Domestic violence: Why pipo dey stay for abusive relationships

Nigerians on social media express anger afta di death of gospel singer Osinachi Nwachukwu wey die sake of alleged abuse from her husband.

As Osinachi death full ground, tori of oda women wey die due to similar circumstances dey make pipo wonder why women and men wey dey experience abuse no dey waka komot from such situations.

BBC News Pidgin tok to experts for relevant fields on why pipo dey experience domestic abuse and why most of dem no dey komot.

Marriage counsellor Angela Elueokafor reason say some women dey remain for abusive marriage sake of dia children or sake of wetin society go tok. She also say anoda reason na sake of say di abused woman don see herself as a nobodi. She tok say di abusive husband don make di woman tink say she no go fit survive without am.

According to Elueokafor, di Nigerian society wey dey controlled by men no make am easy for woman to just pack her load and leave marriage.

'Even wen she make up her mind say she won leave, di family members and society go make am difficult for am. Dem fit label am as a prostitute or pesin wey too dey wild,' Elueokafor tok.

She tok say pipo wey dey go thru abuse suppose dey speak out so odas go know wetin dem dey face. She also tok say religious leaders need to dey advise pipo wey dey experience dis kain tins to leave instead of say dem no tok anytin.

'Lastly, di support of di parents, siblings and societal support.

'Dem need to support di pesin wey dey suffer abuse instead of to tell dem to return to di marriage.'

'Even if di church or di mosque no tell di abused pesin to divorce, di pesin gats separate from di partner sake of di threat to dia life,' na so di marriage counsellor tok.

Di role of di Church

Pastor Akinola Akinwale Damilare of Appealing Grace Assembly International also tok say pipo dey remain inside abusive relationship sake of wetin society go tok.

'E dey very bad for any man or any woman to abuse dia spouse. E also dey stupid on di part of man or woman who go stay to dey killed inside abusive relationship sake of wetin di society go say. We dey created to live for ourselves and for God, and no be for di society,' di pastor tok.

Di pastor wey be di national administrative secretary of di Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria tok say e dey important for couples to separate if one of dem dey experience domestic violence so dem go fit work on diasef.

According to am, no pastor go encourage divorce and na why pipo gats take dia destiny into dia hands.

'Di time of separation fit reduce di tension.'

Founder of Di Total Child Initiative and member of Child Safety Education and Protection Initiative Elizabeth Azubuike tok say most women dey remain inside abusive marriage sake of dia children, while some oda pipo dey remain sake of wetin society go tok wen dem waka.

She tok say anoda reason na di stigma wey divorced women dey face.

She follow tok say parents no dey try at all sake of say some of dem no dey support dia daughters decision to komot from abusive marriages.

Azubuike say separation na one of di solutions for pipo wey dey experience domestic violence.

'If you see say your husband dey really beat you, go to di agency wey dey in charge of such case and make separation dey. If within six months or one year di person work on imsef, den una fit come back as a union but if dem no fit, make evribodi go dia way,' Azubuike tok.

Azubuike say some religious leaders wey no be marriage counsellors know di truth but dem dey hide am and use God to confuse pipo by telling dem say Bible no support divorce.

"You suppose see di red flags"

Azubuike also tok say di red flags dey always dey present diasef but pipo dey always dey blind in love and ignore dem.

'We (pipo) no dey look for di smallest details in courtship. We dey always dey blindfolded during courtship but na inside marriage eye dey clear

She also tok say a lot of pipo na pretenders but dem no fit hide all dia characters.

'Dey look how dat pesin dey tok to security man wen im go bank; see how dat pesin dey rush to attack im sister wen she provoke am; how e dey deal wit im mama, wit im domestic staff.

'Di signs dey always dey dia but no be for all cases,' Azubuike tok.