Darling by Jackie Kay

Darling is written in tribute after the death of the Jackie Kay's friend, Julia Darling.

The title of the poem has a dual meaning:

• hinting at Kay’s friend's name
• 'darling' is also a term of endearment, showing the strength of love.

The poem deals with themes of loss and childhood and memory.

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You can read Darling by Jackie Kay on the Scottish Poetry Library website.

Jackie Kay discusses her poem Darling with Zara Janjua. You can listen to episodes on all of the National 5 set text poems by Jackie Kay on BBC Sounds.

Although dotted with instances of half-rhyme, such as "slipped" and "skipping", and one perfect rhyme:

or how her face looked when sleeping. / You might forget the sound of her quiet weeping

This elegy contains no set rhyme scheme and is therefore free verse, giving it an authentic, conversational feel which matches the intimate nature of its subject. It feels as though Kay is speaking directly to the reader, explaining in confidence what she has experienced.

The lines are varied in length, although each of the four stanzas contains four lines which provides some order, routine, and comfort in the face of death.

The speaker, who appears to be Jackie Kay herself, speaks to herself at the start of the poem, expressing a sad forgiveness as memories of her friend inevitably slip further from grasp.

You might forget the exact sound of her voice

The poem describes how Darling died on a beautiful, sunny day, with the speaker holding her hand, to the sound of a folk song, and ultimately brings comfort with the image of Darling as a child again.

The reader is left an image of joy, not sadness, and with it the comforting thought that we are not left behind when someone dies - they stay with us in our memories, in our remembrance of them, as long as we need them to.

The poem begins with the second person “you”, at first appealing to the reader and reminding us that the topics of death and loss are universal. However, as the poem progresses, it becomes clear that the “you” is Kay talking to herself. Kay lists the things she finds herself forgetting about her friend, compounding the sense of loss, in a tone of melancholy forgiveness.

The anaphora of “You might” furthers this sense of forgiveness, as if Kay is comforting herself.

The stanza ends with a hint at the pain Darling was perhaps feeling. Words like “weeping” and “curled” imply the helplessness Kay felt in the face of her friend’s suffering.

the sound of her quiet weeping / curled into the shape of a half moon

The "half moon" suggests a natural waning, and the word choice "quiet" reflects the intimate, fading nature of this scene.

With the use of “leaving” and “left”, Kay uses euphemisms to cover the harsh reality of the death her friend was facing.

she seemed already to be leaving / before she left

Kay's descriptions highlight the raw pain of the situation and how much it has taken from Darling - she is described as “smaller than her self” as her body fades faster than her spirit.

There is a cruel irony in the contrast between the “blossom” and “sun” and “good in the world” outside and Darling’s death inside. It is a reminder that even in the worst of circumstances, the world still turns.

when the blossom was on the trees and the sun was out

The seasonal and cyclical nature of these natural references also highlights that death is an inevitable part of life, that everything has its time to flourish, grow and in the end, die.

Opening with a lyric from The Mingulay Boat Song, the words “Let her go” soothe both Darling and Kay as there is a shared understanding that now is the end and that death is an inevitable, inescapable thing. The phrase "slipped away” continues Kay’s use of euphemism but here it feels more careful, quiet, and calm, than the earlier examples.

With “slip of a girl” Kay links back to the earlier image of her friend being “smaller than her self” but here the positive connotations of youth overshadow the grief of death. The double meaning and repetition of "slip" in this stanza has an elusive quality, as the "slipped away" becomes a "slip of a girl," her perception of her friend has moved from the deathbed to the realm of childhood and play.

There is almost a feeling of relief as the suffering in stanza one is replaced with the lightness and innocence of youth. Darling skips off happily, and now the beautiful weather mentioned in stanza two finally seems fitting for the scene.

Darling ends with a reflective tone as Jackie Kay has come to a new understanding, one that she shares directly with her readers as a lesson. The use of “loved ones” is a direct address to her readers, but "loved ones" usually refers to the near friends and relatives of someone who has died. Therefore here Kay is making that connection to readers in the same position as she is, grieving and looking for some words of comfort in their own sad circumstances.

There is a conclusive feeling to the anaphora of “The dead” in the final two lines, coupled with the poet’s use of short sentences which add a happy feeling of finality.

The dead don't go till you do, loved ones. / The dead are still here holding our hands.

Instead of being a morbid, lamenting poem on suffering and death, Kay has been comforted by the process and the conclusion she has come to, ending with the metaphor mirroring the way she held her friend’s hand in line nine.

Although tinged with suffering and sadness to begin, Darling is actually a meditation on the very notion of loss. Kay begins by explaining that losing a loved one also involves losing one’s memories of them too, but by the closing lines she concludes that the love we share in life is a powerful bond and that we can use it to find comfort in the face of death.

The loving connection between the speaker and her dying friend is expressed as the memories the speaker worries she might forget in time, with the repetition of “you might forget”.

Kay goes to her own childhood memories to find the folk song she sings to her friend at the start of stanza three, reminding us of the comfort and joy we find in our lives as children, and it is childhood she thinks of as her friend quietly dies.

Instead of sadness, there is a positivity in words such as “skipping”, “light” and “smiling“, as Kay sees her friend free from pain and reliving the bright happiness of youth, “a slip of a girl” again.

The final lines are a testament to the power of memory, that people we love live beyond their deaths, in our memories, and remain there.

The dead don't go till you do, loved ones./The dead are still here holding our hands

Darling has similarities with Jackie Kay's poem Grandpa’s Soup, as both poems deal with death and absence through joyful memory of a loved one, as well as highlighting to us the beauty and innocence of childhood. They also both have a speaker reflecting on what they might miss about a loved one, but what they would also firmly remember. The use of the 'Mingulay Boat Song' in Darling and Scots vocabulary in Grandpa's Soup emphasises the importance of these shared songs and words to connection, and memory:

Comparisons can also be made with Keeping Orchids, through the poet’s discussion of inexact or fading memories; and Gap Year, which has comparable themes of youth and loss or absence.

Revise more of Jackie Kay's poems from the National 5 English set text list.

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