Anthachime Doorbells - The Chance of a Lunchtime (1991)
Del's Spiel: No more of that 'Avon Calling Cobblers', Anthachime doorbells play 36 different national anthems including Fiji and Borneo.

The Real Deal: These cheap and tacky doorbells, play tunes that have never been heard before, and probably never will again.

Canteen of Cutlery - A Royal Flush (1986)
Del's Spiel: Hand made from Indonesian steel. With Ivory-effect handles and they come in a genuine synthetic leather case.

The Real Deal: The top class crowd claim they're too cheap to be top quality.

MUSTAFA F80 Radio Cassette Player - The Jolly Boys Outing (1989)
Del's Spiel: The Mustafa F80 Radio Cassette Player is solid state-of-the-art technology. 'It's got multiple presets, synthesised tuners, digital-scan, auto-reverse, graphic-equalisers, MW, FM, VHF, LCD, RMS, B&Q, and ICI and comes with two quadraphonic speakers.'

The Real Deal: They tend to smoke and catch fire after a period of use (though it doesn't mention it in the brochure)... especially when fitted on coaches to Margate!

Diamond Digital Personal Programmable CD Player - Andy Davies, Bognor Regis
(Hooky Street Winner!)
Del's Spiel: Crystal Clear personal, programmable CD player that plays and enhances standard CD to give an extra quality of sound.

The Real Deal: The crystal clear sound, sounds like it's been dropped in the crystal clear stuff, water - And the CD player doesn't stop and when you press eject. It's still spinning and files out the player and 90mph!