Ese koko abagore ni bo bagira impuhwe cyane kurusha abagabo?

Ubushakashatsi bwo muri siyansi burimo gusenya imyumvire ya kera ishingiye ku gitsina ku bijyanye n'impuhwe (empathy), ndetse bukanatanga indi nzira nshya yo gutekereza ku cyo bivuze kuba umugabo.

Mu 1705, umufilozoye Mary Astell yanditse ko iyo abagore bakoze ibikorwa bikomeye, abantu bibeshyaga bakavuga bati: "Si abagore babikoze, ahubwo ni abagabo bambaye amajipo!" Ndetse n'Umwamikazi Elizabeth I yigeze kuvuga ko azategeka igihugu nk'umwami, nubwo afite umubiri w'"umugore woroshye", nkaho gutegeka byagombaga kuba inzira yihariwe n'abagabo.

Nubwo izo ngero ari iz'ahashize, imyumvire yihishe ishingiye ku kubogamira ku gitsina runaka nk'igisobanuro cyo kugera ku ntego no kugira ububasha, iracyahari kugeza n'ubu.

Akenshi turacyafata imico y'impuhwe nk'iy'abagore mu miterere yabo kavukire, naho imico yo gutegeka, kwihagararaho no kugira ijambo rikomeye tukayita iy'abagabo. Ndetse n'iyo umugabo n'umugore bitwaye kimwe, umugabo bamubona nk'uwihagazeho, mu gihe umugore bamwita umunyamahane.

Kimwe mu bintu bikunze gushyirwa mu byiciro by'igitsina muri ubwo buryo ni impuhwe. Bikunze kuvugwa ko abagore ari bo bavukanye impuhwe nyinshi, mu gihe abagabo bagaragaza impuhwe bakunze kubonwa nk'abanyantege nke.

Ariko se kuki bimeze bityo? Ese koko abagore bavukana impuhwe nyinshi kurusha abagabo, cyangwa ni uko tubyigishwa kandi tukabitozwa n'imibereho?

Imyumvire nk'iyi ishingiye ku gitsina igira ingaruka zigaragara kuburyo turera abana bacu, ku muco w'aho dukorera no ku buyobozi. Ariko ikitigaragaza cyane ni ukuntu uku kubogama gutangira kare cyane, n'ukuntu iyo myumvire ikocamye (stereotypes) ishimangira ibyo twiteze, bigashyira imbogamizi zikomeye ku kuntu twiteze ko abandi bitwara.

Imisemburo ishingiyeho kugira impuhwe

Impuhwe (empathy) zirimo ubushobozi bwo gusobanukirwa ibitekerezo n'amarangamutima by'abandi, bikadufasha kubasubiza mu buryo bukwiye.

Zishobora no gusobanurwa mu byiciro bibiri: impuhwe zishingiye ku bitekerezo (cognitive empathy), ni ubushobozi bwo kumenya no gusobanukirwa amarangamutima y'abandi no kwishyira mu mwanya wabo.

N'impuhwe zishingiye ku marangamutima (affective/emotional empathy), aho tugira igisubizo cy'amarangamutima ku byo undi atekereza cyangwa yiyumvamo.

Abashakashatsi bakoresha uburyo butandukanye bwo gupima impuhwe mu buryo bwa siyansi, burimo nk'ibibazo byo mu nyandiko (questionnaires) n'ibikorwa byo kugerageza (experiential tasks).

Kandi hashize igihe bigaragaye ko, muri rusange, abagore bakunze kubona amanota menshi cyane kurusha abagabo muri ibi bipimo.

Simon Baron-Cohen, inzobere mu by'imitekerereze (clinical psychologist) wo kuri Kaminuza ya Cambridge mu Bwongereza, avuga ko impamvu ari uko ubwonko bw'umugore "bwakorewe cyane ku mpuhwe kuva akivuka (predominantly hard-wired for empathy)", bigatuma abagore bashobora cyane inshingano zo kwita no kwitaho abandi, mu gihe ubwonko bw'umugabo "bwakorewe cyane ku gusobanukirwa no kubaka sisitemu (understanding and building systems)".

Nubwo ibintu byo mu mibereho (social factors) bigira uruhare runini mu guteza imbere impuhwe, Baron-Cohen avuga ko ubushakashatsi bwe bwerekana ko imisemburo umwana ahura na yo akiri mu nda y'umubyeyi igira uruhare mu mikurire ye y'imibanire ye n'abandi.

Ubushakashatsi bwe bwo mu 2006 bwakorewe ku bana barenga 200 bari hagati y'imyaka 6 na 9, bwagaragaje ko urugero rw'umusemburo wa 'testosterone' mu mazi azengurutse umwana ukiri mu nda (amniotic fluid), ruba ruri hejuru ku bahungu kurusha abakobwa kandi ko ruba rufitanye isano itaziguye n'uko abo bana bitwara mu bizamini byo gupima ubushobozi bwo gusesengura no kumenya amategeko cyangwa imiterere (systemising) yabo.

Mu by'ukuri, uko guhura kw'umwana na 'testosterone' akiri mu nda, byagaragaye ko bigira uruhare rukomeye cyane mu manota umwana abona mu ibazwa, kurusha igitsina cye ubwacyo.

Ubushakashatsi bwo mu 2007 busa n'ubwo na bwo bwerekanye ko guhura kw'umwana na 'testosterone' akiri urusoro, byajyanaga no kugabanuka kw'amanota mu bizamini byo gupima impuhwe.

Baron-Cohen agira ati: "Ikigaragara neza ni uko ikintu nk'impuhwe cyangwa 'systemising' ari urusobe rukubiyemo ibintu byo mu rwego rw'ibinyabuzima n'iby'imibereho y'abantu (a complex mix of biology and social factors)."

Ese kugira impuhwe biri mu turemangingo fatizo (genes)?

Abashakashatsi benshi bandi, barimo umuhanga mu by'imikorere y'ubwonko Gina Rippon, babona ko igitekerezo cy'uko imisemburo ariyo ituma abagore barusha abagabo impuhwe gifite ikibazo.

Rippon agira ati: "Igitekerezo kivuga ko abagore bose bavukana impuhwe nyinshi cyane kiri mu bikomeje gutiza umurindi 'ibivugwa bidafite ishingiro by'ubwonko bw'umugore' ('female brain myth')."

Yongeraho ko ubwonko bw'abana bato "bwitabira cyane ibibakikije", bityo ibidukikije bikagira uruhare rukomeye mu mibereho n'imitekerereze yabo.

Mu bushakashatsi bumwe bw'inkomarume (ngenderwaho) bwagaragaje itandukaniro rishingiye ku gitsina mu bikorwa by'impuhwe, itandukaniro ryabonetse ntiryari rinini.

Muri ubwo bushakashatsi, abagore bagaragaje impuhwe nyinshi kurusha abagabo mu bihugu 36 muri 57 byakorewemo ubushakashatsi, ariko mu bihugu 21 amanota (ibisubizo) yarasaga cyane. Abakoze ubwo bushakashatsi bagize bati: "Ntidushobora kwemeza intandaro y'iryo tandukaniro."

Nubwo muri rusange ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko abagore babona amanota menshi ho gato mu bipimo by'impuhwe, itandukaniro riri hagati y'abantu bo mu gitsina kimwe riba rinini cyane kurusha iriri hagati y'abagore n'abagabo.

Rippon agira ati: "Iyo urebye uko amanota y'impuhwe atandukanye mu bagabo cyangwa mu bagore ubwabo, usanga harimo intera nini cyane."

'Kimwe cya cumi gusa cy'itandukaniro ry'impuhwe hagati y'abantu gishingira ku turemangingo fatizo' – Varun Warrier

Akenshi bivugwa ko abakobwa n'abagore baba barushijeho kwita ku maso y'abandi bantu, kikaba ari ikintu cy'ingenzi mu bituma umuntu agira impuhwe.

Ariko ubushakashatsi bunyuranye bugaragaza ibisubizo bidahuye, ndetse n'ubushakashatsi buherutse gukorwa bwumvikanisha ko iyo myitwarire atari iya kavukire.

Isesengura rusange (meta-analysis) ryatangajwe mu 2025 ryasuzumye ubushakashatsi 31 burimo amagerageza 40 atandukanye.

Ayo magerageza yasuzumye uko abana b'ukwezi kumwe b'abakobwa n'abahungu barebaga mu maso h'abandi, niba barariraga iyo abandi barize, n'uko bitabiraga (batahuraga) ibibakikije.

Muri ibyo bipimo byose, nta tandukaniro ryagaragaye hagati y'abakobwa n'abahungu ku bijyanye no kumva no kwita ku marangamutima y'abandi.

Nanone kandi, ubushakashatsi bunini bwakozwe ku mpuhwe mu 2018, bwakorewe ku bantu barenga 46,000 basubije ibibazo kandi bagatanga n'uturemangingo fatizo twabo (DNA), bwumvikanishije ko uturemangingo fatizo tugira uruhare rwose ku rugero rw'impuhwe umuntu agira.

Gusa, nta na kamwe muri utwo turemangingo fatizo kagaragaye ko gafitanye isano n'igitsina cy'umuntu.

Varun Warrier, umwarimu mukuru wungirije (assistant professor) ku bushakashatsi ku mikurire y'ubwonko wo kuri Kaminuza ya Cambridge, icyo gihe yasobanuye agira ati:

"Kubera ko kimwe cya cumi [10%] gusa cy'itandukaniro ry'impuhwe hagati y'abantu gishingira ku turemangingo fatizo, ni ingenzi cyane gusobanukirwa n'izindi mpamvu zitari iz'uturemangingo."

Ibi bisobanuye ko ibidukikije umuntu akuriramo, n'aho aba, bigira uruhare mu buryo agaragaza impuhwe no kumva abandi, ndetse no kwishyira mu mwanya wabo.

Uburyo impuhwe zigishirizwa mu muryango n'aho umuntu ahurira n'abandi

Abagore bakunze kugaragaza impuhwe n'amarangamutima cyane kurusha abagabo, ariko si ukubera ko ibyo baba barabivukanye.

Abashakashatsi benshi bagaragaza ko ahubwo biterwa n'uburyo abakobwa n'abagore barerwa, bakigishwa kuva bakiri bato kugaragaza amarangamutima no gushyira imbere inyungu z'abandi.

Kuva mu bwana, abakobwa bakunze guhabwa ibikinisho bibatoza ubumenyi bwo koroshya, kwita ku bandi no kurangwa n'ineza, mu gihe abahungu bo bashishikarizwa gukina n'ibikinisho bikomeye, nk'imodoka n'ibikoresho by'ubwubatsi.

Umushakashatsi Rippon agira ati: "Abakobwa bato bigishwa kuba beza [mu myifatire], kutarangwa n'urugomo cyangwa gukinana imbaraga nyinshi, bityo uko bakura bikagenda bibabamo nk'imico ibaranga."

Ubushakashatsi bwinshi kandi bwerekanye ko imbaraga zigoreka (zangiza) impuhwe zacu zikanakumira ubushobozi bwo kwishyira mu mwanya w'abandi no kumva amarangamutima yabo.

Mu gitabo cyanjye (Melissa Hogenboom) cyitwa Breadwinners, nasobanuye igitekerezo kivuga ko kuba, mu mateka, abagabo baragiye bagira ububasha burenze ubw'abagore, kandi bikaba bikigaragara mu nzego z'ubucuruzi na politike, bituma rero bishoboka cyane ko bashobora kugira impuhwe nke.

Ku rundi ruhande, abantu bafite ubushobozi bucye mu by'ubukungu (amafaranga) cyangwa bo ku rwego rwo hasi mu mibereho, byagaragaye ko basobanukirwa cyane amarangamutima y'abandi kurusha abafite ayo mikoro.

Urugero, hari ubushakashatsi bumwe bwagaragaje ko abantu bumva bari ku rwego rwo hasi mu mibereho, bafite amikoro macye cyangwa bakomoka mu matsinda afatwa nk'ari ku rwego rwo hasi, baba bafite ubushobozi bwo kumenya no gusobanukirwa amarangamutima y'abandi.

Bityo rero, kuba abagore bakunze kugira amanota menshi cyane mu bipimo by'impuhwe, bishobora guterwa no gushaka gushishoza cyane (kuba maso cyane) ku banyembaraga, hakiyongeraho no kuba na bo ubwabo nta mbaraga bafite ugereranyije n'abagabo.

Impuhwe ni umuco ushobora kwigishwa no gukura

By'ingenzi cyane, kugira impuhwe ni ikintu umuntu ashobora kwiga, akagitozwa ndetse kikanakura nk'uko bivugwa na Nathan Spreng, inzobere mu bijyanye n'imikorere y'ubwonko wigisha kuri Kaminuza ya McGill, mu mujyi wa Montréal, mu ntara ya Québec, muri Canada.

Mu kiganiro yagiranye na 'The Documentary Podcast' ya BBC, Spreng yagize ati:

"Iyo tumaze gusobanukirwa ko amarangamutima agira intera zitandukanye, dushobora kuyitaho, tukiga kumenya amarangamutima y'abandi no kunoza impuhwe zacu. Impuhwe si ikintu gihagaze aho; ni ubushobozi buhinduka kandi bukura mu buzima bwose."

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe mu 2023 ku mikorere y'ubwonko bugaragaza neza ko ubwonko bw'abagore n'abagabo busubiza mu buryo busa cyane iyo beretswe amafoto agaragaza ububabare cyangwa isura idafite amarangamutima.

Ariko aho abitabiriye ubushakashatsi basabwaga kuzuza ibibazo bipima urwego rw'impuhwe bumva bafite, abagabo bagaragaye babona amanota macye ugereranyije n'abagore muri rusange, keretse gusa igihe babanje kubwirwa ko bashobora gutsinda neza.

Mu itsinda ry'abagabo babanje guhabwa amakuru abashishikariza ko "abagabo na bo basanzwe bashoboye gusangira no kwita ku byiyumviro by'abandi n'amarangamutima yabo," itandukaniro ryari rishingiye ku gitsina mu by'impuhwe ryarazimiye.

Ibi byagaragaje ko ubushakashatsi bushingiye ku byo abantu bavuga ku mpuhwe zabo bushobora kuvangwamo n'ingaruka z'imyumvire bwite n'iz'imibereho rusange.

Binashimangira igitekerezo cy'uko ibyo umuntu yiteze (kwitega kugera ku kintu runaka) n'impamvu zimutera kugira impuhwe, bigira uruhare rukomeye mu rugero rw'impuhwe agaragaza.

Umushakashatsi Gina Rippon avuga ko mu bushakashatsi nk'ubu, "abagore bakunda kugaragara nk'abafite impuhwe nyinshi iyo bazi ko barimo gusuzumwa ku bijyanye na zo".

"Impuhwe ni umuco wemewe kandi ushimwa mu muryango, bityo bifuza kubona amanota menshi."

Ubushakashatsi bumwe bwagaragaje ko abagore barusha amanota abagabo mu kumenya neza ibyiyumviro n'amarangamutima by'abandi, gusa iyo babanje gusabwa kuvuga uko biyumva muri bo. Iyo batabibwiwe mbere, nta tandukaniro rigaragara hagati y'abagabo n'abagore.

Ikindi kandi, igihe abashakashatsi bahaga abitabiriye ubushakashatsi ibihembo by'amafaranga kugira ngo basobanukirwe neza amarangamutima y'abandi, bose, yaba abagabo cyangwa abagore, barushagaho kubigeraho neza.

Ibi byerekanye ko abantu bashobora kwiga kugira impuhwe mu buryo bworoshye iyo babifitemo inyungu.

Sara Hodges, inzobere mu by'imitekerereze n'imyifatire ya muntu (psychologist), wigisha kuri Kaminuza ya Oregon muri Amerika, akaba umwe mu bakoze ubwo bushakashatsi, asobanura ko kuba abagore bashobora kugaragaza impuhwe zisumbuyeho atari ngombwa ko biterwa n'impano kavukire, ahubwo bishobora guterwa n'uko bashishikarizwa kuzigaragaza bitewe n'imyumvire y'ibyo umuryango uba ubitezeho.

Hodges asaba ko impuhwe zidakwiye gufatwa nk'impano idahinduka ifite abo igenewe, ahubwo zikwiye kurebwa nk'igikorwa gishingiye ku makuru menshi atandukanye, nk'imvugo y'umubiri cyangwa imyifatire yo ku mubiri itanga ubutumwa runaka (body language), amagambo, imyumvire ikocamye (stereotypes), ubunararibonye bwite n'ibiganiro byabayeho mbere.

Aravuga ati: "Iyo umuntu afite ubushake bwo kumenya icyo undi atekereza cyangwa yumva [yiyumvamo], akoresha amasoko menshi amufasha guhuza amakuru kugira ngo abyubake neza."

Ingaruka zikomeye zo kubogama bitewe n'impuhwe n'amarangamutima

Icyo abantu batavugaho kenshi, nk'uko Hodges abivuga, ni uko kugirira impuhwe (empathy) abandi no kwishyira mu mwanya wabo, atari gusa ubumenyi bworoheje bukoreshwa ku bw'ineza.

Bishobora no gukoreshwa mu kuyobya cyangwa kujijisha abandi. Hodges ati: "Urugero, mu biganiro byo kuganira ku masezerano, niba uzi ingingo nyamukuru y'undi, uba uri umunyamwuga mwiza mu biganiro."

Ariko, amaherezo ingaruka z'ibyifuzo bijyanye no kugira impuhwe n'ubundi bushobozi bw'amarangamutima, bishobora gutera ubusumbane mu muryango no kugira ingaruka zikomeye ku bagore n'abagabo.

Abagore barebwa nk'abafite amahirwe macye yo kugira ubushobozi bwo kuyobora ugereranyije n'abagabo, kuko abantu bakunze kubona abayobozi nk'abacyeneye kugaragaza imbaraga no gukomera, ibyo bikaba ari ibimenyetso bisanzwe bihuzwa cyane n'abagabo.

Ku rundi ruhande, mu bijyanye no kwigunga, abagore bakunze gushaka inkunga mu muryango wabo cyangwa inshuti zabo kurusha abagabo. Kwigunga, mu gihe bitakwitabwaho, ni kimwe mu bintu bizwi ko byongera ibyago byo kwiyahura, kandi urugero rw'abagabo biyahura ruri hejuru cyane.

Amahirwe ni uko imvugo ku kamaro k'ubumenyi bw'amarangamutima mu bagore n'abagabo, igenda ihinduka gahoro gahoro, harimo n'akamaro ko kugirira impuhwe abandi no gufata inshingano zo kwita ku bandi, nkuko bivugwa na Niall Hanlon, inzobere mu mibanire y'abantu (sociologist), wigisha kuri Kaminuza ya Technological University Dublin, muri Ireland.

Hanlon ati: "Muri rusange, abagabo n'abahungu batozwa kutabona kwita ku bandi nk'uko abagore n'abakobwa babibona, ko bitari mu nzira iganisha ku kuba umugabo."

"[Ni byo] Rwose bitekereza ubwabo ko ari ba data, ariko ntibitege ko bazaba mu mwanya w'ibanze mu kwita ku muryango."

Ariko, sosiyete iri gutera intambwe kugira ngo abagabo benshi bashobore kwishimira inshingano zo kwita ku bandi no kugaragaza impuhwe.

Ubu, kurusha uko byahoze kera, abagabo barimo kugenda bamara igihe kinini bari kumwe n'abana, ndetse bavuga ko bifuza kumara igihe kinini bari kumwe n'umuryango wabo (nubwo abagore ari bo bagikora cyane imirimo yo mu rugo nko kwita ku bana).

Akazi karimo gukorwa mu gusubiramo imyumvire y'ukuntu abagabo bakwita ku bandi bantu kurushaho kandi bakagira impuhwe kurushaho, kazacira inzira gushyiraho imyumvire mishya ku cyo kuba umugabo (masculinity) bivuze, kandi ishobora gufasha mu gukumira kwigunga no kwihererana ibyabo, nkuko Hanlon abivuga.

Iyo myumvire mishya yibanda ku kuba abantu ba magirirane no ku kugira impuhwe, aho kuba abantu bibanda ku kwigenga n'imbaraga.

Hanlon agira ati: "Hari ubushakashatsi bwinshi bugaragaza ko ibi ari byo byiza cyane."

"Ku bagabo, ku bagore no ku bana."

* Melissa Hogenboom ni umunyamakuru wa BBC ku nkuru z'ubuzima akaba n'umwanditsi w'ibitabo, icyitwa the Breadwinners (cyasohotse mu 2025) na The Motherhood Complex.