits of my mental energy (being 39 certainly doesn't help). I had to write my report within three hours on Friday evening, at the end of a very exhausting week.
I don't see that the coming weeks will be less demanding - quite the opposite!
Instead of just one teaching practice, there will be two per week and the number of reports also continues to increase.
Funny enough - I don't want to be the one who is declaring defeat (that's a matter of self-respect). I would rather them telling me "Sorry we made a mistake in accepting you to this course - you are simple not good enough!".
Well - maybe I worry to much... but this is certainly no holidays!
Best wishes for everyone!
Bye
Marvin
Comments
hmmm.. I'm sorry I shouldn't write anything before read it. It's another surprise and I had to turn on my computer again. Think about it Marvin one more time please, maybe next days won't be so hard and you will be able to continue your blog Bye, hope to see you again
Hi Marvin, how are you doing, pal? I hope you are fine. You sounded a little stressed out with the training course. You don't have to be. Everything you said about your english using skills is not right. You should know that your english is quite good. And your students will be very fortunate to have you as their teacher. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are certainly going to do very well in your training. And don't say that thing of abandoning the blog again. I'm sure you would make all of us your readers very sad if you did that. Ah, as for you being 39. Come on you're just a boy. See you more soon, Bye,bye.
Marvin, please don't be so depressed and don't feel bad about you. I think that if they chose you was because you aren't bad at all. They surely have experience in selecting future teachers, so relax. Hope everything go well in the end. Best wishes, Cris
If you go over your work carefully, you'll wake up to what is going on: 1) you're sharpening your English up by using it in a classroom, that is the same context in which you are going to use it as a teacher; 2) you 're carving out a general frame in which you are getting your entire pool of skills together; 3) you 're picking up a lot of useful routines ready to be used in this same course or later on (luckily, the teaching process doesn't require a brand new teacher Monday through Sunday). On the other hand we have to smooth over the very problem: Marvin. You are very tired but less depressed. Your ideas are clear and creative. Your weaknesses are being singled out by yourself. A suggestion: Maybe you don't need to become a good English speaker. Maybe you have to become something different: an English teacher.
Hey Marvin! If you´re accepted to take this course it´s beacuse you have a good gasp of English. Therefore you have the skills to keep up with the tough CELT studies routine. You´ll do fine. Don´t worry :-). Best wishes, Ana Paula.
!Wow Marvin¡ I feel some depression signs in your post. I really expect to be wrong about that. Maybe you are just suffering the initial shock, and in a few days you'll be quite more confident than now. Since my English is by far poorer than yours I can't help you in any practical way. But I can send you good vibrations and shout ¡Marvin, Marvin, don't give up!
Hi again Marvin ! mmm maybe I shouldn't bother to make this comment 'cause chances are you aren't going to read it haha.....but I will just in case. I'm a university student so I know exactly how it feels like to be full of responsabilities. But from your blog I can tell you're underestimating yourself.Come on Marvin! where did your optimism go? Maybe you should talk with your fellow trainees about this because I dont htink you're the only one feeling like you do. And whenever you have free time (besides doing homework) you shoud get out and distract your mind. Take care and keep us updated with your course! Liz
Dear Marvin, I am a new blogger for you, but old cutomer for this blog. I have showed up here after a long time. I read all your blogs which were interesting. Marvin, when you learn anything , it will be difficult at the start, then it will be all right ,if you study hard in timely manner.Besides that Your CELT cours is very rapid and demanding course.The instrctor has to train you all in four weeks of time. It is difficult for instrctor too. Marvin, don't underestimate yourself,your english language skil is quite good. you will overcome your difficulties to reach your goal.I know it is difficult without any rest you have to a lot of mental work and
Hey Marvin! Where has gone your enthusiasm? It's not like you...what's come over you? Just a bit of tiredness and you're likely to put too much pressure on yourself. I trust you, you are going to stick it out. Laters. Bear up!!!!
“Come what come may, time and hour runs through the roughest day” – William Shakespeare – Macbeth... that is to say: Keep at it!
Hi,Marbin All I want to say is that you must keep your chin up and believe in yourself. Don’t let the doubt that you’ve been asking yourself kill your confidence and you have to try hard to raise your spirit. I think you are almost there and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. Your friends in many different countries love your bravery and challenge and they have been backing you all the time, therefore we like you to achieve your goal successfully. Dear friend, Marbin please don’t feel upset by giving up the student blog. But you must promise that you’ll come back one day and share your experience with us. We wish you all the best luck.
Oh Marvin...It's a same but I understand you. I hope that you could be the student blogger another month. My best wishes.
Dear Marvin, Hope you can read this one. Frankly, the way you write in this blog has made the readers improving their english...including me... therefore I wrote in earlier comment in your 1st blog, you should be in teacher blog instead of student one. Don't be so hard on yourself. Certificate is only a paper and doesn't mean anything if you don't have desire to teach. I have met many people who is able to speak english fluently but it is really rare to meet good english speaker who is able to transfer their knowledge to others. I suppose you the rare one. Let's back to our old days, is our teacher more clever than us?. What I am trying to say is, we don't need to be the most clever one in order to be good teacher...Good luck and keep your faith..
Marvin, my tutor on the CELTA told me in the second week that it looked like I would fail. I kept going and pulled it out the bag. That you have come this far is testament to your ability. Don't worry about passing or failing at this point. Just do the best you can and whatever happens in the end, you will have had some very good training that you could not get through any other course. Jobs arise with or without the certificate. Your self confidence and willingness to learn are the most important things here! Good luck man and take care!
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