Kingsman: The Golden Circle - This Week At The Movies

Following on from the events of Kingsman: The Secret Service, young superspy Eggsy (Taron Egerton) is living in his late mentor’s old house with his new girlfriend. Bar the occasional scrap with a cyborg, things are going just about okay. Then, something so disastrous happens that both Eggsy and gadget guru Merlin (Mark Strong) are forced to enlist the help of their American counterparts, the Statesmen. Cue the introduction of Champ (Jeff Bridges), Whiskey (Pedro Pascal), Tequila (Channing Tatum), Ginger Ale (Halle Berry), who must band together with the Kingsmen to take down deranged drug lord Poppy Adams (Julianne Moore). Also, that deceased mentor, Harry (Colin Firth), well… he’s back. But how?

Pros:

1. Like the first film, the balletic, bloody violence in Kingsman Round 2 is a lot of fun to watch. Look forward to seeing Eggsy swing his body around a henchman as he shoots another bad ‘un in the head and backflips through an explosion and surfs a rocket into a robot and so on and so on. The director, Matthew Vaughn, is the man behind the original Kick-Ass, so the elegant carnage is the very best elegant carnage in the business.
2. Taron Egerton remains appallingly charming, lighting up every scene. His chemistry with Colin Firth and Mark Strong is particularly enjoyable, but he’s good pretty much everywhere. With Eddie The Eagle and Sing under his belt – and the upcoming Robin Hood movie on the way – his star is definitely on the rise, and it's testament to his talents that he still stands tall in a film that also features other walking charm machines like Jeff Bridges and Channing Tatum.
3. Elton John has a sizeable cameo in this movie (playing Elton John, would you believe), and he is brilliant. Sweary, angry and utterly hilarious, he steals every scene he’s in. In fact, he’s not in enough scenes. He should be in every scene. In fact, forget the superspy stuff, can we get an Elton John movie, stat? Starring Taron Egerton, maybe? Oh, exactly that is coming soon (and is called Rocket Man, by the way). Great news.

Cons:

1. It’s too long. I’m a broken record, but 141 minutes is TOO LONG for a James Bond spoofy action thriller caper thing. There’s a pacey intro and punchy ending, but the middle is muddled and the whole twisty affair is just too convoluted. What doesn’t help is that Harry (Colin Firth) is all over the posters, trailers and TV ads, somewhat undermining the first act, centred as it is on finding out what’s happened to him. Hint: he’s alive, somehow. How you know that is because he’s on the side of a bus wearing an eyepatch.
2. There’s just not enough Channing Tatum or Halle Berry. My rule is: if Channing Tatum is in your movie, he should be in it as much as is possible and/or sensible, and the same goes for Halle Berry, with both actors severely underused. Similarly, Julianne Moore is perfectly decent in the villain role, but she just doesn’t have the same killer presence Samuel L. Jackson did in The Secret Service.
3. There’s a standout offensive, icky, cringey scene set in Glastonbury. Without giving too much away, it’s a sex scene of a sort, and as well as leaving a nasty taste in the mouth, it’s also thoroughly lame in a this-is-a-joke-a-50-year-old-thinks-a-teenager-would-find-funny way. It’s up there with the “princess moment” from the end of the first film – though if you know what I’m referring to there, to The Golden Circle’s credit, they do deal with that quite admirably this time around. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, skip this bit.

Three word review: More superspy nonsense.