A social media parody with Ebenezer Scrooge
Scrooge: I’m feeling very nervous about this.
Yeah, I’ve been warned some of these are not me at my best.
Hi, I’m Ebenezer Scrooge,
and this is my Life in Looks.
Here goes.
Oh.
Wow. Look at that.
Yes this is, um, me.
I must be eight or ten years old, it’s Christmas day.
Yes, if I had to describe this in three words
I would call it my ‘poor forgotten self’ look.
Yeah.
Which, ironically, I had actually forgotten about, to be honest.
Poor little guy.
Ghost of Christmas past: Strange to have forgotten it so many years.
Scrooge: Yeah that’s the, uh, Ghost of Christmas Past.
Ghost of Christmas past: A solitary child.
Scrooge: Yep, thank you.
Ghost of Christmas past: Neglected by his friends.
Scrooge: Actually, I remember very well, thank you.
Part of the aesthetic of this outfit is standing by a feeble fire.
It had to be feeble.
You know, this was my minimalist era, I did it first.
Light, fire, warmth, you know, and the lack of it.
This is a motif that I return to again and again in my style, as it evolves.
Oh!
CHUCKLES
Now this is a look.
This is the, um, Fezziwig Christmas party.
It’s not quite red carpet, but it’s still pretty swanky.
Oh, look at him, look at him.
He’s so full of hope.
You know, Fezziwig was a good boss, not like some people I could mention, not naming any names.
Ghost of Christmas past: Ebenezer Scrooge.
No, that was the bit.
Ghost of Christmas past: A solitary child. That…
Scrooge: We’ve done that.
No, we’ve done that, that was earlier.
Neglected by his friends. We did that, yes, yes.
But thank you, you’re doing marvellously.
Oh, no.
Speaking of bad bosses, can we… can we just skip this one?
No.
Oh, here goes.
This is when I had just begun to wear the signs of care and avarice,
which I remember thinking really suited me.
Thankfully, you can’t see it here,
but I used to have this greedy, restless motion in the eye.
I think it was a trend among some finance bros at the time.
And me and my business partner, Jacob Marley,
we had restless eyes big time.
Always looking around for profit.
I’m actually wearing this mid-breakup.
Yes, it’s kind of my revenge dress.
Wherever Belle is now, I hope she’s happy.
Ghost of Christmas past: She is.
Scrooge: Great.
Ah.
This is my signature look.
Solitary as an oyster.
You know, all of this is vintage.
I hated to buy new.
I hated to buy anything, really.
You could say I’m underdressed,
but to be honest, I didn’t really feel the cold
because in a way, I was the cold.
No warmth could warm this guy. Ha.
He carried his own low temperature always about with him.
Mm.
Okay.
This hat, do I sound crazy or is it kind of giving candle snuffer?
You know, I’ve kind of like metaphorically snuffed the warmth out from inside me.
What, uh, am I reading too much into this?
I am, I am, no, never mind.
Ah, oh!
Sorry, sorry.
This is a transformation.
Are you ready for this?
I don’t think you’re ready. Okay, here goes.
Ah!
This is me on Christmas Day after a life-changing makeover.
I… I mean, look at this.
Before.
After.
Do you see it?
Before.
After.
Pulled an all-nighter, and it really paid off.
I am not the man I was.
Shout out to my glam team,
the Ghost of Christmas Past,
Present, uh, yet to come.
Uh, and the ghost of old Jacob Marley too, people often forget him.
Ghost of Christmas past: Did you mention me?
Scrooge: Yes, yes, I did. You were the first one I mentioned.
Are you listening?
Ghost of Christmas past: I missed it.
Scrooge: Okay.
I was originally going in a completely different direction, seriously.
I was going to wear the chain I forged in life
and sort of just wander the earth accessorised with cashboxes,
keys, padlocks.
Fortunately, when I saw that look on the ghost of old Jacob Marley,
I knew it wasn’t right.
Chains are not in this season.
Christmas.
Yeah, wherever he is now, I wish Jacob Marley all the best.
Ghost of Christmas past: He is travelling with no rest, no peace from the incessant torture of remorse!
Scrooge: Oh, oh, look!
Here I am, in my best.
Aha! I… I was really feeling myself in this look.
Yeah, there’s layers here in both senses.
I’m warm.
It’s a total glow up.
Some people said I looked ‘irresistibly pleasant’.
Not my words. I still think there’s work to be done.
But we’re all works in progress.
Um, even if you think you can’t change, you can.
No one is past all hope.
If you’ve never given it a try, I really recommend giving being haunted a go.
Those guys completely changed my life.
Hm.
Merry Christmas.
Voice off screen: Uh, it’s March.
Scrooge: Well, I honour Christmas in my heart,
and try to keep it all the year.
That’s my top tip for you.
Ghost of Christmas past: You were horrible.
But then again, you were a solitary child. A solitary child, yes, yes.
Scrooge: I… Is there not someone else you could haunt?
Description
Ebenezer Scrooge revisits his life in looks in this social media parody. He looks back from solitary child to miserly businessman and all the way up to today’s post ghost Christmas glow-up.
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