King Onion – A Legend Is Born!

by Nate Mackereth

Once upon a time, on a farm far away, lived a very ordinary spring onion in a vegetable patch. One dark, scary night, an alien spaceship floated above the vegetable patch because the alien was giving the ship a rest because the alien needed to charge the ship's batteries. The alien sat next to the control panel to have a drink - iggle oggle (slime in coke) - but he spilt it on the control panel and the ship automatically zapped the spring onion with a beaming laser. "Oh no!" the alien sighed as the spaceship zapped the spring onion. But, without warning, the laser brought the spring onion to life! The spring onion blasted out of the ground and sits upon his white/green bottom and sees stars before his eyes - he can see, he is alive! The spring onion sees the farmer dressed as Elvis Presley and singing Elvis Presley songs. Then the spring onion peels off a bit of his outer skin to look like Elvis Presley's giant collar.

The next morning, the spring onion looked at his reflection in a shiny shovel, and the spring onion decides to be king of the farm and rock and roll - King Onion is born! So King Onion checks on the farm every morning and every night and they're all growing - except the farmer! - even King Onion is! Looking after the farm was hard work so King Onion decided to build a palace out of mud and straw. Suddenly, King Onion realised he had nothing to sit on so he rushed out of the palace to get some wood and built a throne.

The next day, King Onion woke up and found a silver, slimy trail around his palace. So he bravely followed it and came face to face with a killer slug munching on the vegetables! King Onion tried to scare it away with some powerful karate kicks but it doesn't work. King Onion tries everything to defeat it but nothing is working. King Onion starts singing King Onion hits like 'Can't help falling in love with stew' and 'Love me tenderleaf' and the killer slug slithers away because it was scared of the music. From that day on, the killer slug was never seen again. King Onion, the legend, was born!

So he spends his days getting food from the farmer's house for the animals and giving the vegetables water and sings King Onion hits and makes the animals delighted. That night, he invites all of the animals to his palace and they all enjoyed dancing to 'do the conga' and 'despacito', and they all lived happily ever after.