Palava wey women wit albinism dey face for relationship

‘Who dey marry albino?’ ‘Who wan bring you out say dis girl na my wife?’

Dis kain painful and heartbreaking questions na part of wetin women wit albinism dey hear wen dem try enta relationships and marriage.

Pesin wit albinism (PWA) no be new tin for our African society.

Dem be part of our communities as friends, colleagues and family members. Still, society dey discriminate against and stigmatise dem, especially for dia domestic life.

According to United Nations, Nigeria follow get di highest number of pipo with albinism for di world, “wit about two million pipo wey dey affected.”

Dis number fit dey higher as e still get locations inside di kontri wey goment and NGO dem no get presence at all.

Dis tori, torchlight di issues wey PWA women in particular, dey face for dia relationships and marriages.

Although PWA get dia kain of relationship and marriage palava, men and women experience dey different.

“Di men no get much problem becos na dem go marry pesin wey no get albinism,” Bisi Bamise, di National President, Albinism Association of Nigeria, tok.

“But wen e come to di black man to marry pesin wit albinism, na wahala… even wen dem say dem love di woman,” she add.

Ishola Tawakat

Ishola Oluwafeyiokpo Tawakat begin life as street hawker, until she make am as caterer and distributor for some of di major soft drinks company dem for di kontri.

She say before she meet di man wey she bin call husband, she bin don build very strong business for hersef.

But, within nine months - from di day wey she bin first meet her husband to wen di marriage finish – Tawa say her life drop from riches to rag.

She become breadwinner for di marriage, but her business face major setback afta she relocate wit her husband go far from her business.

Three months afta di wedding, as she bin no secure or resume business, she lost all her assets.

“Wen I dey worried say my business, my business, e say, you go cool down o. even if na you dey take care of us, for now you have to cool down,” she say.

Although dia relationship bin start well, she say di journey to her husband village, open her eyes to fact say her husband dey shame to show her for public.

“During ileya festival, we come travel go dia village. We suppose leave for morning. We leave Lagos for afternoon… By di time we reach dia village night don come,” she tok.

For di village, she say her mother in-law show her clear rejection as she refer to and treat her as stranger instead of her daughter in-law.

“Even wen I bin wan cook, di mama say I be stranger, say na she go cook for me,” she tok.

Afta her divorce, Tawa say she later find out say her marriage na fake and say pipo wey show for her wedding as in-laws na rented crowd.

“Na later I know, all di pipo wey I bin see for wedding, I no see dem for im village,” she tok.

Tawa business never still recover since she waka comot from di marriage. Now she dey struggle all over again to build her catering business.

Wuraola Olarinde

Wuraola Olarinde, 26, na content creator and model.

She bin enta relationship wit her friend from secondary school becos she bin feel say she go dey safe wit am.

Wura say tins for di relationship bin dey okay until she carry belle. Di bobo change am for am.

“Im say, you need to remove dis one o, becos I no fit carry you go meet my mama say na albino I wan marry,” Wura tok.

As di only pikin wey her parents born, and wit mama and papa wey don die, she no gree remove di belle.

Wura say di man turn hostile against her and subject her to verbal and physical abuse.

According to her, di gbas gbos wey follow her pregnancy clear her doubt say, di man wey she bin feel say go make her safe bin come wit di agenda “to chop and run.”

Domestic violence

Domestic violence na common crime for society and pesin wit albinism sef dey collect from domestic abusers.

Wura, di breadwinner of di marriage, struggle wit domestic abuse and violence both from her baby daddy and some of im family members.

“Na me be di breadwinner cos na me dey do everytin. So any time wey e be say e wan collect sometin from me, or im want make I use my money do sometin, e go change. E go come dey pamper me, dey do normal," she tok.

But, wen money no dey to do wetin she dey expected to do, dat na wahala on anoda level for her.

“One night wey be say, im come from work, dat week I dey broke. I no come cook... “E come come house dat day, come tok say, ‘wia my food dey?’ I tok say, I no cook o becos I no get money. Den di next tin, e come dey shout dey tok anyhow.”

Wura say di first beating wey she ever collect na wit caesarean session wey never heal, she say she collect beating wey leave her dey bleed heavily.

Out of frustration she attempt to commit suicide. “I don dey too frustrated wey be say, one day I even attempt suicide… I do am for im presence. I take insecticide for im presence. And Im say if I wan die, make I die.”

She and di baby daddy don go dia separate way.

For now, Wura no get house and na for church she and her baby dey take refugee as she dey try put her life togeda.

Facing discrimination

Woman wit albinism dey face stigma and discrimination no mata weda she wan marry black pesin or her fellow PWA.

Tawakat say she don experience two rejections for marriage sake of say she na pesin wit albinism.

She say for di two times, na family members and friends discriminate against her relationship.

During her relationship wit her fellow PWA, she tell BBC say her aunty call dia relationship abomination as she question: “na for wia two albino pipo dey marry dem sef?”

Discrimination no dey end even wen dem finally marry. Palava of acceptance as sister or daughter in law na hurdle wey dem must to cross most times.

Husbands of women wit albinism sef dey dey under serious pressure, as a result many men wey marry PWA no dey feel proud to show off dia wives.

Di stigmatisation say pipo dey look im wife as pesin wey dey inferior dey make di men ashamed to waka wit dia wife for public even though dem fit love her inside house.

And for oda situations, di man fit begin regret say im get anytin to do wit di woman due to shame wey im dey get from in family sake of im choice, Bisi Bamise tok.

Husbands wey no fit withstand dis shame dey take out dis frustration on di woman, like for Wura experience wia im tell her: “’You wey be say I dey do you favour.’… if no be say I just look at you I just pity you. Who wan bring you out say na dis girl be my wife.’”

Or for Tawa case wia her husband no physically or verbally abuse her but instead give her silent treatment, wey make her begin doubt herself.

Dr Bamise say dis kain shame and discrimination dey make relationship wey suppose be true love to sour as di woman go see say di man no dey proud of her.

Dis dey reduce di woman sense of self-worth, “her sense of reasoning, her ego no mata what,” she tok.

“To be honest, den, I dey feel low about myself. E tok to some stage wey be say I come dey feel less, wey be say I go try to do tins wey go favour am,” Wura say.

Wetin be albinism?

Albinism dey happun wen dem born pesin without one chemical or pigment for body wey dem dey call melanin.

Dis melanin necessary to help di eye develop well. Na im dey give colour to di eye, skin and hair.

Although albinism fit affect proper development of di eyes, e no mean say na every PWA eyes dey dey affected.

Dr Bisi say, di issue of weda dem fit see well or not depend from pesin to pesin, no be general problem.

Bisa wey don enta 60 years now say, she dey among pipo wey bin dey see wella and she even bin dey drive car before she decide to stop.

Wura confam dis claim say for her whole life, she no ever use glass before and she still no dey use am now.

Di koko be say, even wit di absence of melanin pigment, pesin wit albinism dey very normal like every oda pesin, as albinism no affect any tin for dia body.

Dia brain, heart, lungs, immune system plus every oda part of dia body gallant, notin do dem.

Uchenna Ozoekwe wey be medical doctor, tell BBC before say, albinism dey genetic and for pesin to get am, both im mama and papa must to get di gene inside dem but e dey hide.

Myths surrounding PWA

E get orishirish believe for different parts of Nigeria and Africa about pesin wit albinism.

For example, some believe say PWA get supernatural power, and dem fit use dem for rituals.

Odas dey see dem as demons, or as gods or ghosts, or as pesin wey carry curse or wey dey suffer punishment.

E get communities wey believe say PWA no suppose chop some kain tins like, pepper, crayfish, and salt.

But dis kain taboo no get head as e no get any medical or scientific reason at all for dem to avoid anytin.

Di challenges of discrimination and stigmatisation wey dey inside di relationships and marriages of pesins wit albinism, particularly women, no dey encourage many of di single ones to marry at all or dem go marry late.