The Teeth Exchange

by Rivie Bates

"Morning Brenda,"

"Oh good morning Louise," said the old dear to her nurse. She was in a hospital with many other old grannies being woken by their nurses. It was a bright blue day outside with the flowers blooming happily. A new woman walked in, looking rather shy while shuffling over to her bed. "Everyone, this is Wendy,"

"Morning," the old dears mumbled.

A little while later, it was time for their midday nap. "I don't want to nap!" snapped Wendy, "I want the toilet and no I don't need any assistance I'm an independent woman y'know." The nurses suddenly left as a waft of beef stew floated in. The old dears took their teeth out and quickly drifted off to sleep. It was time for Wendy's plan; she didn't need the toilet she just said that to get rid of the nurses. Slowly, Wendy crept round each bed, switching their teeth, when suddenly Brenda started to stir. Quickly, Wendy rushed back to her bed and pretended to be reading.

" These don't feel right," said Brenda slotting her pair of teeth in before they popped out and shot across the room. " Neither do these," said Mildred, while her tiny teeth were swishing about in her mouth. "My grandchildren were right, I think I've shrunk," said Gladys biting her nails with her ginormous teeth and a worried expression on her face, "After my next nap I'll be the size of a prune!" she exclaimed. "Actually," said the rough and tumble Bertha, "These teeth are rather good at chewing grapes. You see, when I try to chew, the grapes' insides ping out and I'm just left with the skin." The other grannies seemed to take this into consideration.

The old dears were trying things with their new teeth, Wendy was a bit cheesed off at this but she was, still slightly intrigued. She slid her hand around Gladys' table and swapped hers. Wendy cautiously slotted them in and did what most old ladies do when trying out new teeth, "nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan," went the little old ladies new teeth, clapping together. She bit into an avocado and managed to scrape the inside out perfectly. "And this pair's good at turning pages," shouted one of them randomly. The grannies continued popping different teeth into their mouths and testing them.

"What on Earth is all of this hullabaloo?" asked one of the nurses while all of the others piled in. In the middle of the room there was a sign in front of a table saying 'The Teeth Exchange.' On that table were all of the teeth perfectly arranged with labels in front of each one: 'Good at chewing brownies,' 'Essential for tearing sellotape,' 'Perfect for sticky toffees' etc. "Well, um, as you were," said the nurse, glancing at all of the teeth curiously while waving her hand and trudging out. "We could start a business," Bertha muttered ... wondering.