Sarah Kendall

What is your show all about?

This year's show is pretty much about the sensation of being uncomfortable... screwing up at work, unintentionally offending people, little harmless lies that spiral out of control, that sort of stuff. It has an emotional depth not seen since the Fonze was forced to apologise to Richie Cunnigham, and Fonzie couldn't pronounce the word 'sorry' (because he'd never said it before. Because the Fonze apologises to NO ONE.)

Where and when can we see it?

Pleasance Upstairs, 9:30pm.

Do you love Edinburgh or is it a chore?

I love it. There are loads of different shows to see, there's the book festival, there are loads of people to hang out with, AND there's a mobile cheese van. Also, I've been very lucky in the past and had great flatmates. And this year I'll be living with Lucy Porter and Martin Bigpig, so that luck has evidently run out.

What will you be doing with the other 23 hrs of the day?

Shaving Lucy's back.

What's the best thing you've ever seen on the fringe?

In terms of stand up, I think Maria Bamford's show last year at the Tron was amazing. She was only in town for ten nights, and it was the most hilarious hour of stand up I've seen. I also really enjoyed Def Poetry Jam. And I always catch Oram and Meeton's shows, because they make me laugh until a bit of wee comes out.

What's the worst thing you've seen?

My reflection after the last Saturday night of the festival. It's like that scene in Vanilla Sky where Tom Cruise goes to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, switches on the bathroom light, and is still disfigured from the crash. And, like Tom, I start screaming and crying in horrified confusion.

What's the most curious thing that's happened to you in Edinburgh?

I got accused of shoplifting in the CRAPPEST shop in Stockbridge. It's a second hand shop run by this short bald guy, his demented mother, and his mental son. They even kicked me out of the shop! The thing is, the shop is a garbage tip They sell things like empty match boxes and figurines from cereal packets. They're crazy. If you see them, avenge me.

If you could persuade one VIP to come to your show who would it be? Why?

Osama bin Laden, because I'd say to him, 'hey why don't we meet after the show and go for some food? There's a great vegetarian cafe near my place', and then when he arrived I'd cuff him and turn him in and make loads of money. Or Julie Christie because she's ace. Or Carly Simon.

If the Edinburgh fairy could grant your wish, what would your wish for?

I'd wish for the mobile cheese van to be parked in my bedroom. I'm going to need a second wish, or we can call this 'first wish, section b': In order for the cheese van to be parked in my room, I'll need my room to be refrigerated, other wise the cheese will go off. And section c of the first wish is that I'll need crackers if they're not supplied by the cheese van.

What advice do you have for first time Edinburgh punters?

If a snake bites you, make small incisions over the bite marks with a razor blade and suck the venom out. Then keep the leg elevated and run for help.