Getting invited to parties with the likes of Maggie Philbin and that bloke from the Krypton Factor just isn’t on, sweetie. These people are strictly B-list. One should only turn up to an A-List party. But beware! Celebrity is a two-sided goose liver. Yesterday’s Jeremy Irons may well have become today’s Jeremy Beadle. Eddy and Patsy find it helps to have a good bitch through Hello! and the Enquirer before making any hasty decisions. See Celeb Spotting for more.
Sent in by CJ
Agelessness
Patsy is ageless insofar as she doesn't have a fixed age. She is one of those women who is fifty-something going on 15, and celebrates her twenty-fifth birthday every year.
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Alexander Technique
Indispensable therapy for all A-List celebrities. The best way to arch your shoulders back to make them look narrower (though this is not the technique's intended aim), and the breast and chest puff forward like a cockerel. You can't walk the red carpet in any other way. Eddy may have problems with this one, as she has barely mastered the command of walking. Most notable manifestations of her shortcomings are when getting down the stairs. Patsy doesn't need the help of Alexander Technique to make her look taller. Her beehive and abundance of male hormones makes her stand taller than most women.
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Anorexia
A is for many of the ills of Patsy - anorexia, alcoholism, and an aversion to air touching bare skin on her face. It is not for abstemiousness, at least not in relation to drink and drugs. Patsy hasn't eaten since 1979, although she did taint this dubious record with a crisp sometime recently.
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Auric Healer
Edina finds it helps to consult one when her Chakras go out of whack. A good Auric healer would spot immediately that Eddy’s years of drink, drugs and shopping have had a seriously negative affect on her aura.
Getting invited to parties with the likes of Maggie Philbin and that bloke from the Krypton Factor just isn’t on, sweetie. These people are strictly B-list. One should only turn up to an A-List party. But beware! Celebrity is a two-sided goose liver. Yesterday’s Jeremy Irons may well have become today’s Jeremy Beadle. Eddy and Patsy find it helps to have a good bitch through Hello! and the Enquirer before making any hasty decisions. See 
Edina finds it helps to consult one when her Chakras go out of whack. A good Auric healer would spot immediately that Eddy’s years of drink, drugs and shopping have had a seriously negative affect on her aura.