This may shock you, but there are times when two celebs pair up, not out of love, but out of a mutual need for publicity, the rotters (yes, we mean you, Geri Halliwell and Robbie Williams)!

We don't approve of such shenanigans, obviously, but we reckon it might work for Pink and Shayne... Pink needs to attract attention without simply saying: "I think Singer X is a bit of a bimbo", and Shayne needs that all-important celeb female clutchpiece to launch himself Stateside. Picture it: Perfect strangers! Culture clashes! Hilarious mix-ups! It's the stuff great romcoms are made of...

WHY IT WOULD WORK:

The first rule of romantic comedy states that mismatched couples are ALWAYS meant for each other. Pink's a rebellious wildchild with a potty mouth and a different hair colour for each day of the week. Shayne's a gentle giant with a girly falsetto. AND he probably owns six different pairs of slippers. It's perfect!

The tabloids would have a field day. Shayne has a long-term girlfriend and Pink's married, so two jilted partners would have stories to tell, and that's even before we get to the "We're so happy together!" photo spread that Pink and Shayne (or Payne, to give them a proper showbiz couple name) could do with Hello! magazine. Everyone wins!

They could get a reality TV show out of it, giving Pink yet another opportunity to take potshots at Jessica Simpson. We can see it now - SHAYNE: (holding a can of tuna) "It says chicken of the sea, so is it chicken or fish?" PINK: "It's FISH, you raging MORON. GAWD, you're an IDIOT..."

Then there's the inevitable lovey-dovey Christmas duet, released just in time to stop next year's X Factor winner from getting to No.1 and letting Shayne keep his crown for another year. Oh, the crafty swines...

WHY IT WOULDN'T WORK:

There is this tricky issue of them both being spoken for. It would take some smooth-talkin' of the "no, sweet cheeks, I'm doing this for my career, but I still love YOU" variety to pull it off, and we can't see Faye and Carey being too chuffed.

They've both said umpteen-million times that their current partners are The One, so it'd going to be hard to sell the "whoops, we fell for each other!" stories to a cynical public. Then again: Prestelle, anyone?

There might even be a public backlash of some sort, with at least one of them being branded a home wrecker. Have we learnt nothing from Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem?

Shayne might not be man enough for Pink. Despite the tough-looking shaven bonce, he still used to work in a shoe shop. Pink likes her men rough and gnarly and living on the edge, and it's possible that Shayne is just a little bit too sensitive. Besides, the second that Pink suggests matching chest tattoos, Shayne's going to squeal like a girl and not stop running until he gets to Bratislava.

A Pink/Shayne partnership would be a hilarious opposites-attract type story, but we still reckon they'd be better off with their current squeezes than with each other. Never mind, eh?