Men Like Us: Sue Palmer

Sue Palmer is a writer and presenter, best known for her books Toxic Childhood and 21st Century Boys. She is also one of the UK's most well-established authorities on the teaching of literacy.

Sue is a contributor to the BBC Radio Scotland programme The Story of Scottish Men, part of the Men Like Us series.

It's tricky being a man these days wherever you are - but I reckon it's especially tricky in Scotland.

Sue Palmer

We've reached a point in history when the definition of what it is to be a 'decent man' - strong-minded, brave-hearted, cool-headed (but kind and considerate to those less fortunate than yourself) - have been eroded away by competitive consumerism. Meanwhile, all the horrible aspects of old-fashioned manhood have been talked up by the forces of marketing and media.

So nowadays the choice of male identity seems to be:

(a) narcissistic, soft-focus 'new man' (necessarily enhanced by cosmetic products and/or surgery)

(b) go-getting (and probably nerdy) career-guy, up to his neck in material possessions

(c) macho, muscle-bound misogynist (either in real-life or - more likely - the fantasy land of Grand Theft Auto etc.)

(d) 'funny guy' (either an endearing numbskull who needs women to sort out his problems or a sneering, materialist cynic who'd describe any evidence of human feelings as 'flaky').

Some poor blokes try to combine two or more of these personae, which can't be good for their souls.

Forty years ago when I first came to Scotland I met lots of 'decent Scotsmen' - from all social classes - with names like Tam and Sandy. They tended to be soft-spoken, 'outdoorsy' and well-educated (even if their school careers had been less than glorious). Sadly, there were also lots of Jimmies, Shugs and Torquils, already well on the way to a 21st century Consumerist Heaven.

Returning after twenty years in The Other Place, I'm devastated to find my idealised version of Scottish manhood has been seriously sidelined by contemporary culture. The Tams and Sandies are still around, thank God, but they keep a low profile - or assume a macho disguise, to avoid accusations of 'flakiness'. I earnestly hope that, for the sake of the next generation, they soon get over their crisis of confidence...

And see you, Jimmy et al? It isn't funny, it isn't clever, it isn't 'manly' ... and any female who thinks otherwise is in just as much trouble as you.