Granny’s Hip Replacement

by Xuki Viner

Granny used to work for the Government and do lots of secret, exciting things (which she wasn't allowed to talk about). She still liked to do exciting things but after base-jumping off the Gherkin in London Granny realised she had broken her hip. Her grandchildren, Shearer and Reginald, had to take her whining and grumbling to hospital.

Not being active made Granny miserable at the best of times but being in hospital made her unbearable!

Back at home in Granny's flat she told her grandchildren that she had been given a golden hip replacement. Shearer and Reginald did not believe her until Granny showed them a note from the hospital doctor saying it was made of 24 carat gold. Shearer and Reginal were amazed and couldn't wait to tell their school friends.

At school the following Monday morning the two children told their friends of Granny's adventure and new hip made of gold. They did not realise that the new supply teacher, Mr Mumble, was listening too. When Mr Mumble wasn't teaching he was a robber.

That day after school Mr Mumble followed the children and their Granny to the park. He wanted to steal her golden hip.

Hiding in a wheelie-bin he waited until Granny walked past and then somersaulted out and grabbed her, quickly popping her in the wheelie-bin and, skidding and slipping, wheeled her back to his rubbish-truck hideout.

You would have thought that Granny would have been scared but she wasn't. She had a secret...

Back at his hideout Mr Mumble harshly tipped Granny out of the bin and in a squeaky voice said "I'm going to take your golden hip, like it or not, and use the money to buy the biggest jelly-bean on earth."

Granny thought that was a bit odd, if she had a lot of money she would have spent it on an aeroplane.

Back at the park after finishing on the play equipment Shearer and Reginal realised that Granny was missing. Being clever children, they immediately knew she had been kidnapped. They searched everywhere, high and low, but could not find her. They were exhausted with looking so munched a packet of Quavers for energy. When they went to throw the wrapper away they noticed that the wheelie-bin they had seen earlier had disappeared and that there was a trail of rubbish leading to a rubbish-truck - Granny must be inside, they thought.

They rushed to the rubbish truck and saw that Granny had been captured by Mr Mumble the supply teacher. Mr Mumble was on one knee and looked like he was asking Granny to marry him but when they looked more closely they could see that he was really trying to pull her leg off.

It was time for Granny's secret surprise. Not only was her hip golden, it was also fitted with lasers! She looked Mr Mumble in the eye and then shot him into space. Granny turned to her grandchildren and winked "Don't tell your parents."