Sometimes it's a passionate burst, love at first sight or the odd dirty weekend. And sometimes it's a growing, deepening affair of the heart that matures into a lifelong commitment.

Wales hooked me at a very early age. Growing up in north Worcestershire meant that A. E. Housman's "blue remembered hills" of the borders were my exotic western horizon - a good deal more exotic than if you looked the other way and saw the Black Country and Brum smouldering into the distance. Being a junior map addict, hours were spent poring over Ordnance Surveys of Wales, rolling the other-worldly names over my tongue and stroking the savage contours with relish. By the age of eleven, I'd found a Teach Yourself Welsh book in a jumble sale and was busily attempting to get past "rydw i'n hoffi coffi", a statement I couldn't make without giggling. And still can't, to be honest.

if you're living in a Welsh-speaking area, getting some grounding in Cymraeg is, I believe, essential. So many people don't bother, and then wonder why they feel like eternal outsiders Mike Parker

I nearly moved to Wales for university, and then when I became a freelance writer in my early twenties, but both times, other needs won out. In the early 1990s, I landed the job of co-writing the new Rough Guide to Wales, which gave me ample chance to poke around the country. Before long, I was spending more and more time in Wales, not just for work, but partying hard with new friends and acquaintances. The inevitable move, to a small village in mid Wales, came shortly after the turn of the new millennium.

That first summer, I spent a month on the intensive Welsh course at Aberystwyth University. Studying the language all day, every day for four weeks was a huge challenge, but enormous fun too, and I emerged from it with enough Welsh to get by in. Going to a class once or twice a week is fine, but it will be years before you dare use it outside; an intensive course really is the best way. And if you're living in a Welsh-speaking area, getting some grounding in Cymraeg is, I believe, essential. So many people don't bother, and then wonder why they feel like eternal outsiders.

Six years on, my relationship with Wales has changed enormously. This was somewhere to which I'd always come for rest and recreation, and now it's home to all of my life: the dull and frustrating bits as much as the joyous ones. It's not like being on holiday the whole time: far from it. The more I've been here, the more I've come to see the magnificent landscape not merely for its picture postcard qualities, but to appreciate the often very dark and difficult cultural and historical factors woven into it. It's not an easy option to be here, as can be seen by the number of English folk who move, only to see their marriages disintegrate or their second long winter send them over the edge. But if you can persevere and be prepared to change your perspective, then Wales can be a place that will amply reward your commitment.

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