Molly:
I was about two and a half when I was adopted.When you are adopted and you’re learning to trust people – because I think adoptees will learn it later – it’s quite difficult to sort of understand what they want to hear from you.
People often compare you to like Tracy Beaker and she’s not even adopted. You get things like orphan a lot as well where people just don’t know. They only think, oh, you only get adopted if your parents aren’t alive anymore. I think a lot of it comes from misunderstanding and not being educated on things.
Sometimes you can tell when someone’s coming up to you and they’re deliberately trying to hurt you because you can see their friends laughing in the background.
Sometimes it’s pure curiosity and I appreciate curiosity. You do almost automatically like trust them a little bit more and you think they’re not wanting to use that information against you.
When I’m stressed, I tend to shut down and I tend to go very quiet. What I do, is when I feel things stressful, I almost push everything else away and try to go into my head into a little white room where there’s nothing but just me, where I can feel completely away from everything else.
I get quite offended at the curriculum sometimes because obviously adoption’s not included in like family life and religion. It’s important that we’re acknowledged in the sense that we might not want to do activities such as like family trees and they might be a bit more difficult for us.
Even subjects like in Spanish, trying to describe your family. And of course I can write about the family that I live with now, but in some sense, you also want to write about your biological family, ‘cause it is a part of you, but you don’t really know them, you don’t really know what they look like, and so you can’t.
But I also remember having this brilliant teacher and we’d given her a leaflet about adoption and she’d read through it and she seemed to be really understanding and really caring and she made me feel really welcome in the classroom.
I think she got the aspect of that I am going to be different and I might not even realise that I’m different, but, no matter what, I will be.
In this short animated film, Molly gives first-hand testimony about adoption and what it can be like navigating school and peer relationships when you are adopted.
She talks about people misunderstanding what adoption means and the frustrations with the curriculum as adoption is not always included in study around family life and religion.
She highlights the significance of having a teacher who took the time to understand and make her feel welcome.
This is one of three short animated films exploring stories of care-experienced and adopted young people, told by the young people themselves.
The films are presented here as part of a teacher training resource, to raise awareness of the experiences of looked-after or adopted children. They might also be used with small groups of care-experienced children as part of an intervention or pastoral care approach. Depending on your cohort, they might also be suitable to share in class. Due to the nature of the content they are most suitable for use with pupils in upper KS3 (ages 11 to 14) and above, but could also be considered (using teacher discretion) for Year 6 (ages 10 to 11).
In a classroom setting, the films could be used, individually or together, to explore and challenge perceptions and understanding of ‘family’, and to raise awareness of the experiences of children and young people in the UK care system. The direct insight into individuals’ thoughts, feelings and experiences can also be used to generate empathy towards care-experienced children, what it can be like for them adjusting to life with a new family or with carers, and the effects that these continuous transitions can have on feelings and behaviour. The films could also generate discussion around creative emotional expression as examples of narrative and creative depiction via imagery of personal feelings and emotions.
Please note that these films should not be used in isolation, but as part of a planned programme of learning within Relationships and Health education or PSHE. Teachers may want to integrate them within existing lessons about family relationships, and/or explorations of feelings and emotions connected to relationships. Use of the films should be carefully considered and not without previous viewing or planning of related discussion.
Teacher Notes
After watching this film, allow time for discussion in groupings that suit you and your pupils’ needs.
Lead discussion with impartial and non-judgmental questioning that encourages students to form their own opinions, and then follow these up for more detail. Use questioning to help pupils develop understanding and empathy for the child in the film, rather than seeing them as ‘other’. Remind pupils to use words, phrases and images in the film to inform their responses.
Examples of questions to help lead discussion:
- We see a photo of Molly as a toddler, which she quickly takes back from her friend. Why might this photograph be important to Molly?
- How could people show understanding towards Molly?
- We see Molly speaking to a girl who is curious: why is this helpful to Molly?
- What does the teacher do that helps Molly? How does she help change Molly’s perceptions of herself?
- Use Molly’s story to have a wider discussion around trust, and what is needed for trust to happen between one person and another. Ask pupils to think about who they trust, and why they trust them. What are the things that people do or say that enable others to trust them. What might they do or so to show that they can’t be trusted?
More from this Teacher Support resource:
Real testimonies from care-experienced young people
Tai’s Story - The impact of going into foster care. video
A short animated film, using real testimony from Tai (not her real name), on the impact going into foster care can have, leaving a young person feeling disconnected from peers and afraid to express herself.
Elliot's Story - Being moved around the care system. video
A short animated film, using real testimony, about a young person struggling with feelings of worthlessness and anger after being moved from a neglectful home into the care system.
Teacher training videos
1. Defining care experience. video
A short film about the term ‘care-experienced’ and how being in care will impact a child, from the adversities faced to the impact it will have on their core beliefs and identity.
2. A trauma-informed approach. video
A short film about the impact of trauma and how a trauma-informed approach can offer support to a traumatised child within a school setting.
3. How can we do more? video
A short film about actionable next steps teachers and schools can take to support care-experienced young people, with a focus on inclusion and supporting them through transitions.
Further support
As the statutory guidance states, schools in England and Wales must now have a designated member of staff to promote the educational achievement of looked-after and previously-looked-after children on the school’s roll, providing a person from whom advice and support can be sought.
Further information and guidance may be obtained from external organisations, including those listed below:
- Adoption UK is a charity connecting and supporting those across the adoption community. They have a helpline, and welcome calls from all including adoptees, adopters, kinship carers and those in their support network: 0300 666 0006
- Become is a charity for children in care and young care leavers. They have a care advice line to provide support and advice about the care system: 0800 023 2033
- Coram is a charity that finds adoptive families for children, and supports children, young people and their families. They also provide training and resources for educators.
- The Rees Foundation is a charity that offers help and advice to care-experienced individuals and have collated together a range of resources.
- BBC Action Line has more links to helpful organisations for if you, or someone you know, has been affected by issues for young people.
- BBC Bitesize has an article for young people on how to support care-experienced friends at school.
