Mrs Biggin-Bottom

by Isabelle Williams

*Wildcard Entry*

My Teacher, Mrs Biggin-bottom has an appropriate name. She is utterly bonkers in what she wears, floral shirts and stripy trousers, spotty shorts and woollen tights, no outfit is ever the same. She has black hair with strips of her favourite colour blue and green glasses. She'd also, always pin her favourite chocolate snack onto her blouse. She said, it was in case she was ever in a pickle and got hungry. She was fun! Probably my favourite teacher.

What Mrs Biggin-bottom doesn't know, as she could never see it, was that she had a gigantic BOTTOM.

**Bottom Alert!** -

In PE, we were balancing on the bench in gymnastics. She came along, sat down
and CRUNCH.

The bench snapped. The class went flying. Fred 's legs were wrapped around Monty's neck while poor Olivia landed on top of Connie, who is the smallest in my class.

**Bottom Alert!**

An in History, she wobbled the Clifton Suspension bridge so much while we walked over it that Mille was sick!

It was just an ordinary December. I had maths and PE. It was lunch time, when the day changed.

I was sitting in the hall having my lunch, with my class. All of the doors and windows were shut to keep the cold out. I had just sat down to start my chocolate sponge pudding, which I love, when there was this almighty BANG!

The hatch where our lunch is passed through from the kitchen was gushing out water. Not just a trickle....it was flooding out. The main water pipe had burst.

I've never seen so much water appear so quickly.

The room was filling up fast. Ankle height, knee height. Plates were bobbing, book bags were soggy and the reception kids were starting to swim.

As the water got higher I climbed onto the table. The situation was getting serious.

It was then I saw Mrs Biggin-bottom go to work. Wadding through the water she turned her back and reversed towards the hole.

I couldn't help but stare... and I honestly think I heard, beep...beep...beep...beep, ring out, as though she was a lorry reversing!

Thuwarp. Gurgle. Thud.

The water stopped.

Mrs Biggin-bottom had plugged the hole with...her bottom!

Bottom Alert! Mrs Biggin-bottom had saved lunch time!

Everyone started to clap and sing.

'Let's give three cheers

For Mrs Biggin-Bottoms...Rear!'

As the water trickled away Mrs Biggin-Bottom was left plugging the hole with her 'winning' bottom, watching the fireman and plumbers clear the room around her while they fixed the leak.

It had been an eventful day and for many of us we had missed lunch and our tummies were rumbling. But Mrs Biggin-Bottom wasn't hungry. As she sat awkwardly in the hole she was munching away and looked quite comfortable. She was eating her favourite chocolate snack, the one she kept pinned to the front of her blouse in case she was ever in a pickle and hungry, which today, I guess she was!