Nicola's home education story
Nicola made the decision to educate her two children at home after worrying about her older daughter's personality changes when attending school and feeling there was a lack of adequate support for her younger daughter's additional needs.
For Nicola, the decision to home educate wasn't taken lightly. It meant leaving her job and other sacrifices.
However, the journey into home education has been transformative for Nicola and her family's mental health and wellbeing.
Video: Mental health and behaviour
Watch this video as Nicola describes the mental health concerns that prompted her to turn to home education.
NICOLA
My name is Nicola, and I have two daughters. One of my daughters is nine. Her name is Bonnie, and my other daughter is five, and her name is Hallie.
Bonnie was just so bold all the time, she was full of personality. So she went into reception absolutely fine. But then, as the year went on, I started to notice that she became quieter. Her personality started to change when we was out and about. It was at that point that I started thinking about home education.
It was quite apparent from an early age that Hallie had additional needs. She wasn't doing things like walking or talking. I wanted to ensure that she had the right level of support in a school environment. We managed to get support in place for her. However, I always felt like it wasn’t enough. But it’s tricky because there are lots of children who need support and help.
I had to leave my job because she wouldn’t go to school. Mornings were very difficult. There was a lot of pressure around attendance for her, and if she was going to repeat what she had done the previous year, refusing to go, I was really worried. Attendance laws and regulations worried me because I physically wasn’t able to get her into school. She was pleading with me at one point, saying, “Please don’t send me back.”
I would describe it as being at rock bottom. I was really struggling. When I finally decided, “Yep, home education is something I am going to do,” I wrote the letter. I didn’t know if it would work out or not, but I knew that until we tried it, we’d never know.
Going down the route of home education has completely changed our mental health. Now that we have the freedom to do things at our own pace, in a way that suits us, I would say they’re learning more than they did when they were at school.
We don’t have to keep to a strict schedule like a 9-to-5 school day. It doesn’t have to be, “We do English at nine, maths at ten.” We do things when the time is right.
My dad, the girls’ grandad, is really involved with the kids. He’s musical, so he brings violins and other instruments for them. He teaches them things that I can’t, and they absolutely love having him around.
At the moment, we are in a place where it is working. Everything is going really well. But then, of course, we do hit spots where it’s not working so well, and I start to question things. It’s not an easy journey. I would never say to somebody, “This is going to be easy,” because it’s the hardest thing, and you do have to fight. You do have to advocate.
What I’ve learned about myself in this whole journey is that we are a lot stronger than we think we are. Go with your gut. You have to do it in a way that works for you and your family.
Where can I read more about mental health and home education?
If Nicola's story resonated with you, be sure to read our guides on how to look after your mental wellbeing, how to stay motivated when home educating and the ten common fears and tips for overcoming them.
For general advice about mental health and parenting, check out these Bitesize Parents' Toolkit articles: How to chat with your child about their mental health, making a mental health support network to help you and your child and six self-care tips for parents, Louise Pentland’s top tips for protecting mental wellbeing, plus our mental health first aid kit for parents: who to ask and what to do.
Where can I find more support for home education and parenting?
The BBC Bitesize home education collection is designed to support you and your child’s learning at home with free resources for early years and foundation stage (EYFS), primary and secondary-age students.
Bitesize Parenting is the go-to place for the whole parenting community to find stories, expert advice and fun activities.
If your child has special educational needs and / or disabilities, be sure to check out the Parenting SEND collection. Bitesize also has a collection of Sensory Stories, an immersive video series that transports you on unique sensory adventures, for children with additional or complex needs.
For more information about home education, these BBC News articles cover the rise in families deciding to educate their children at home and, from 2021, the impact of Covid on home education.
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