The Pickling Pirate

By Zak Citron, aged 8

Long, long ago, when pirates sailed the seas, it was very hard to preserve things so they pickled all their food to keep it from getting all mouldy but one pirate took pickling to the extreme. His name was Percy Pickles but his crew just called him Pirate Captain Pickles.

Pirate Captain Pickles loved adventure, the sea, gherkins and above all he loved his crew and wanted to sail with them for all time. So to keep them fresh he decided he would have them all pickled. Every night after a hard day Buccaneering; the Captains Crew would bathe in brine. Even the Captain's Parrot was pickled but the strangest thing of all was Captain Pickles Pirate Ship; the Good Ship Piccalilli wasn't a ship at all but a giant hollowed out gherkin with a sail on top and a big flag that had a Skull and Cross-bone made out of a pickled onion with two gherkins going through it.

One day, Captain Pickles and his crew dropped anchor on a strange and wondrous Island where gherkins grew in huge numbers. This was treasure indeed for a crew who loved their pickles like nothing else. As the Crew went about picking their pickles something was actually hunting them. It was a tribe of Cannibals and they had a big boiling pot waiting for such a healthy looking bunch of Pirates.

The Crew where so busy picking a particularly plentiful crop of perfect pickles that they didn't notice the Cannibals with their Pirate size butterfly nets creeping up behind them.

Eventually the crew was all tied up hanging over a pot of bubbling water with a few carrots and herbs thrown in for flavour. The Pickled Pirate Crew where doomed for sure but then Captain Pickles had a great idea and offered the Tribe Leader a large juicy pickle to replace each of the captured Crew members. The Cannibal Tribe Leader had never tried pickling their crop of gherkins before and they absolutely hated raw cucumber. However once they bit into that first juicy pickle and sucked down that explosion of vinegar and salty brine letting the juice drip down their chins; they swore they would never hunt Pirates again. They loved it and released Captain Pickles and his Crew immediately. The Crew stayed one more day to teach the tribe about the wonders of pickling all fruit and vegetables they could find and in return Captain Percy Pickle and his Crew received a huge chest of gherkins.

So the pirates sailed off with the pickled treasure they had sought and the Islanders gave up their lives of hunting people and started hunting for pickles instead... which to be honest was a much easier task as pickles can't run away.

As Captain Pickles sailed away with his Crew he reflected upon his close shave and realised that sometimes when you're in a pickle; you may just need a pickle to get out.