McQueen Is Dead

Peter Kay can do a good approximation of an Ulster transsexual. That's a rare talent and for that reason, we should commend the fella. And with Geraldine McQueen set to make her mark on the pop charts with 'Winner's Song' we may have the first female from Norn Iron to make those giddy heights since Sinead Quinn rocked out of Irvinestown in 2002.

But blimey, the show wasn't much good. Britain's got The Pop Factor And Possibly A New Jesus Christ Superstar Strictly On Ice might have delivered a few scything blows to the nation's reliance on audition programmes, mawkish fame journeys and vile balladeering. We wanted satire but we got "affectionate spoof".

This allowed original culprits like Neil 'Foxy' Fox, Peter Waterman and Nicki Chapman to make light of their own behaviour when a Nuremberg Trial for music crimes would have been more fitting. Weirdly, Paul McCartney and Ricky Kaiser Chief were also featured. My kids thought it was just another reality show. It wasn't much more, really.