 | | | | | | | | | | Which riders have been the biggest influences for you?
Drew, Dave and Keith.
Anyone else?
Shaun Butler used to be amazin', but really just the people who I ride with: Fergus, Ranja, Sheepy. Sheepy just rides with his feet, he doesn't actually use his hands. It's mental. Gogo as well, 'cos he's the most stylish rider in Scotland. Anyone who does anything good on a bike really.
What about the Yeti?
Oh, he's inspires me in so many ways it's unreal. Not to ride my bike though. He inspires me not to ride my bike. He's straight edge now.
Really?
Aye, right! That's like saying Dave and Colin are straight [laughter]. All the people who used to come up the field as well, like Burkey and all the folk who don't ride anymore.
Anyone else from outside Scotland?
Kris Bennet is amazin'. All the people from the videos that were out about '97. Anyone who's on Dirty Deeds.
Fergus: Steven Hamilton changed your life too. He went and bought a Federal Fraction straight after that video ('Can I Eat?') was out.
I just got a wee bike 'cos everyone said I should get a wee bike 'cos I'm even weeer than Ian Morris, but then you end up doing front flips when you try and jump. They're cool for fannying about, but you cannae jump on them.
And know you're thinking about getting a bike with a 21.2in top tube!
Aye, probably.
Is that so you can do turndowns?
Aye, 'cos I can do them on Drew's bike.
So that means you've learnt them before Dave?
Oh definitely - Dave's a pussy like. He needs a foam pit. The guy disn'ae ken how ta turn his bars but he can dae 360 tailwhips.
You also said that he's been messing up your jumps.
Aye, he did! He changed the second one and I liked it before and now it's killing me. I cannae go high on it anymore. Nah, but Dave's a trail boss, man. He's unreal with jumps. The jump's right, it's just that I cannae ride it right [laughter].
But Dave can?
Him and Drew. They're the raddest people ever to come outta Scotland. They're from a different planet. They're so big! Muscles on muscles.
Who'd win in an arm wrestle?
Didn't you see it at Telford? They had one and Drew beat Jimmy Levan and then Gogo set his hair on fire, which was one of the best things of the whole jam.
Grant was slapping him too, eh?
Oh aye. The police kicked my door in looking for me and Grant but we were hiding in the corridor and Grant was on his hands and knees eating somebody's left-overs when Peter Adam ran down the corridor with nae trainers on and slipped on a plate and rolled his ankle and couldn'ae ride all weekend [laughter]. We then kept putting Dig stickers on the back of firemen and were jumping into bushes with Chris Hallman. Keith beating Steve Crandell every time at arm wrestling was also impressive.
Any more crazy roadtrip stories?
Well me and him [points to Colin] were down south one time and there was this big bouncer kicking this guy in the heid, so me and him took six bouncers on.
Who won?
Us, obviously.
Do you go on roadtrips often?
Mainly in winter. I dinnae really like England. It's weird - there're groups. It's like, you go to a park and there are riders who'll speak to you and then there's riders that cannae ride who'll just look at you and bitch. I hate riders who'll drop in and do a tailwhip back out onto the deck but then they can't even do a tyretap or a manual. I cannae be doin' with it. Tricks are for kids, anyway. If you can make a trick look good, then
it's good but it's all just about enjoying yourself, eh?
How did you end up being such a superstar in the land of Blantyre? You turn up at that place and the kids go crazy.
I was probably one of the first real BMXers they'd ever seen, 'cos they were just a bunch o' neds. Schizo - when I first met Schizo, he came down the park in trackies and a Celtic top, although that's not exactly changed, has it [laughter]? Maybe it was because I was seein' the lassie who was working there and they all had a crush on her [laughter].
Has Schizo now surpassed you?
He's definitely got more tricks than me and he's getting rad. It's a pitty that he's a Mormon and he's a ginger, wee creature like.
Is he really a Mormon?
I dunno, I read it in Ride. If Gogo wrote it, it's got to be true. Everything that Gogo and Grant say is true. It's all true. Nothing's lies.
Not even...no I can't say that.
[Laughs] Aye - this is the BBC man, you'll get sued. You'll lose your job and I'll be in jail. Minns as well man, that guy used to really impress me, and Movie - his name should be 'Smoothy'. Everyone in Scotland's cool, except for Hoffman and Mick. Backflip's should be outlawed - put that on the internet man, I want everyone to read that.
Dean does them though.
Aye, he should be hooked up. Dave - get him on Proper, NOW! The guy deserves so much, he's amazin'.
He's moved to Glasgow.
In with Yeti?
Do you think they should move in together?
I dunno - Dean could get corrupted.
But he could be a calming influence on Yeti and Yeti could start a fire in Dean's heart.
Aye, well it'd be funny to watch Dean turn into the Yeti and Yeti turn into Dean. It'd be some transformation!
He was trying bike flips the other day.
Yeti?!
Nah, Dean.
He'll pull one 'cos he's amazin'. Right, we've got to stop talking about other folk and saying they're amazing. It's getting kinda gay.
What are the best times in Scotland to be a BMXer?
BSD Jams, definitely. Anything that happens in Sleazy's, ever. Did I say 'Sleazy' right? I dunno - Gogo'll tell you how to say it.
Well surely you have to say it in a southern English accent 'cos the name comes from a song by a southern English band.
Who?
The Stranglers.
England's over-rated [laughter]. Anything that comes outta England cannae be good [laughter]. Apart fae, Terrid.
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