by Anna Lindsay BBC News Online, Southampton

With no time to waste, I cajole my friend Stephen to join me at the launch night of the ironically named Slow Dating in Southampton.

The men move from table to table while the women remain seated

After registering online and reading the welcome email, which says: "...you will be made to feel comfortable", I feel more like I am going into hospital to have my appendix out than going dating.

By the look of fear on Stephen's face, he would rather be having an anaesthetic and part of his insides ripped out.

He has spent most of his 20s avoiding any kind of organised package holiday-style beery party games. At this point, I am wondering if our friendship is going to survive.

A first scan around the bar to check out the evening's talent reveals women holding court on harem-style sofas and lots of men on their own standing around looking a bit shifty. Including Stephen.

It is startlingly apparent the women are far more comfortable with speed dating, even those who are here alone.

Speed dating is pretty straight forward. The women stay seated while the men move around the tables - you have four minutes to have a chat and hopefully make an impression.

My first date sits down and we get chatting. "So have you done this before?", he asks. By the end of the evening I have heard this question so many times I want hold up my answers on little placards.

Speed daters take notes between dates

The four-minute limit obviously has its benefits for aborting mission impossible conversations, but on many occasions I glean real gems of information just before the bell goes: "...and I hold the world record at skydiving dressed in a chicken outfit..." RING RING!

At the halfway break, Stephen tells me his dates' note-taking is making him feel like a job interviewee. Specific answers seem to make his interviewers scribble more frantically than others.

Yet I have seen a massive change in him. In fact, in all the men. They are actually enjoying themselves.

After a halfway break, it is time to ring the changes. There is no time to waste, literally.

"Football or rugby?, country walks or tequila slammers? ... blondes or brunettes? ...Ant or Dec...??"

Stephen admits he thought better of asking, "have you got your own teeth?"

By the time date number 19 is leaving, I am exhausted, bored of talking but feel strangely good about myself. If I am completely honest, this is quite an ego boost.

It turns out speed dating is not the realm of the sad lonely-heart, desperately seeking love at all costs. Its no-nonsense approach may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it is damn good fun.

The crunch, however, comes the next day, when everyone logs online to enter who they are interested in seeing again.

Have you been speed dating? Did you meet anyone special? Here are some of your comments so far:

I've been speed dating once, and found it pretty depressing because the quality of people was dreadfully low. But then I'm a 40-year-old man and it's probably harder for me than for someone in their 20s. I'd like to date someone in their 20s, but am considered far too old. Single women my age have almost invariably got some form of 'baggage'.
Anonymous 40-something, UK

I run speed dating in the Buckinghamshire and Ruislip, Middlesex, area, and it is very successful. The normal success rate for each event is 50%. It is great fun and a really cost-effective way, both in time and monetary terms, of meeting people as most of the people that attend the events are hard-working professionals who find it very difficult to spare the time to meet anyone.
Dee Baines, Buckinghamshire, UK

I haven't speed dated but would consider it. However, I do have to wonder at the callibre of dates given the comment by 'Anonymous' that most women his age (40+) have "some sort of baggage". I would think that most single people, male or female have this encumberance at 40!! Don't hold your breath, I don't think there's much chance of a 20-year-old being interested!!
Annie, England

Dee Baines' comment specifically highlights what I dont seem to understand about speed dating... if it's full of professionals who have no time to find dates, how will they ever find the time to build and work on a relationship? - even if presented with the ideal partner?
Liz, UK

To the anonymous 40-something. How sad that you consider age, experience and responsibilities (be it children or mortgages) to be 'baggage'. Perhaps the 20-year-olds you wish to date view you in the same way.
Anonymous, UK

I went speed dating and had a fantastic night. Probably one of my best nights in 2003 despite not meeting a future boyfriend. My flatmate on the other hand came with me and five months later is still going out with a guy she met there.
Sharon Kyme, UK

Speed Dating means different things to different people. I went on my own and thought "what a wonderful chance to meet 20 like-minded people" but soon realised that the majority around me were there with a bunch of their pals just for a laugh, not to find a date. How depressing. Worst still is logging online and finding that most of those who have ticked you have only done so to find out who ticked them and have no intention of replying to your email, so I discovered.
Simon, UK

I came along to this speed dating evening in Southampton and I thought the whole thing was a hoot. I was pleasantly surprised with the quality of the organisation, the men, and the conversation. I was nervous at the beginning but would definitely go again - if any of my two matches doesn't come to anything.
Danielle Sacco, Southampton, UK

I gave speed dating a go, and was very surprised to have such a great night! You meet/talk to many more people than on a typical night out - some for whom 3 minutes drags, and others for whom it just flies and you'd like more. If you arrive with no expectation of romance or true love, and are open to meeting different people, you can have a really good time. Having ticked all those I wouldn't mind having a drink with in the future, there were a few matches, and lo and behold I actually find myself with a boyfriend who I would never otherwise have met. It's worth a shot.
Heather, UK

I attended a speed dating party in NYC last summer, and it was not for me. I'm in my mid-20s, and most of the men were 35 and older, and not exactly my type. They were mostly computer 'techie' types, lacking in social skills. It felt too much like a job interview.
Monica, USA

If they can find me love in four minutes then miracles can happen.
James, UK

Dear 'Mr Anonymous 40ish', this is your problem in a nutshell: 40-year-old body attached to 20-year-old brain looking for 40-year-old brain attached to 20-year-old body. Likelyhood of success? About zero!
Gillian, USA

My experience and memories of speed dating are a mixture of white knuckle nerves, too many gin and tonics, having to admit I prefer chocolate to crisps and meeting a beautiful, intelligent girl who I am still with now almost 6 months on. I only went along because a close friend and I were both in need of an ego boost for our ailing love lives. Best thing I have done in a long time. Go, I say!
Nick, UK

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