I was put into care at 13. The reason being that I was considered to be a threat to my family because I kept starting fires in the house. I was also self-harming, but a difficult set of circumstances within my family had affected me deeply and my attempts at damaging my home and myself were really a cry for help. I was taking my frustrations out on myself, my surroundings and my belongings.  My mother had always used putting me in care as a threat so I thought it was something to be frightened of. | Clair Lewis |
Eventually I revealed to a Social Worker what had actually happened to me within my family and I was immediately taken to a place of safety. I went to an emergency placement for the night but strangely I just wanted to go home. Eventually I was placed in foster care in Boxmoor. I felt quite nervous. My mother had always used putting me in care as a threat so I thought it was something to be frightened of, but at the same time I felt relieved. My first foster home was a bit like a children's home because my foster parents had two children of their own as well as three foster children and everyone was fighting for attention. But after two years, at the age of 15, I was placed with Wendy and Jim, where I was the only foster child. They had two children of their own but they had both left home, although they were still around quite a lot. At first I felt a little bit lonely. I had come from a very noisy place to a quiet place and I spent a lot of time in my room listening to music. I got on with them well but I was very shy and was suffering from constant nightmares and flashbacks. I was also going through therapy so it was a difficult time. I was in therapy for five and a half years. It was very intense but it worked. But at Wendy and Jim's I felt like part of a normal family for the first time ever. They helped me by listening when I had troubles and always being there for me. We did lots of normal stuff together like shopping and Wendy took me to college interviews. This helped because I was really shy and sometimes found social situations difficult. But through all this time I never once wanted to go home. My two sisters, one older and one younger, still lived with my mother and I felt that I wanted them to go into care as well. | At Wendy and Jim's I felt like part of a normal family for the first time ever. They helped me by listening when I had troubles and always being there for me. | Clair Lewis |
My relationship with my family has also improved over the years. I didn't get on with my mum when I was living with her but we have a much better relationship now. She regretted me going into care at first but she wanted what was best for me and knew that I needed help. She is pleased now that it happened. Another thing that helped me during my time in care was having a brilliant social worker who I am still in contact with. She was a great listener and never made excuses, always having time to see me despite an incredibly heavy workload. At school I felt I didn't quite fit in. There were lots of people there and I often felt unable to cope, but I was then put on a special education project for people similar to me and I began to do really well. I got four GCSE's. I couldn't believe it. A couple of years earlier I would never have dreamed that I could have got that far. But more was to come. I really wanted to do something with my love of art and I got accepted into Art College straight from school, where I gained a GNVQ in Art and Design and was even Student of the Year! But going to college wasn't always easy. I still had days when I felt that I couldn't face going in, and that was when I first began to get close to Wendy and Jim's son Steve. On my bad days he would take me into college in his car and give me a pep talk. I developed a bit of a crush on him and wrote him a note explaining how I felt. He wrote back and we started to do things together, like go to the pictures, take the dogs for a walk and spend hours just talking late into the night. Eventually we got together properly. That was just over five years ago and we got married two days after last Christmas. I can say without hesitation that my Wedding Day was the best day of my life, and symbolised yet another chapter for me. Another new life with a new name, and having that new name was a really big thing for me. | I honestly think that if I hadn't been put into care I would now be dead. | Clair Lewis |
Steve and I admit that we both gave each other confidence. It wasn't just a one way street as Steve said that he would never have had the impetus to go for a better job if it hadn't been for me. That makes me feel really special. He has to be the best thing I got from being in care! I feel that I have changed a hell of a lot since I was 13. In foster care I settled down and was able to behave like a normal teenager. I slowly became more confident and began to enjoy life. I honestly think that if I hadn't been put into care I would now be dead. Before I left my mum's I used to barricade myself in my room and self-harm and starve myself. Before being fostered I had been scared of it because it had been used as a threat and I hadn't known anybody outside of my family unit. But then suddenly I had a whole network of people to support me. It was like one big family. I really believe that being in care saved me.
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