Menya ibindi byatuma ukundwa kuruta ubwiza bwo ku isura

Nubwo uko usa ku isura bishobora kugira uruhare mu byo umuntu abona, hari ibindi byinshi bishobora kumukururira kugutinzaho ijisho no kugukunda.

Abantu benshi bakunze guha agaciro uko umuntu asa inyuma bakagumana icyabanyuze bakimubona bwa mbere.

Ibyo bituma byoroha gukeka ko ubwiza ari bwo shingiro ryo kubona umukunzi.

Ariko nubwo gukundwa bivuye kuko usa inyuma ari ingenzi, ngo akenshi iby'imbere ni byo bifite agaciro nyakuri.

Ubwiza bukurura ukureba ntibuza ku mwanya wa mbere mu bushakashatsi bureba imico abantu bakunda cyangwa bagenderaho iyo bashaka abo bakundana n'abo bazabana.

Ahubwo, imico n'imyifatire nk'ubusabane, ubwenge no kwakira abandi ugatuma bumva batuje kandi bisanzuye muri kumwe, ni byo bihora byiharira umwanya uri hejuru mu bushakashatsi, kurusha ubwiza bw'umubiri, mu byo abagabo n'abagore bifuza ku mukunzi.

Mu bushakashatsi nk'ubu, birashoboka ko hari abasubiza ibitabarimo ahubwo bagahitamo ibizatuma bakundwa, kandi ibyo rimwe na rimwe bituma ibisubizo bitangwa n'ababajijwe bidahuza neza n'ukuri, nk'uko bisobanurwa na Profeseri Greg Webster, umwarimu w'isomo ry'imitekerereze n'imyifatire y'abantu (psychology) kuri Kaminuza ya Florida muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe z'Amerika.

Nubwo bimeze bityo, mu bisanzwe abantu bavuga ko batoranya abo bakundana cyangwa bazabana nyuma yo kureba ubwenge kurusha ubwiza bwo ku isura.

Ariko se iyo dusohokanye n'umuntu byo guteretana, dukomeza guhitamo umuntu dushingiye ku mico ye kurusha uko asa mu maso?

Nkuko bisobanurwa na Jess Alderson, umwe mu bashinze urubuga ruhuza abashaka abakunzi ruzwi nka 'So Syncd', rusaba abarukoresha kurangiza ikizamini cya psychométrie gipima imico n'imyifatire by'abantu, ngo ni byo koko.

Mu bantu barenga 1,000 yakoreyeho ubushakashatsi, yeretse BBC Future ibyo bamusubije, hafi 90% bahisemo imico kurusha isura.

Gupima imico y'umuntu si ibintu byoroshye. Ibizamini bya psychométrie, akenshi bifite urutonde rw'ibibazo umuntu asubiza, byakoreshejwe imyaka myinshi mu buvuzi bwo mu mutwe nk'uburyo bwo gupima imico y'abantu. (Aho umuntu asabwa kugaragaza uko yemeranya n'interuro cyangwa se akaba atemeranya na yo.)

Abahanga mu mitekerereze n'imyifatire y'abantu bakunze gukoresha ikizamini cya 'Big Five', gipima abantu mu byiciro bitanu:

Ibyo bintu bitanu, ni byo bikunze kugaruka kenshi, ariko 'Big Five' na yo si shyashya.

Gupima imico y'abantu hakoreshejwe ibyiciro bitanu gusa bitanga ishusho nto kandi ituzuye y'uko umuntu akora, nk'uko Prof Webster abivuga.

Nubwo bidatunganye ku rwego rwo hejuru, ibizamini bya psychométrie bishobora gufasha mu kugaragaza ibyo abantu bahuriyeho cyangwa se batandukaniyeho, bikanatanga ishusho rusange y'imiterere yabo.

Hari n'ibice by'imiterere yacu bigaragaza neza uko umuntu agaragara nk'uwo mudakwiye kugirana umubano ukomeye.

Mu byiciro bitanu by'ingenzi by'imiterere (Big Five), kugira ubwumvikane, ikimenyetso cy'ubuhanga mu kubana n'abandi (cyangwa cy'ukuntu umuntu yita ku bandi kandi akishyira mu mwanya wabo), bigira uruhare rukomeye ku bantu b'ibitsina byombi mu isuzuma ry'ibanze ryo kureba niba bashobora guhuza mu mubano w'abakundana.

Ni cyo gihamya cyane ko umuntu anyuzwe n'umubano arimo ubu cyangwa w'ejo hazaza, kandi ni na cyo gikomeye cyonyine gica amarenga ko umubano ushobora gusenyuka.

Ku bagabo no ku bagore, ubwiza bwo ku isura buba bugomba kujyana n'ubwumvikane kugira ngo bibe ikimenyetso gica amarenga y'ubushake bw'umubano uhamye.

Kuba umuntu mwiza (w'umugwaneza), ni ko Prof Webster avuga, ni "ingenzi cyane mu mibanire myiza y'igihe kirekire". Anavuga ko "ubwumvikane [ubusabane] ni ngombwa rwose", akongeraho ko kujya mu mubano n'umuntu wowe utekereza ko adafite umutima mwiza bishobora guteza ibibazo.

Webster anavuga ko uko tubona imico yacu n'iy'abandi, biterwa n'icyo duheraho mu bitekerezo byacu. Urugero, abantu bafite umutima mwiza cyane baba bafite n'ukuntu babona abandi nk'abantu beza kandi bagira urugwiro, n'abandi na bo bakababona batyo. Kandi dukururwa n'abantu dusangiye indangagaciro.

Birashoboka rero ko duhuza n'abantu bafite imico isa cyane n'iyacu ubwacu.

Abashakashatsi mu mibereho y'abantu (sociologists) Terri Orbuch wo kuri Kaminuza ya Michigan na Susan Sprecher wo kuri Kaminuza ya Illinois State University, zombi zo muri Amerika, bavuga ko imico ijyanye no kumenyera no kuba hafi y'umuntu ari ingenzi mu rukundo.

Ibi birimo uko abantu basa ku mubiri no ku miterere bakura ku bakurambere babo, aho batuye begereye, ndetse n'uko twemera inshuti z'uwo muntu.

Ibyo byose bisobanura impamvu guhuza cyangwa no gusa ari ingenzi mu gukururana kw'abantu.

Abakundana bavuga ko bahuje cyane mu mico y'ingenzi igize imiterere y'umuntu (Big Five), cyane cyane kwitwararika inshingano (conscientiousness) no gukunda kwakira ibishya (openness), baba bafite akantu k'isumbwe ugeranyije n'abandi, iyo bigeze ku gukemura ibibazo no gucunga neza imirimo ya buri munsi mu buzima bwabo.

'Abantu bashaka abo bakundana bafite imbaraga mu mibanire... mu bukungu, ariko atari ngombwa ko zerekezwa ku wo bakundana'

Abahanga mu mitekerereze n'imyifatire y'abantu, Ellen Berscheid wo kuri Kaminuza ya Minnesota na Harry Reid wo muri Kaminuza ya Rochester, muri Amerika, bemeza ko gushaka umukunzi mufitanye byinshi muhuriyeho — mu miterere, uko mugaragara, aho mukomoka, n'amatsinda musangiye y'imibereho — ari yo nkingi y'ibanze cyane mu gukururana kw'abantu.

Nubwo bimeze bityo ariko, hari n'aho gutandukana mu mico bishobora gukurura. Urugero, abantu bakunda gukorana neza n'abafite urwego rwo gusabana (extraversion) rutandukanye n'urwabo, kuko bishobora gutuma buri wese azana umusanzu wihariye ugatuma urukundo cyangwa umubano urushaho gukomera.

Alderson, umwe uri mu bashinze urubuga (app) rwo gutereteraniraho rwitwa So Syncd, agira ati: "Birumvikana ko twagiye duhinduka ku buryo dukururwa n'abantu bafite nibura itandukaniro rito n'iryacu."

"[Bituma] Tugira ikipe [itsinda] ikomeye kurushaho kandi tukarushaho kuba twakomeza kubaho [kubana]. Ariko nanone, uba ucyeneye bwa bucuti bwa hafi no kwiyumvanamo bibahuza."

Birashoboka ko 'app' ye ikunze guhuza cyane abantu bafite imico yuzuzanya.

Ikizamini cy'imiterere (psychometric test) gikoreshwa muri 'app' ye yo gushaka abakundana yitwa So Syncd, ntigisa n'igipimo cya 'Big Five', ariko kibaza ibibazo bishingiye ku nsanganyamatsiko zisa — nko kureba ukuntu umuntu asabana, cyangwa niba ashobora kubaka umubano w'amarangamutima mu buryo bworoshye.

Alderson agira ati: "Duhuza abantu bafite ibyo bahuriyeho bihagije byo gutuma bubaka umubano ukomeye, kandi bakagira n'itandukaniro rihagije ritanga ikibatsi cy'akanyamuneza."

"Nashyiraho icyitonderwa kuri ibi nkavuga ko uguhuza kw'ubwoko bwose bw'imiterere gushobora gukunda [gushoboka] ndetse rwose hari inyungu [ibyiza] n'ingorane kuri buri bwoko bw'imiterere.

"Niba mufite ibyo musaho cyane, mushobora kumva mubihiwemo gacye. Kandi nanone niba mufite itandukaniro cyane, na byo bishobora kutabashimisha buri munsi."

Mu mubano w'urukundo, Prof Webster avuga ko kugira ubwumvikane n'urugwiro ku bandi (agreeableness), hamwe n'indi mico myiza ikurura, bishobora gufasha mu kugaragaza ibyiza by'umuntu.

Mu bushakashatsi yakoranye n'abahanga mu mitekerereze n'imyifatire y'abantu n'imibanire yabo n'abandi (social psychologists), Abanyamerika Angela Bryan na Amanda Mahaffey, basuzumye abantu bafite ububasha cyangwa igikundiro mu mibereho — haba mu mibanire n'abandi, ku mubiri, no mu bukungu — n'uko kugira umutima mwiza w'ubwumvikane bibakurura.

Abo bashakashatsi bavuga ko ubwo bwoko bwose butatu bw'izo mbaraga bukurura, kuko butanga uburinzi cyangwa bugafasha kubona ibikenewe by'ibanze nk'ibiribwa n'aho kuba, ndetse n'ibirenzeho nk'imibereho myiza kandi yisumbuye. Ariko kandi, izo mbaraga zishobora gukoreshwa mu byiza cyangwa mu bibi.

Prof Webster agira ati: "Dushobora kureba 'dominance' [ubushobozi bwo kuyobora cyangwa kugira ijambo rikomeye] mu buryo bushobora kwerekezwa mu mubano ubwawo cyangwa bukerekezwa hanze y'umubano."

"Icyo abantu bashaka ni abo bakundana bafite imbaraga mu mibanire n'abandi, ku mubiri, cyangwa mu bukungu, ariko atari ngombwa ko zerekezwa ku wo bakundana."

Yongeraho ko kuba umuntu afite 'dominance' ariko agira n'umutima mwiza no kubaha abandi (agreeableness), ari uruhurirane rukurura cyane.

Agira ati: "Ni ikintu kimwe niba ushoboye kugira ubutware [imbaraga] ku bandi, ariko ese ufite ubushake bwo gusangira izo mbaraga n'ibyo ufite n'uwo mukundana?"

Iyo bigeze ku kubona umukunzi ukwiriye (muhuza), ni ko Prof Webster avuga, kugira umutima mwiza w'ubwumvikane (agreeableness) bituma n'indi mico myiza umuntu afite irushaho kugaragara no gutanga umusaruro mu mubano.

Burya bwose rero, kugira umutima mwiza koko bishobora kukungukira.