 | | | | | | | | | | | Changing the subject - how often do you paint or change your bike?
It gets painted every night when they shut the pub. Seriously. My bike's been sprayed six times in the last three weeks.
Where does all the paint come from?
We kind of just acquire it. Folk bring it to spray on the hut (which is the bottom floor of the pub) and then sometimes just randomly - if I see a can of spray paint, I've got to spray my bike. I've started putting nail varnish on it as well, 'cos you get a different finish. It's getting a wee bit too feminine though at the moment, it's all red and pink.
It's getting a wee bit cracked too.
A wee bit cracked, but it's ten year old man! My forks are ten year old, my frame's ten year old. My frame's got special powers.
What parts do you go through the most?
Frames [laughs].
Do you brake them?
Nah, I just get bored of them. My (Federal) Fraction was cool but I started riding trails and it's way too wee. You end up front flipping on it. Then I bought a Hoffman and I couldn'ae ride it. But my S&M's a dream.
Fergus (getting all excited whilst talking into his phone): Take pictures!
Somebody's just crashed at Livi and they're in an ambulance. Who's crashed?
Fergus (still on phone): Take pictures!
This is like live coverage!
Fergus: Hoffman's knocked himself out, lost a tooth and broke his thumb and Wee Ian's refusing to take pictures [laughter].
Halfwit fae Livi's deid [laughter]! And the news got wired to the pub instantly!
How long have you been riding?
Errrrrrrrmmmm...I'm not very good at maths man, hold on [laughs]. 1997 - so...ermm...right - there's five folk here and we can't figure it out!
Come on Jane.
Jane: eight years.
Eight years! Holy s***, I'm crap [laughter]!
Eight years and how many tricks can you do?
I don't know. I do one all the time. I hate tricks - tricks are for kids - Pretty Heavy got it right.
What's you're one trick?
Step throughs.
But you can also manual and do 180s, 360s and 540s too.
Aye.
They're all 'tricks'.
Aye. But they don't feel like tricks 'cos it's just spinnin'.
Would you say that meeting me was a life-changing moment?
Life changing for you, definitely! Aye it was. It did change my life in a kind of way, but then so did seeing Mike Aitken riding that hip.
His lookbacks were tasty.
Aye, but Drew went higher and was more impressive.
Garret Byrnes was good too.
It's 'cos his nose is so aerodynamic - that's why he can go so fast [laughter].
I once had a picture of him on my wall but my brother made fun of it so I took it down.
Do you fancy him?
Nah - his nose is too weird. And I'm going out with Jane, obviously.
Long distance relationships are always hard too.
Have you always ridden with your bike set up the same way (one brake, no gyro, no pegs)?
No, I rode four pegs before. I've rode everything.
Front brake?
For a week, but I always got confused what lever to pull. I think the thing was though that the first thing I ever saw of BMX was The Field in Tranent, so that's what got me into it - the trails. So I knew nothing else when I first started.
So you've never been into grinding tricks and all that?
Nah - I've done feebles down big stupid ledges and all that, but it disn'ae feel smooth. It's like, I just do what I feel like on my bike - sometimes I just want to carve, sometimes I want to try tricks, sometimes I want to piss about on the coping.
How come you've got some of the best trails in the country in your back garden yet you've not ridden them for about three weeks?
'Cos I'm too busy in the pub. I've got a lot of beer to session and it's hard.
Do you feel that your beer-sessioning is progressing?
Definitely sessioning the Stella is progressing a lot. I'm learning a lot. I've been trained how to drink by Keith though, so it's Stella, Jack Daniels and whiskey.
Ask Fergus what his latest injury was.
What was your latest injury, Fergus?
Fergus: Claire broke ma 'banjo' [much laughter].
Is it all floppy an' scabby an' that?
Fergus: B******s.
Can we take a photo?
You should phone Colin DSAB man. He'd have amazin' questions.
Captain Colin?
Aye, Captain Colin. He's the man, man. He's a man-eater [laughs]. Aye, he fancies Dave.
Are they actually going out?
Well I wasn'ae meant to tell anyone but they are seeing each other, but they want to keep it a secret. He's the only gay in the village, but Dave's moved out now, so...
To Edinburgh?
Aye, but that's just 'cos he's hiding his sexuality.
So how long have they been going out?
Just since the bike jam at Livi.
That's beautiful.
It is. It's a match made in heaven. They've got a new trick - it's a variation on a pressure grab [laughter].
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