The New Music Frid-eh? Interview: Alan Carr

Friday is the best day of the week because A. Loads of pop stars drop new music and B. We get the chance to ask a celebrity some really random questions.

New Music Frid-Eh (say it out loud, it will make more sense) is where we take the new songs Radio 1 is playing, turn them into questions and get one of our guests to answer them.

This week, it was Alan Carr under our slightly wonky spotlight. Here's what he had to say on important issues raised by the likes of Bruno Mars, Olly Murs and John Legend.

If you could cast a spell to change one thing to make your life easier, what would it be?

"A dog that didn't poo. My Bev just poos everywhere in the park and i'm sick of bending down. I'm 40 now, i'm finding it hard to bend over, so if her anus could just clamp shut that would be great.

"You can get away with saying anus because it is a medical thing. So yeah, a spell to make my dog's anus clamp up."

When was the last time you caught yourself doing something and realised that you're still not a proper grown up?

"I jumped in a massive puddle. It was just there. Some puddles just look appetising so I just jumped in.

"I was wearing Crocs and the water went in all the holes. I wasn't really thinking it through, but then kids don't, do they."

What current songs are you loving and what do you wish would never trouble your eardrum again?

"Faded by Kanye West. I only just heard it for the first time on Nick Grimshaw's show. I'm loving that for the minute. I'm loving it for the nineties house sounds.

"It's taking me back to Northampton and i'm doing big fish, little fish, cardboard box and the running man.

"I don't like heavy metal. It's just shouting and noise with no melody. Get rid, get rid."

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What modern 'thing' should be thrown in the fire?

"Twitter. Does my head in. Everyone's flogging stuff on there now. It's like one of those notice boards you get in the supermarket now. No one says what they're thinking. We need to scrap it and start again.

"Oh, my albums out in four days. My album's out in three days. My album's out in two days - who gives a ****?"

But will Alan be mentioning his new book online?

"Yeah. Every day on Twitter. I didn't say I wasn't a hypocrite."

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Which celebrity do you think should probably be in love with you?

"Channing Tatum or Bradley Cooper. I've met them, they've been on Chatty Man and there was definitely a connection.

"The thing is with Bradley Cooper, the producer in my ear had to say 'Alan, you've got to ask him a question' because I was just rotating on my chair, playing with my ear and looking at his size 13 feet."

Alan Carr's autobiography, Alanatomy: The Inside Story, is out now