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In Memory by Grainne Connolly

Polly March

For a recently graduated artist, that first public show is always going to be nerve-wracking - you are letting the public in to critique your work for the very first time.

But when the subject matter is that of your own grief at losing your father, it opens up a whole different swathe of emotion.

For Pembrokeshire-born Grainne Connolly, whose first exhibition is currently on at the Swansea Museum, her father's death in 2011 created a huge crossroads in her life.

Image © Grainne Connolly

Falling behind on her college work at Carmarthen College, she could either take time out to resit the year, or turn and face that elephant in the room which she was currently unable to tackle, her very raw sense of loss.

Bravely, she chose the latter path and at a time when all she wanted to do was shut off her emotions, she picked up her camera and ventured out into the Pembrokeshire countryside to re-connect with her father.

Image © Grainne Connolly

She told me: "I realised I had to go on and do my third year, but all I could really think about was my dad.

"It was really cathartic actually because until then I wasn't letting myself feel anything and I realised I hadn't really known him.

"He died on a beautiful day at the end of a hot spring in 2011 and during the winter that followed, I felt compelled to get to know him, as the man he was, not just as my parent."

Image © Grainne Connolly

What came next was an extraordinary voyage of self-discovery, which saw Grainne visit the places her father often frequented as a way of connecting with him.

He was a fan of ancient burial sites and historic places in Pembrokeshire and whereas in his lifetime she used to dread being dragged along on the excursions in the cold and wet to visit yet another meaningless location, this time her experience was quite different.

"When he died, he was buried in a churchyard next to where he lived and I felt nothing going there - his spirit wasn't there for me.

"Instead I could really imagine him in the places he used to visit. It became a very strong sensation and at times I felt I could smell him."

Image © Grainne Connolly

Wanting to convey this ethereal sense of presence in her photographs, Grainne began experimenting with her techniques.

She decided to use strips of material blowing in the wind to signify her father's presence and alighted on the idea of muslin as a material because it used to be used traditionally in funerals.

Image © Grainne Connolly

"We had quite a difficult relationship and I really wanted to show it was resolved and all was forgiven.

"This project really helped me see that he was just a person who made mistakes like everybody else- it was a very healing process."

Her photographs are printed using traditional techniques on medium format film and are then printed by hand on silver Gelatin papers.

Image © Grainne Connolly

"I love the process of the dark room and seeing the image come out on paper as you lift it out of the chemicals."

In Memory, a collection of photographs by Grainne Connolly is on show at the Swansea Museum's Long Gallery until 14 April.

For more details about the artist visit her website gk-connolly.co.uk.

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