As a parent, so much of your focus and energy goes towards looking after your child.
In the journey of parenting, it can sometimes be tough to prioritise yourself and your own needs.
It’s important to remember that parental wellbeing is important too and that looking after yourself plays a massive role in your ability to look after your kids.
Here are some realistic tips for how to look after your own wellbeing while parenting…
Melishah: If I could give myself advice back to when my first was born definitely I would just say… one second.
It was a really really hard time back then but what would I say to myself… I don't know? The hardest thing that I find about being a parent is when they are actually growing things changing and things not being how they used to.
It's kind of emotionally and mentally draining. You just feel so tired and… I think some of the harder parts of parenting, for example, if they're going through kind of illness or teething or anything like that I don't have any time to myself and sometimes I just find myself comparing myself to other people who haven't got kids and how much time they've got and and yeah just not having time to myself is I think is the hardest part.
I think this time around with the newborn it was overwhelming at first and I did feel a bit overwhelmed and I didn't really know what to do because all of the routines were out and I had no time for myself at all but as he's growing a little bit older and those routines are set in I've got a little bit of time for myself so I think it's a lot better now now that he's a little bit older.
My partner really helps me make space and really helps me look after myself. He kind of knows when I need a bit of time to myself and he'll kind of step in and allow me to go and have a bit of time to myself and just regenerate and recuperate.
My tips for new parents or making time for themselves is just lean on your support network and really try to get some time once anyone else is watching the kids. just try to come home and have a bath or just whatever you can.
I'll say, can you watch him? But I really don't, if you don't want, if you don't, you don't have to, if you don't want to, you know, it's fine. But… they don't care, they don't care, they'd love to have their kids, yeah.
Just being there will make a difference for a new parent, just supporting them, talking to them. I think just giving time to speak. Because sometimes you're just with kids all day long and you just need someone to talk to and I think that really helped. I wish someone had just told me to just relax and that each stage will come and it'll go and nothing just lasts forever.
I wish I could just go back and tell myself, you'll be okay. As time goes on, everything will get better. And it does.
Know you aren't alone
It can be isolating to be a parent sometimes, and it’s easy to get into the habit of comparing yourself to other parents you know.
So it’s important to remember that you aren’t alone and that many other parents feel the exact same way as you.
Many of the most challenging parts of parenting are temporary, so even if things are tough in the moment, these challenges won’t last forever.
Find your support network
As the saying goes ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’
It’s always okay to ask for help from people in your support network.
This could mean working with family, friends or professionals to get the help you need – remember this is completely normal and dosen’t mean you are “doing it wrong” or “doing a bad job”
Rather, by recognising your own needs and asking for help, you are being proactive and a really engaged and consistent parent
Let go of your inner critic
You may feel pressure as a parent to be perfect, and to make the correct choices all the time.
But we are all humans who can make mistakes from time to time.
A more effective approach is to value consistency over perfection, by not punishing yourself if you can’t always stick to the routine or plan.
Even if you don’t get it quite right every day, you and your child will always be making progress.
Have your own self-care routines
One of the biggest parenting lessons to learn is that you can’t pour from an empty cup.
But we don’t always realise when we need to take breaks.
A good way around this is to schedule in self care as part of your regular routine – this could be as small as a ten minute walk to the shop or a bit of TV between work and child care.
If you schedule it into your routines, you are much more likely to do it consistently.
Support for mental health
If you need some further support as a parent, it’s always good to reach out.
A great way to do this is by chatting to other parents, as they may be able to offer advice, solutions, and support for current challenges.
You can also attend parenting groups to meet parents of other children your age.
If you are struggling with your mental health, you can access resources through the NHS website or your GP.
