Who needs Majorca?

Divorcee Paul is known as Mr Orange by his mates and has even painted his house in the Hatters' colours of orange and blue.

The return flight cost him �100, but he ended up quids in after winning �500 from a bet on the result.

Looks like he'll be flying first class for Saturday's game with Notts County, then.

Home glum

A man has been awarded nearly �50,000 compensation for the inconvenience of living next to a baseball field.

E.S. Armstrong complained that there was too much noise and the floodlights were too bright at the ground near his home in Houston, Texas.

He also claimed that baseballs had twice come crashing through his bedroom window.

Armstrong was awarded �25,700 for loss of use of his property, �16,000 for mental anguish and �6,400 for loss of enjoyment of his property.

Maybe he should consider buying a house near the North Bank stand of Arsenal football club. He'd never hear a thing.

Lord's share

Lord Archer has forked out �1,000 to recreate the home of cricket in his back garden.

It's turf being inside

The disgraced peer ordered the cash to be spent on 100sq ft of turf from the Lord's cricket ground.

The grass is being sold off to raise money for a �1m drainage system at the ground in St John's Wood, London.

Lord Archer's turf will be relaid in the garden of his Cambridgeshire home.

Unfortunately, he won't be able to reap the benefits until he's freed from his four-year prison term for perjury.

It just shows the grass is always greener on the other side.