'No flowers today! It’s a waste of money!'

“My wife turned round to me this morning,” says Pete the Plumber, “saying, ‘No flowers today. It's a waste of money!’ Then she calls and says, ‘Can you call in to the shop? Get a wee bottle of wine to go with the food! I’m going to cook tonight.’ Then she knows I have to pass the plethora of flowers in the shop!”
“Nothing to learn, this girl!” Sean says.
“You know what? I fell into the trap. They’re in the van. Would you play Total Eclipse of the Heart for my darling the last 34 years? Pete the plumber.”
“That’s great,” Sean says, “but what’s her name, your darling wife for the past 34 years?”

With music from The Beatles, Olivia Newton John, Dean Martin, and more.