I remember coming in for a late shift on Wales Today and slumping to my desk, exhausted and frazzled before my working day had even begun.
It's the school holidays. I'd been trying to have some fun time with Gabriel in the morning before getting to the office.
Lucy and Gabriel at the Wales Today studio
I'm clutching a mini-figure, role playing an evil genius bent on playroom domination and the destruction of my son's rival character. At the same time I'm squinting at articles on BBC News online, trying to read them out of the corner of my eye, while the news channel rolls in the background. After my cyborg is defeated by Gabriel's 2cm high alien, I drop him with grandparents who will hold the fort until dad comes home at 9pm. I just about make it to my desk on time.
I know I'm not alone. Whenever I meet other working mums, or talk to friends who are doing the juggle, you can bet that pretty quickly our conversation will turn to how we're trying to balance work with home life. Whether it's the most recent childcare drama that has had to be resolved, or how we're feeling guilty that day because we are missing sports day – many of us feel the pull pretty constantly.
I wanted to find out how other women across Wales are managing to do it. Have they discovered how to get it right? Can they help me do it better?
Lucy meets a mum who is about to go back to work after maternity leave.
I've met some incredible mums making this programme. Every one of them faces different, yet ultimately similar challenges. And everyone has found a way of dealing with it that works for them.
It's not always perfect – is there a working mum out there who doesn't feel stretched or torn or guilty? But there is often fulfilment too. Either from the job itself, or from satisfaction of providing for the family.
I take my hat off to mums who, for whatever reason, are at home looking after the kids. That's by no means an easy option. But I love my job and I want to work, even though I know it means sometimes I won’t be there for my son when he wants me to be.
Lucy at home with Gabriel
I've met one mum though, who gave up her dream job for her family. Another who is holding down three jobs to provide for her children. And I met mums who've set up their own businesses to try and get more flexibility into their lives.
Making this programme has made me look long and hard at the choices I've made. And while I consider the impact working has on mothers, what about our children? What effect am I having on Gabriel? A visit to Swansea's Centre for Child Research to find out, was an emotional rollercoaster.
Lucy Owen: Working Mum is on Monday 13 October at 8.30pm, BBC One Wales.
You can also watch Lucy on X-Ray on Monday at 7.30pm, BBC One Wales.
