The Mystery Of The Loch Ness Scarf

by Liv Steinhardt

*Wildcard Entry*

Welcome to Myth Monthly Magazine!

Following last week's enquiry, 'Did Merlin Really Have a Beard?' We ask the question - 'Does the Loch Ness Monster Really Wear a Bonnet?'

Sightings of the Loch Ness Monster have been flying around for years but no one knows for sure whether this beast really exists. However, new information from first hand sources leaves us dangling off the edge of our seats as we investigate what really lies beneath the shores of Loch Ness.

Myth Monthly Magazine spoke to Brenda, 36, who said,

"About ten years ago I lost my favourite long, stripy scarf in the water. After taking up that notoriously dangerous sport, paddling, I left my scarf on the bank of the loch. The next thing I knew, it was drifting into the middle of the lake before it was snatched from the surface by the monster itself! It's upsetting for me because I'd made the scarf myself after getting the bestselling book 'Silent Knit, Oh Holy Knit' for Christmas ..."

Unfortunately, we couldn't get any further information as Brenda had soon deteriorated into a puddle of tears.

Another witness who wouldn't reveal his identity - but we believe he was aged somewhere between 23 and 82 - claims that the world-renowned 'Nessie' is actually an alien with a dual identity!

"Being a big fan of the radio show 'Alien in My Attic' for as many years as I have" said the man, "I now understand why we aren't able to detect the creature: it's because it's an amphibian who leads a double life!"

The man pulls a copy of 'A Wunderpus Photogenicus Stole my Trousers' magazine out of his pocket, which shows a large, legless creature that appears to be half dinosaur and half eel.

"I believe the creature has not been detected by todays underwater sonic equipment" continues the man, "because it's not always there! Yet we have proof that a creature exists from the range of photo's of Nessie over the years - they can't all be wrong!"

No, but they can all be mad! I think to myself, as I finish writing the article and close my laptop.

I understand that humans will always need stories (even if very few people truly believe that myths are real), and that those few who do embrace them with an open heart will never truly be believed by the rest of the world. Luckily for me, I tell myself, luckily for me.

The grandfather clock above me strikes midnight so I stretch, sip the last of my cocoa and decide it's time for bed. As I look out of my bedroom window I see the Loch: so cool and inviting. Fortunately, my bedtime routine is a quick one: I brush my teeth, wrap my favourite stripy scarf around my neck and head down to the loch's edge. Then I slither out of my human skin and slip unnoticed, into the cold depths of the water.