I’m A Boy

by Daisy Moody

*Wildcard Entry*

"Oi, Adam! Come over here!" called Mason from across the corridor, giving an aggressive hand signal, meaning he didn't want to be kept waiting. I moved hesitantly towards him, while my head was self-consciously tilted 90 degrees downwards, staring directly at my feet. As soon as I was within reach, he knocked my chin sharply upwards so that I was gazing straight into his face. "Is that... mascara?" he asked in a mocking tone, raising his eyebrow along with his voice, so others could hear the conversation, "that's for girls. Are you a girl?" He shoved me slightly and people gathering around us began to snigger and point.

"Leave me alone." I mumbled, as I jerked my body through the familiar laughing crowd of classmates. I could feel their judging eyes behind me; staring at me like I wasn't human. Once I had rounded the corner of the hallway, I rushed clumsily to the back field where I stopped behind a bush. There, I sat down and let my tears fall until I was empty of all emotion.

After a few minutes, I took out my phone and held it in front of my blotchy face. I looked at my hair, my face, my eyes, my clothes. Everything was wrong. I've always wanted to have wavy, blonde hair which I could put neatly in a ponytail, not short and black, and I'd love to have beautiful dangly earrings just like my sister's. I want to wear delicate, lacy dresses and high heels. I want to paint my nails too, but the first time I tried, Mason pushed me against the wall and called me a 'freak'.

I'm so confused: I don't know who I am. There are so many labels, but they don't feel right to me. But then again, society wants us to believe that boys can be themselves and wear dresses and make-up naturally, but in reality, we can't. I feel like I'm trapped inside my own body. The wrong body.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot something hanging underneath a leaf. I stand up and move closer towards it. I realised that it was a cocoon. A cocoon that was gently swaying.

I bent down slowly and leaned closer to spot the curled head of a beautiful butterfly trying to escape: it seemed to struggle as the cocoon pulsed in and out, in and out, like a beating heart. I watched intently as the butterfly's antennae emerged. I could sense the butterfly's determination and yearning for the escape and freedom into its new life. Finally, after what seemed like a life-time, the butterfly slipped freely from its tight bandage, opening vibrant red and black wings. A totally new insect to the caterpillar it had once been, yet still the same creature.Then, without warning, it took off into the sky. It was then that I realised what I had to do.

Hi, I'm Adam and I want to be a girl.