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The past few months of festivals, gigs and the incumbent late nights have finally broken me. My voice has been reduced to a nicotine husk barrelling around in a barnacle encrusted cement mixer. The synapses in my brain have barricaded themselves behind burning trucks, inspired by militant French farmers (and who isn't inspired by militant French farmers?).
I have taken to broadcasting from under the mixing console "to protect myself from the phasotrons" - quantum light particles that extra terrestrial intelligences use to scan earth from neighbouring dimensions.
The unfortunate side effect of phasotron scanning is that you develop a tolerance for Muse. All that can protect you/immunise you is a radio mixing console filled with the finest new Welsh sounds.
So, there is an anti Muse rant in this week's show that I hope their lawyers hear. Alan Holmes brings in something from Bob Delyn A'r Ebillion - a track I'd never heard before that is so excellent, it can deflect a full-on Muse onslaught, with bombast turned up to 13 and humour set to zero, from 1814 yards.
Our barricades are further bolstered by Ben 'Soundhog' Hayes and his charge of the Tony TS Mcphee brigade.
First time footsoldiers on the battlefield are: Bodez, Ghost Carriage Phantoms, Martin Rossiter, Tomos Lewis, Hi Fi Murders, Ribbons, Lady T and Bloodflower.
They all acquit themselves with great dignity and honour.
Remember, this radio show needs YOU. Brave musical escapades should be submitted via the BBC Introducing Uploader (please).
Other correspondence should be sent via coded carrier pigeon or via themysterytour@gmail.com.
I leave you with this comforting thought: thank god Muse aren't Welsh.
MASTERS IN FRANCE - 'Playing With My Friends'
Caernarfon
BODEZ - 'A O'
Cardiff
SŵNAMI - 'Cysgodion'
Dolgellau
MILK RACE, THE - 'Bonjour M F'
Cardiff
MOWBIRD - 'The Quiet Despair Of The Starship Enterprise'
Wrexham
GHOST CARRIAGE PHANTOMS - 'Yer Boots (Radio Edit)'
Merthyr Tydfil
THIS IS WRECKAGE - '2 + 2 = Bastard'
Cardiff
NO CEREMONY /// - 'Feelsolow'
Manchester/Wales
FEEDER - 'Borders'
Newport
JOY FORMIDABLE, THE - 'Tempo (Strong Weak Weak)'
Mold
GOLDEN FABLE - 'Always Golden'
Ewloe
ALAN HOLMES - spoken contribution
Bangor
BOB DELYN A'R EBILLION - 'Dacw 'nghariad'
Gwynedd
WOLFCHILD - 'Arcades'
Cwmbran
MARTIN ROSSITER - 'Drop Anchor'
Cardiff
POPPY JONES - 'All In Time'
Welshpool
ALUN TAN LAN - 'Picwach'
Llanrwst
EARTH, THE - 'Rubbish Man'
Cardiff
TOMOS LEWIS - 'Elinor'
Dolgellau/Cardiff
COLORAMA - 'Out Of Line (Extended Remix)'
Benllech
FUTURE OF THE LEFT - 'The Real Meaning Of Christmas'
Cardiff
CORNERSHOP - 'Every Year So Different (Featuring Trwbador)'
Wolverhampton
R. SEILIOG - 'To Be A Sgerbwdun'
Peniel/Cardiff
DIVERS, THE - 'A Little Better'
Wrexham/London
WOBBLY HEARTS, THE - 'With God On Our Side (Radio Edit)'
Rhyl/Abergele/Liverpool
CATFISH AND THE BOTTLEMEN - 'A. S. A.'
Llandudno
ADELINES, THE - 'Little Games'
Swansea
BONUS SKOR - 'Fish's Tail'
Liverpool/Iceland
LITTLE ERIS - 'So Many Nights'
Cardiff
HI FI MURDERS - '100 Mile Hotel'
Newport
HEHFU - 'I'm Happy To Be Here Tonight'
Caerphilly
RIBBONS - 'Spittle'
Cwmbran
LIFTING GEAR ENGINEER - 'Caught Out'
Swansea
HOUDINI DAX - 'Heavy Tease'
Cardiff
HOWL GRIFF - 'She Walks On By The Flame'
Aberystwyth
LADY T - 'Trippy Diva!'
Ffestiniog
DAN AMOR - 'Mehefin'
Penmachno
EUROS CHILDS - 'Be Be High'
Pembrokeshire
BEN HAYES - spoken contribution
Ruthin
TONY TS MCPHEE - 'The Hunt (Extract)'
Lincolnshire
BLOODFLOWER - 'Indigo'
Unknown.
LESBIANHORSE - 'Happpiness'
Newport
