It must be easier to get into Posh and Becks' bedroom with a flashbulb camera and a big sign around your neck that says "I'm from the News of the World" than it is to get into a Lions training session.

Almost all are closed to the media - as if Graham Henry and Donal Lenihan are developing biological weapons of mass destruction rather than trying coach a rugby team.

A designated few are granted entry under the strictest terms for a few short minutes at the start of a session.

But no-one is above suspicion. Not even honourary Brits like Alex Evans, the former Cardiff and Wales coach.

Access no areas: Alex Evans

Evans, who parted company with the Australian Rugby Union as a technical advisor two years ago, now spends peaceful days coaching back at the grassroots with Brisbane Grammar School.

The Lions have been using the school's magnificent training facilities this week in order to prepare for their match against the Queensland Reds.

After coaching his school side in the morning, Evans decided to hang around and watch the Lions go through their paces. He had, after all, coached a number of them before.

But no sooner had he glanced in their direction than Graham Henry and Co. were insisting he was ejected from his own school.

Spy hard

Not even Evans's decision to wear his old WRU tracksuit bottoms saved him from being branded a spy.

Spies are everywhere in Australian rugby, though, even at provincial level.

Bad behaviour: Shane Drahm

Nathan Williams and Shane Drahm must have thought they were safe enough to enjoy a little late night drinking after playing in the Queensland Presidents' XV on Tuesday that had been thrashed by the Lions earlier in the evening.

Except they were caught as red-handed as the man who stirs the red mixes in the Dulux Paint Factory.

At 5am on Wednesday Williams and Drahm decided to get a cab back to their hotel. How unlucky that the only other man at the rank happened to be Queensland Reds coach Mark McBain who was on his way to the airport to catch a dawn flight out of Townsville.

Williams and Drahm were promptly dropped from the Queensland Reds squad to play the Lions this weekend.

Cute and caustic

The Lions (not the ones running around, the ones which are carried out as mascots by the captain before each match and placed on the halfway line) have been part of touring history since 1930.

A lackey was despathed to Harrods to buy the cuddly toy shortly before the current squad left for Australia.

It stays in the team's hotels, goes to all matches and training sessions, and hangs out in the team room.

But it doesn't have a proper name. Some think it's called "Leo". Others say it's the even less imaginative "Lion."

Australia have no so such confusions. They carry a stuffed Wallaby with them on their tours.

And the name given to it by the players? S***-head.

The Nugget: Martyn Williams

The Nugget

Danny Grewcock tells everyone his big passion at home is cooking.

He's currently rooming with Martyn Williams whose nickname is Nugget.

If Danny cooks Martyn a meal in their room, will it be chicken nuggets?