There’s no denying that night feeds take a massive toll on your body and mind in the early weeks and months of parenthood.
Heaving yourself out of bed in the darkness to feed your newborn really pushes your parental positivity to its limits.
They’re tough, full stop. But it’s totally normal for young babies to wake a few times a night and thankfully, there are lots of tiny ways you can make night feeds more bearable.
Here are some hints and tips that’ll help you handle the disruption, create a calm environment and grab as much sleep as you can.
Get ready
First off, recharge your body for night feeds with daytime naps, says Louise Wilkinson of Precious Beginnings, a baby massage instructor, children’s nurse and sleep practitioner. “Everyone says it because it’s true. Sleeping during the day is a massive win. Sleep when your baby sleeps rather than trying to get stuff done.”
And prepare what you physically need for night feeds, so you’re not fumbling around in the dark and you can keep them as low-key as possible. That might mean getting a comfortable chair positioned and your nappy changing area ready. “And small comforts like a drink for yourself and biscuits to snack on,” says Louise.
Have a calming bedtime routine
Start winding down in the evening. “This can help your baby to understand that night-time is for sleeping,” explains Louise. “Keep lights and your voices low. Your TV and other devices like your phone keep you connected with the outside world but research shows that the lights from screens can disrupt the production of melatonin, the body’s sleep hormone. So, it’s all about finding the right balance of use.
Check out our tips for creating a calm bedtime routine.
Baby massage can really help, adds Louise. “It’s a great way to build your bond and is great for calming your baby, especially if they’re a little bit active.”
Keep your baby close
When baby nods off, continue with subtle lighting, soft voices and keep them close.
“Sounds so obvious but keeping them near is really beneficial because it means you’ll sense when they do wake and identify their hunger cues. They’ll also feel comforted, so it can also help them from waking too much,” explains Louise. “Another practical benefit is that you don’t have to go as far to feed them, so everything’s easier and calmer.”
The Lullaby Trust, which raises awareness of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and provides expert advice on sleep for babies, says the safest place for your baby to sleep for their first 6 months is in a separate cot or Moses basket in the same room as you. Check out their safer sleep advice.
Share night feeds
“There’s lots your partner or whoever you’re living with can do to support you, and by helping you they’re a great emotional support too,” says Louise. “Don’t be afraid to ask for their help, it could be as simple as fetching you drinks and snacks or burping baby, but it will make a world of difference.”
Hide the clock
“Avoid clock watching, it’s so self-defeating but we’ve all done it. Because when you’re staring at the time and waiting for baby to wake, you’re not going to fall asleep,” says Louise.
Feel a sense of solidarity
When we asked our brilliant THP online community for their advice, their overriding message was solidarity. Sarah said her comfort is “looking at the moon and knowing so many other mums are doing the same”, while Robyn always reaches out to her mum community when she’s up. “Late night texts with friends are a great support: it’s nice to know someone else is awake.”
Hear, hear says Louise. “Night feeds can feel incredibly lonely and it can feel like you’re the only one up, while the world around you sleeps. So there’s a lot to be said for simply connecting with others, realising that there are many people in exactly the same position as you at 2am,” adds Louise.
Find a relaxing way to pass the time
By keeping feeds tranquil, you’ll help your baby learn that night-time isn’t play time and ease them back into sleep. And while they’re feeding, you could pass the time and nourish your mind in a low-key way. “For example, audio books and podcasts are great and mean that you don’t have to turn any screens on,” suggests Louise.
Remember this won't be forever
You’re knackered and pushed to your limits but try to enjoy the time with your baby, says Louise. “There will come a time that you’ll look back on night feeds. It doesn’t feel like it when you’re in the thick of it, but it does go really quickly. Try to embrace it. I know it’s hard, but remember you’re not going to get another time like this unless you have more children!”
... and remember that every baby is different
We put all sorts of pressures on ourselves as parents, and one of those comes from comparing ourselves and our babies. “While it’s comforting to talk to other parents, try avoid comparing – it’ll add unnecessary pressure to your experience of parenting,” adds Louise. “Every baby is completely different and every baby learns to sleep through the night at completely different times.”
