World of Wellbeing is a vodcast series featuring Ami Charlize and Radio 1's Dr Radha. In this episode, they chat about the difference between worry and anxiety, how journaling can help with mental health and how practising breathing techniques can be an amazing way to relax.
Ami: That’s definitely something I do, I always think about the past and what I could have changed.
Hey guys.
I'm Ami Charlize.
Dr Radha: And I'm Dr Radha.
Welcome to World of Wellbeing from BBC Bitesize, where we talk about how to look after yourself and your mind.
Ami: So Radha, what is on your mind today?
Dr Radha: So we're talking about worrying which I think is something we can all relate to. So Ami, have you ever worried so much that it's affected what you can do sort of day-to-day?
Ami: Yeah, I am actually quite a big worrier, to be honest. I think it probably stems from when I was younger and danced, definitely. Growing up being a dancer, I feel like the pressure was on. So yeah, ever since then, I've just kind of been a bit of a worrier.
Dr Radha: Yeah, I can definitely relate. I've always been a worrier too. It’s always been something that I've kind of like, had to manage and kind of learn sort of strategies around. So for me, it was mainly about upsetting people or worrying that I hadn't done enough to help people, they're kind of two big areas where I kind of worry quite a lot. And I think it's really helpful to say that overthinking is really common. Like our brains were meant to think, our brains were designed to sort of almost get a problem and kind of try to tackle it. And it's great if that's what happens, but actually worrying is not always about that. So, you know, we can use our brains to think and to solve problems and to take action, but actually worry tends to be the opposite.
Ami: I literally worry about like anything, it could be like a splodge of makeup on my top and I'm like, ‘everyone's looking at it.’
Dr Radha: No one's looking at it.
Ami: Or it could be something a bit more deep, like you know, family, like their health. Like I always worry about my nan and things like that. So I think it's definitely important to know more about it.
Dr Radha: Helpful to kind of realise that worry comes from a place either being in the future, like lots of kind of ‘what ifs.’
‘What if this happens?’‘What if that happens?’
Or being stuck in the past,
so like ‘I should have done this,’ like ‘I could have done that.’
And it's very rare that, you know, if you're worrying, it's very rare like you're in the present moment, here and now. So I think that's a helpful thing to remember, because when you are worried about something, you can notice it and say to yourself, ‘right, am I in the future right now or am I back in the past? And how can I bring myself back to now?’ And that's definitely something I do. I always think about the past and what I could have changed, but in reality we can't change the past, which I think is really important. And our brains also, when we worry, they tend to kind of just have a life of their own and go into this spin, so we often kind of don't really kind of get things very clear in our heads. We kind of get them jumbled up and we sometimes jump to conclusions and assume things without any facts or evidence, because our minds are just like in this complete whirlwind basically. So when you're stuck in a bit of a rut, Ami, what do you do?
Ami: I just like to talk to someone. If it's my friends, my family, you know, my mum and my dad normally. Or maybe even my sisters.
Dr Radha: And actually they can help you sort of see the bigger picture, but also they can help you almost work out what is in your control to change about that and what isn't, because sometimes we get those two things mixed up, and we can spend a lot of time and energy trying to like, change things that we can't control.
Ami: Literally.
Dr Radha: Whereas actually if we put that energy towards actually things we can do and the sort of problem solving and the kind of actions we can take to actually make things better as well. It's definitely important to remember,you know, we all worry, but there is more to life than just thinking about the past and thinking about, ‘oh my God, what am I going to do in the future?’
Ami You know, like just live in the present and kind of float with that.
Dr Radha: Yeah, sometimes it's almost weirdly like a bit of a sense of relief about realising you're not in control of everything. Because if you are in control of everything, that's a lot of responsibility.
Ami: Just a bit.
Dr Radha: That's a lot of hard work. So sometimes, in a weird way, when you realise that actually you can't control things, you can take a breath and you can realise that actually, that's quite a relief, because I don't have to worry about everything. I can just worry about these three or four things right here, right now, and actually, I can do something about those as well.
Ami: Definitely.
So what would you kind of recommend to make me feel better when I am in that worried state?
Dr Radha: Yeah, so keeping a journal, maybe making some notes on your phone every time you feel that way. That way, you can kind of track how you feel, how your mood is, and maybe work out exactly what is causing you to worry.
Ami: Yeah, I definitely agree.
I like to write things down all the time, like on my notes and kind of, you know, like relate back to it, or I film myself, and like how I'm feeling and then go back every year and watch it. And I just think it's really cuteand like, I re-do it every year. But why does it actually make me feel better?
Dr Radha: I think it helps you work out what you're worried about, because sometimes we don't even know, we just feel worried, but we don't actually know specifically what is causing that worry. But also, it can help us work out what we can change. So a really great kind of idea is to take a bit of paper and draw a circle, write your worry at the top of the page and inside the circle you put all the things you can control, and outside you put all the things you can't control.
And then basically you focus on the things inside that circle and try to change them.
Ami: Definitely going to try that, that sounds like a good idea.
Dr Radha: I think it's also really helpful to have a bit of space from your worries as well. So whether or not that’s like exercising, or like drawing or listening to music, I think we need a balance between sort of looking atwhat we're worried about, but also having a little bit of mental space away from that.
Ami: I’ve took up like boxing and pilates, because it gives me an hourto just focus and concentrate on my PT and that's it.
Dr Radha: And I think it's really important to, take an hour, switch your phone off, just do what you need to do and it can be really helpful, so I like that.
Ami: Yeah.
So how do we know when the worrying is kind of getting a bit more serious?
Dr Radha: Yeah, so basically we can all feel worried or a bit anxious when we go to the dentist, for example, or we have like an exam, but anxiety is different. So anxiety is like a feeling of unease, and it comes from feeling really scared or fearful about something, and it can really affect us. And when it becomes a problem is when it becomes repetitive or recurrent, when it's affecting what we're able to do day-to-day, and also when we start to kind of get symptoms from it.
So we can even get physical symptoms, like shortness of breath. We can feel really anxious, it can affect our sleep and also we can sometimes even have panic attacks from it.
Ami: So I don't personally have anxiety, but I know a lot of people that do, some of my closest friends do, and I think it's definitely difficult for them to know what to do. I mean, they talk to a lot of people. They try to get it off their chest. But what would you recommend to someone that is suffering with anxiety?
Dr Radha: Yeah, it is so important then to get help from someone you trust, so a trusted adult, but also your GP can really help as well. So if you are finding anxiety is starting to affect what you're doing day-to-day, then talk to your parent, teacher, carer, but also your GP is there to help as well.
Ami: So if I'm feeling worried about something what can I do to make myself feel more calm?
Dr Radha: So in the moment you can do some breathing exercises which really help you relax. So we're going to do one of those now, if that’s alright, Ami?
Ami: Okay, cool.
Dr Radha: And everyone who's watching and listening.
So I want you just to kind of get comfortable, relax your arms and legs, and I want you just to take a deep breath in for four counts and then a deep breath out for eight. Five, six, seven, eight. And you keep doing that basically. Take a deep breath in for four counts and then a deep breath out for eight. Six, seven, eight. So how do you feel?
Ami: A lot more relaxed, definitely.
Dr Radha: Amazing, amazing.
Ami: It’s really, really good. Thank you for that.
Thanks so much for being with us.
Head to Bitesize Study Support to watch more episodes or search World of Wellbeing on BBC Sounds to listen now.
Bye!
Dr Radha: If something’s worrying you, then talk to someone you trust, that might be your parent, your guardian, your teacher or another friend. And if you’re struggling with your mental health, then start with your GP, that’s a great place for advice.
And remember, you can always contact Childline for free confidential information and advice as well.
Does everyone worry or is it just me?
‘What if I don’t pass my test?’
‘What if my friend doesn’t like me anymore?’
‘What if I don’t know how to do it?’
Have any of these ‘what ifs’ crossed your mind before? Well, if they have you’re not alone. They’re called worries and worrying is something everyone does at some point.
Our brains were designed to think and come up with solutions to problems as a kind of survival mechanism. That’s great if we actually do solve things when we think about them and that’s the end to it, but with worries it’s not always about that. Our brains and thoughts get into a loop and we end up going round and round with worrying ‘what ifs’ without getting any further with solutions. It can be really tiring, and if we worry a lot then it can affect what we can do day to day and affect how we feel and our mood. Our brains get into a spin, we can get all jumbled up, and we sometimes jump to conclusions without any evidence or facts, or just assume the worst possible scenario.
There are lots of things we worry about from friendship issues, to family problems, to school exams or pressure, to what we want to do when we grow up and leave school. All worries come from being in the future rather than the present with lots of ‘what ifs’, or being stuck in the past with lots of ‘I should have’.
What can help with worrying?
1. Notice past and future thoughts
It's helpful to notice your thoughts and work out if they are in the future or the past, and if so, then to bring them back into the present. It’s virtually impossible to worry if we’re thinking about what’s happening right here right now. If there’s a problem in the here and now, we just act and get on with it and it’s done.
2. Get your worries out
Talk to someone you trust and tell them what exactly you are worrying about. Get specific and break the problem down so you can see the wood for the trees, and in doing so, actually make progress forward. Journaling or writing down your worries can help us get perspective on our worries. Often when we look at what we were worried about yesterday, the following day we realise that we didn’t actually need to spend our mental energy and time on those things at all.
3. Let go
The habit of worrying is sometimes created because we think that if we worry enough or think about something enough, then we will be in control of a situation and that everything will be ok. The reverse is true. Trying to see what you’re in control of and what you aren’t is really helpful – that way you can put your energy into what is in your control, and stop wasting your time and energy on what you can’t. It’s actually a relief to know that you aren’t in control of everything – all you can do is your best in any situation.
4. Get some space from worries
It can be helpful to have some space from worries and one of the best ways to do this is to move your body or get creative. It might be exercising or drawing, or listening to music, or reading. We need a balance between finding solutions to problems in life and having some distraction or a break from them.
5. Breathing exercises
Breathing exercises can help our nervous system calm down. Try getting comfortable and relax your arms and legs. Take a deep breath in for four counts and then a deep breath out for eight, and keep repeating that.
What’s the difference between worry and anxiety?
Worry tends to be in our heads and based on thoughts we have whereas anxiety we tend to feel in our bodies with physical symptoms. Worry can cause anxiety if we keep worrying about something. Worry also may be more specific about one particular thing, whereas anxiety can feel more like it is about a lot of things or more general. For example, I am worried about my maths test versus I have anxiety about meeting new people.
What is anxiety vs feeling anxious?
Feeling anxious is a normal emotion and part of life – for example, you might be feeling anxious about going to the dentist or about an exam. However, anxiety is a feeling of unease and comes from feeing really scared or fearful about something. Anxiety can really affect us and can become a problem if it’s recurrent or repetitive, or when it affects what we are doing day to day, or if we get symptoms from it. Physical symptoms of anxiety can include shortness of breath, sleeping problems, or getting panic attacks.
If you’re experiencing anxiety then it is important to get help from someone you trust, it might be a parent, teacher or carer, or a trusted adult, and your GP can help as well.
More World of Wellbeing
How much sleep do you need? video
Ami Charlize and Radio 1’s Dr Radha give some guidance on how exercise and being active can help boost your mood.
How to be more confident
Ami Charlize and Radio 1’s Dr Radha talk affirmations, body confidence and bullying.
What is friendship? video
Ami Charlize and Radio 1’s Dr Radha talk friendship fall-outs and growing apart.
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If you need support
You should always tell someone about the things you’re worried about. You can tell a friend, parent, guardian, teacher or another trusted adult. If you're struggling with your mental health, going to your GP can be a good place to start to find help. Your GP can let you know what support is available to you, suggest different types of treatment and offer regular check-ups to see how you’re doing.
If you’re in need of in-the-moment support you can contact Childline, where you can speak to a counsellor. Their lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
There are more links to helpful organisations on BBC Action Line.
