The management unrelentingly forced us to immediately embark on a rigorous training session through the bars of Sydney

"Unfortunately, John Eales and Co failed to show for the 0300 start"

After a brief stop at the hotel we headed straight for the Gabba to begin our pre-match warm up.

The mood in the Aussie camp was overconfident. The level of Lions support clearly shook the Wallabies, as the game developed into a home fixture for the men in red.

Our early efforts to break down national rivalries had been successful, as Mark 'Diamond Geezer' Webster launched into Bread of Heaven and Phil 'Braveheart' Richardson relished with gusto the melodies of Swing Low Sweet Chariot.

As the annihilation began, the sea of red totally drowned the fading Wallaby army, as try after try took the atmosphere to unprecedented heights, and total strangers became best friends.

Paul 'Seamus O'Reilly' Curran, a veteran of several previous tours later sobbed, "This is the greatest day of my life, I love you all."

After the boys on the park had done their bit, it was our turn to take centre stage and the singing and dancing continued long into the Brisbane night.

'Bob Dire'

As the players surfaced the next day, fortunately injuries were limited to bad heads and sore throats.

At the morning press conference, Bob Dire bleated "Lions - more like Cheaters! Did you see the way Robinson violently trampled the grass as he rounded Latham for the first try?

"And O'Driscoll blatantly failed to stop after he ran through our entire team. If they're going to be like that, I'm not playing anymore."

Having spotted a flaw in the Aussie game, we decided to organise a line out training session.

Unfortunately, John Eales and Co failed to show for the 0300 start outside Shooters Bar in Surfer's Paradise.

We persevered nonetheless, and with the kind assistance of the Queensland Police Sport Photography Unit produced our very own training guide (shown above).

It should make the second Test more of a challenge for the Mighty Lions at least.